# Squeaky Fromme, or The Squeakshank Redemption **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 6, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496 "2009-08-06T02:28:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/1 "2009-08-06T02:28:50Z")
Since I haven’t seen it elsewhere I’ll put it here with thanks to \*\*MPB in Salt Lake \*\*who mentioned it in the John Waters thread: [Squeaky Fromme has been paroled](http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/08/05/squeaky.fromme.release/index.html). She gets out next week. So what do you do when you’ve been in prison for 35 years and are the batshittiest crazy member (at least in interviews) of the world’s most horrifying tiny cult? My guess: first a series of children’s books, then an autobio, then a club called SQUEAKEASY! By this time next year she’ll have replaced Paula Abdul on AMERICAN IDOL. > [@](#): > > Simon: I thought that number was simply, in a word, dreadful and more disgusting than afterbirth. > > Kara: You know, I’m going to go with Simon, but not as much and differently, except I kind of liked it. > > Squeaky: You know who could sing that song? CHARLES MANSON! That’s who could sing that song! Except he wouldn’t just sing it, he’d make it come alive, like he did that dead bird in the desert that time! And one time I saw him turn a rock into a butterfly, and it flew away, and when it came back it was a hawk and it ushered in a millennium of peace that would have lasted if it hadn’t been for you people out there not even letting us live our lives! I’m talking to you America! One day your children are going to rise up and tear out your beating heart and eat it before your greedy eyes and when that happens I’m going to laugh and Charlie will laugh loudest because he’ll be vindicated at last! > > Randy: Dog you had some pitchiness, what can I say? Ending was good though and I liked the falsetto. > > Squeaky: Yeah I forgot to mention, the falsetto was good. But cut down on the vibrato, Jeez! And then a super successful revival of CHICAGO in which she plays Roxy to Sara Jane Moore’s Velma with Robert Blake as Billy Flynn. That will lead to a hit talk show. “Today on SQUEAKY we talk about how hard Hollywood is on overweight actresses, Philip Seymour Hoffman talks about his new movie, and ten more ways Charles Manson can save the world, then Richard Simmons shows how to make our butts perkier for summer!” Maybe eventually a sitcom: Squeaky adopts a family of multiracial orphans and they go around the country in a bus solving crimes and dropping letters off to “Uncle Charlie” (played in cameos by Jason Lee). And of course ultimately a career in country music. Or she’ll be back in prison by this time next month when she sexually molests a fire hydrant while holding a nun hostage with a spork. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/2 "2009-08-06T02:36:40Z")
First, she finishes the job on Ford, then opens a diner specializing in potato dishes. Names it “Taters”. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/3 "2009-08-06T02:41:00Z")
She could become the oldest cast member of SNL. There’s nothing she can possibly do that wouldn’t be funnier than the Gilly sketches. In fact I bet if _she_ did the Gilly sketches they’d be funny. “Who killed the turtle and used it’s blood to write FREE CHARLIE on the wall? Gilly?” ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/4 "2009-08-06T02:45:13Z")
Best thread title in recent memory! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/5 "2009-08-06T03:02:32Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > First, she finishes the job on Ford, then opens a diner specializing in potato dishes. Ford being dead as he is, the odds of her reoffending are pretty low. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/6 "2009-08-06T03:05:58Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Ford being dead as he is, the odds of her reoffending are pretty low. Whoosh! ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/7 "2009-08-06T03:28:34Z")
VH1 reality show: _Best Squeak Ever_. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/8 "2009-08-06T03:38:05Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Ford being dead as he is, the odds of her reoffending are pretty low. I thought Ford was in good shape compared to Chrysler and GM. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/9 "2009-08-06T03:41:50Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > She could become the oldest cast member of SNL. There’s nothing she can possibly do that wouldn’t be funnier than the Gilly sketches. In fact I bet if _she_ did the Gilly sketches they’d be funny. > > “Who killed the turtle and used it’s blood to write FREE CHARLIE on the wall? Gilly?” If I wasnt convinced that Kristen Wiig is currently the hottest!!! woman on television, I would bring her and SNL up on Crimes Againt Humanity charges in the Hauge for the savage, un-natural torture that is the “Gilly” sketch… (how the hell did they decide to subject us to more than one installment of Gilly!!!----Of course, once Kristen Wiig and I are united, I will convince her to focus on other, more satisfying outlets for her “creativity” and relinquish her doomed comedic aspirations.) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/10 "2009-08-06T03:59:18Z")
What? No regular chair on The View? Perhaps Glen Beck could benefit from a tag team like Hannity & Doormat used to do: Batshit and Batshittier. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/11 "2009-08-06T04:10:22Z")
Now who doesn’t love Squeaky? ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/12 "2009-08-06T04:17:18Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > What? No regular chair on The View? Perhaps Glen Beck could benefit from a tag team like Hannity & Doormat used to do: Batshit and Batshittier. Wouldn’t they still be arguing over who was who? ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/13 "2009-08-06T04:45:14Z")
“Give me your tired, your Squeak…” Maybe she could host new game shows, like _Manson Family Feud_. “Top three things Sharon Tate screamed while being stabbed: our survey SAYS…” ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/14 "2009-08-06T05:29:22Z")
I kinda see her as a pitchman for Zyprexa or Seroquel. And speaking of mundane and _completely pointless_ things which bear sharing, the lovely Miss Lynette and I have the same birthday (October 22), and we both went to the same junior high school. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/15 "2009-08-06T05:32:15Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > I thought Ford was in good shape compared to Chrysler and GM. Not since the Democrats insisted on bailing him out. (Betty was furious.) ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/16 "2009-08-06T05:33:34Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > (how the hell did they decide to subject us to more than one installment of Gilly!!!----Of course, once Kristen Wiig and I are united, I will convince her to focus on other, more satisfying outlets for her “creativity” and relinquish her doomed comedic aspirations.) Will you be MPB in NYC or will she be Gilly in Salt Lake? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/17 "2009-08-06T05:55:54Z")
She’ll have to set up a Twitter account. Hmm. SqueakTweets? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/18 "2009-08-06T06:05:01Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > VH1 reality show: _Best Squeak Ever_. I’m not convinced that she’s ready to carry a show on her own, yet. I say start her off in a supporting/sidekick type of role and see how she handles it; like baliff on _The People’s Court_ or a sideline reporter on _Monday Night Football_. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/19 "2009-08-06T06:14:43Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I’m not convinced that she’s ready to carry a show on her own, yet. I say start her off in a supporting/sidekick type of role and see how she handles it; like baliff on _The People’s Court_ or a sideline reporter on _Monday Night Football_. I like the Glenn Beck panelist idea for a beginning. From there football. And of course there’s got to be a Susan Boyle type makeover. She’s 34 years out of fashion after all, and that Sissy Spacek in a pageboy look needs to go faster than you can say “plug it up Buster Brown”. And for romance of course is where the reality show comes in: perhaps TAKING A SHOT AT LOVE. Or pair her up in an ‘opposites attract’ show with Willie Aames (unless you can get Sanjaya) ala Brigitte and Flava Flav. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496/20 "2009-08-06T21:08:09Z")
The most surprising thing to me about her release is that in all of her (relatively few admittedly) interviews she always seemed the least repentant, the most remorseless, and the biggest Manson groupie of the bunch. She’s the Bellatrix Lestrange of the group- you half imagine her running through Lafayette Park singing "_I almost killed Gerald R. Ford…"_. I don’t picture her freedom lasting long and just hope she doesn’t hurt anybody while she’s out. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squeaky-fromme-or-the-squeakshank-redemption/505496.md?page=2)