# Stacy's mom is \*so\* hot. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 20, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672 "2004-08-20T04:33:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/41 "2004-08-20T16:10:59Z")
Personally, I’m lookin’ for ol’ Sukie Jones. She crazy hoss saloon, y’know. Gotta keep an eye out for Janie though. I heard some guy jacked her, and they found him underneath a train. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/42 "2004-08-20T16:19:23Z")
Forget Stacy and her mom. Because of Laura, here I am feeling like a fucking fool. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/43 "2004-08-20T16:49:22Z")
> [@LMM](#): > > 17 sounds about right: She _was_ just seventeen. You know what I mean. And the way she looked was way beyond compare. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/44 "2004-08-20T16:52:35Z")
She was only seventeen…Seventeen, her momma said she’s too young but she’s old enough for me… the hell sang that? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/45 "2004-08-20T16:58:31Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Forget Stacy and her mom. Because of Laura, here I am feeling like a fucking fool. Tell Laura I love her. ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/46 "2004-08-20T17:18:48Z")
I’ve just spent an evening swilling champagne (I swear to God, after the first five I was knocking ‘em back like freakin’ Coca-Cola) and I have some disturbing news to report… Now…I’m not the world’s most masculine man… **but** I know what I am, and I’m glad I’m a man… …and so is Stacy’s mom. :eek: (On Preview) Yeah, **Tentacle Monster** , Lola’s cool…just don’t arm-wrestle her. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/47 "2004-08-20T17:20:23Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > Haven’t you already [tried](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=271188) this? Different gal. She just wasn’t the girl for me. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/48 "2004-08-20T17:25:05Z")
I have no idea as to what this is about. Time for bed anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/49 "2004-08-20T17:25:30Z")
> [@neofishboy](#): > > Now…I’m not the world’s most masculine man… **but** > I know what I am, and I’m glad I’m a man… OTOH, we can tell by the way you walk that you’re a woman’s man, no time to talk. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/50 "2004-08-20T17:37:33Z")
Stacy’s mom may definitely have it goin’ on, but ooooh Rhiannon! Tripler Rhiiiiaaaaaanon! ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/51 "2004-08-20T17:40:39Z")
Stary mom. Meh. Now Lisa, my Woman in Red… ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/52 "2004-08-20T17:42:25Z")
**Stacy’s** mom. Meh. Now Lisa, my Woman in Red… ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/53 "2004-08-20T17:58:16Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Stacy’s mom is hot, but I prefer Jenny. I even have her phone number, as luck would have it. Anyone care to guess? You don’t say. ^^^ ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/54 "2004-08-20T18:06:36Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > She was only seventeen…Seventeen, her momma said she’s too young but she’s old enough for me… > > the hell sang that? With great shame, I will tell you that it was Winger. I would sing the praises of the woman I love, but I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar (I am the son and heir of nothing in particular). ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/55 "2004-08-20T18:06:36Z")
Once Jack is outta the picture, Diane’s _all_ mine. (Hey, I’m doin’ the best I can.) ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/56 "2004-08-20T18:07:00Z")
Yeah, I know. It may be wrong, but **everybody’s** in love with Stacy’s mom. However, I’m _kinda fonda Wanda,_ 'cause Wanda always wanna wanna wanna. ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/57 "2004-08-20T19:16:23Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > OTOH, we can tell by the way you walk that you’re a woman’s man, no time to talk. Aw jezz…it shows? **Damn this priapism!** Actually, I _have_ consulted a doctor about it. Apparently I need to put the lime in the coconut and…well, I won’t bore you with the details. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/58 "2004-08-20T19:35:38Z")
> [@neofishboy](#): > > I’ve just spent an evening swilling champagne (I swear to God, after the first five I was knocking ‘em back like freakin’ Coca-Cola) and I have some disturbing news to report… > > Now…I’m not the world’s most masculine man… **but** > I know what I am, and I’m glad I’m a man… > > …and so is Stacy’s mom. :eek: \<\\> ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/59 "2004-08-20T19:46:39Z")
Nothing at all like that girl Betty. She was so pretty I used to let her call me Al. ---
**Author:** ![joemama24\_98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce7236/32.png) [@joemama24\_98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joemama24_98)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672/60 "2004-08-20T20:02:11Z")
I can’t take credit for this gem, but got it from a friend of a friend via a chain mail: \Love in the Eighties\ I was working part time in a five and dime. My boss was Mr. Magee. He was six foot four and full of muscles and walked like an Egyptian, but I was happy to be stuck with him. One manic Monday, while I was busy working for the weekend, I overheard him make a careless whisper. He told two of my co-workers, Jack and Diane, that I gave love a bad name. Well, I got so emotional, baby. I told him to say say say what he wants, but don’t play games with my affection. He told me it was hard for him to say he’s sorry and not to worry, to be happy. Then he blamed it on the rain. He was so out of touch. It just took my breath away. I couldn’t fight this feeling any longer. I asked him “What’s love got to do with it?” He told me to get outta his store and his dreams and into my car. So I figured I might as well jump. I cut footloose, went home and called my girl, Jenny. (You already know the number) She was on the other line with Amanda. They were talking about Mickey and how he was so fine. That blew my mind! Was she really going out with him? I told her that I had just called to say I love her. She told me she had been saving all her love for me, but now she was looking for a new love - hasta la vista, baby. I thought “I can’t go for that - no can do! Bring me a higher love!” I called up some of my old west end girls, hoping that one of them would want to get physical all night long (all night). First I called Billie Jean - she told me to beat it. I called Rosanna - her sister Christian blessed the rains down in Africa and then hung up on me. Come on, Eileen! … no answer. Nobody told me there’d be days like these! I was feeling like the owner of a lonely heart. Then, out of the blue, my best friend’s girlfriend (she used to be mine) Roxanne calls. Yes, the real Roxanne. She told me she still hadn’t found what she’s looking for and that she wanted to take on me. I said “I thought you were Jessie’s girl.” She said “Don’t you want me? You don’t have to put on the red light - I’m on my own.” What a feeling! I had the eye of the tiger. Who was I f-f-f-foolin? Roxanne drove me crazy like no one else. She’s a beauty! She blinded me with science, and weird science at that. There was always something there to remind me of her and I just knew that I’d have the time of my life. I wasn’t about to la-di-da-di. I jumped in my little red Corvette and rocked down to Electric Avenue. I got my mind set on her. When I got to her house (in the middle of her street) I ran. I rapped on her front door and to this rapper’s delight, I heard a voice say “Who can it be now?” “Here I am, the one that you love”, I replied. I let my love open the door and was immediately lost in her eyes. I felt like a virgin touched for the very first time. She loosened her blouse and said “Rock me Amadeus!” Well, I felt it was my prerogative to bust a move. I told her “I’ll tumble for ya!” as I pinned her on the stairs, hungry like the wolf. Just then I felt an invisible touch on my shoulder. “Turn around bright eyes!” said a familiar voice. As I did, Jessie hit me with a sledgehammer of an uppercut that spun me right round like a record. He was hangin’ tough and continued to roll with it, knocking the wind from beneath my wings - broken wings by this time. He rocked me tonight, for old time’s sake, beating me from head to toe, until my true colors were black and blue and blood was spilling from my mouth like red, red wine. “You don’t owe me money for nothing!” he snarled. At this point I was livin’ on a prayer. I crawled back to my little red Corvette and drove home thinking about how my tainted love had cut like a knife - how it seems that every rose, truly, has its thorn. No longer do I want to know what love is. Love stinks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stacys-mom-is-so-hot/260672.md?page=4)