# Squib? FUCKING SQUIB!?!?!??!!?!? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 23, 2007, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766 "2007-10-23T22:39:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/1 "2007-10-23T22:39:20Z")
The bitch is back! I was driving in my car yesterday listening to AM Catholic Talk Radio - which, by the way, is the most entertaining thing on earth. So I’m cruising along, enjoying the day, and then a commercial comes on which makes my brain explode outward through my eye sockets and nose, fanning the inside of the windshield in front of me with blood and brain matter. It’s a commercial for some sort of investment firm or something like that named Bristol Meyers **Squib**. Squibbity Squib Squib. Yep, some disgusting, horrible, world-destroying robber baron bank magnate named fucking SQUIB couldn’t help it - the fact that he has the STUPIDEST, most IRRITATING and BIZARRE-sounding last name ON THIS FUCKING GENTILE PLANET EARTH wasn’t enough to keep him from stamping the company’s name with his big, linguistic DICK. “I’m Thaddeus K. Squib and god-dammit, if this here company don’t have MAH NAME ON IT, the TURRISTS HAVE WON! Hail Hitler!” This is probably what he said as he was melting down nazi gold made from jews’ teeth in order to found the company. Like Donald retardo Trump, the missing link, he insists on putting his BIG, STUPID NAME on it. SQUIB! SQUIBBBBBBBB! IT’S LIKE JAZZ WITH WORDS! WORD JAZZ! SCADOOBY-DO! SQUIIIIIIIIIBBBBITY SQUIB! I mean, just picture he and Hitler doing a tango on top of vatican nazi gold while founding this company with his HORRIBLE HORRIBLE NAME ALL OVER IT. If you have a horrible name that sounds like it should be the name of the goddamn bartender in the Mos Eisley cantina, YOU DON’T NAME YOUR COMPANY AFTER IT, PERIOD. If my last name was Gaylord, I wouldn’t open “Gaylord Electronics.” If my last name sounded like a loud farting noise, I wouldn’t name a line of stores that sell upscale party supplies “PTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBT.” “Squib” sounds like the missing link shitting its pants. It sounds like David Koresh ejaculating into a 12-year-old. It sounds like a thuringer getting caught in a pants zipper. It sounds like 9/11. YOU DON’T NAME YOUR COMPANY SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS HORRENDOUS AND STUPID JUST BECAUSE IT HAPPENS TO BE YOUR LAST NAME, YOU EGO-AND-GREED-DRIVEN PIECE OF SUBHUMAN GARBAGE. Don’t even get me started on “Booze-Allen Hamilton.” Holy mother of fuck… ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/2 "2007-10-23T22:43:23Z")
“Squib”? That’s fucking disgusting. “Squibb”, though… that’s a lovely name. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/3 "2007-10-23T22:45:30Z")
You were gone? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/4 "2007-10-23T22:46:42Z")
Argus Filch? Or Mrs Figg? ---
**Author:** ![anamnesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb8c5e/32.png) [@anamnesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anamnesis)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/5 "2007-10-23T22:50:00Z")
Whose turn was it to make sure VCO took his meds this week? This is all your fault, whoever you are. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/6 "2007-10-23T22:50:53Z")
You realize that Bristol-Meyers merged with the Squbb Corporation about 18 years ago, right? (It’s a pharmaceutical company.) And the guy’s name was Edward Squibb. He founded the compay in 1858, so in that sense, this rant is about 150 years too late. And it’s Booz Allen Hamilton, founded during World War I, so you’re about 90 years too late for that, as well. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/7 "2007-10-23T22:51:55Z")
[QUOTE=anamnesis] Whose turn was it to make sure VCO took his meds this week? This is all your fault, whoever you are. [/QUOTE] Strangely enough, the meds were made by Brystol-Myers… ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/8 "2007-10-23T22:54:34Z")
[QUOTE=anamnesis] Whose turn was it to make sure VCO took his meds this week? This is all your fault, whoever you are. [/QUOTE] Wait, then what did I give my cat? ---
**Author:** ![Zambini57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4491bb/32.png) [@Zambini57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zambini57)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/9 "2007-10-23T22:55:42Z")
You’re bitching about the name “Squibb”? That’s an English name that dates back centuries. They even have their own Coat of Arms for Chrisakes. Google it. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/10 "2007-10-23T22:55:42Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] I was driving in my car yesterday listening to AM Catholic Talk Radio - which, by the way, is the most entertaining thing on earth. So I’m cruising along, enjoying the day, and then a commercial comes on which makes my brain explode outward through my eye sockets and nose, fanning the inside of the windshield in front of me with blood and brain matter. [/QUOTE] Did you have a [squib](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squib_%28explosive%29) attached to your head? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/11 "2007-10-23T23:08:33Z")
**VCO3** , you are such a fucking retard. Christ. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/12 "2007-10-23T23:18:12Z")
Oh yeah? How 'bout an insurance defense law firm named "[Low, Ball & Lynch](http://pview.findlaw.com/view/2448328_1?noconfirm=0) ", I shit you not. PS VC03 your rants are funny, but probably not for the reasons you think they are. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/13 "2007-10-23T23:30:18Z")
You know, Vicky, if you had only posted this only in MPSIMS and changed the tone just a little to “hey isn’t Squibb a funny sounding name?” you would’ve been fine. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/14 "2007-10-23T23:46:42Z")
Have strange football kicks been offending you for years? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/15 "2007-10-23T23:49:36Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] The bitch is back! [/quote] Yippee. > [@](#): > > It’s a commercial for some sort of investment firm or something like that named Bristol Meyers **Squib**. Drug company, actually. And their slogan, “Together, we can prevail,” is one of the worst I’ve ever heard. But somehow, you’ve got an easy target in your crosshairs and you missed again. By the way, what is “This Fucking Gentile Planet?” Is it a sequel to “This Island Earth?” ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/16 "2007-10-24T00:02:24Z")
Squibb’s a _lovely_ name, and I know for a fact that the sexy sounding ‘Squi’ on the front end makes for easy searching through long, complex documents. It’s certainly a cut or two above [Vandium carbonate](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&c2coff=1&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&hs=oAo&q=%22vanadium+carbonate%22&btnG=Search). Who the hell cares about VCO3 anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/17 "2007-10-24T00:07:48Z")
Of course Squibs are evil. I heard Brandon Lee was killed by one. …ducks & runs. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/18 "2007-10-24T00:19:10Z")
Squibs are commonly known to have no magical powers. I thought that was important to share. ---
**Author:** ![ReuvenB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@ReuvenB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReuvenB)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/19 "2007-10-24T00:32:57Z")
Sometimes I wonder when I see posts like this by VCO3 about what he might be like in real life. Is he one of those people who says random stupid shit all the time to no one in particular? Maybe he is quiet, only able to voice his [bugfuck insane] opinions where he is anonymous. Or maybe he’s just a dumbass. I vote for dumbass. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766/20 "2007-10-24T00:36:39Z")
I told you to drink _decaf_ not espresso. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/squib-fucking-squib/423766.md?page=2)