# "'Stand back,' Tom ejaculated!" Origin of the "Tom Swifty"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 6, 2005, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267 "2005-12-06T00:07:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/81 "2009-11-13T22:04:17Z")
“The pacifier sure shut that baby up,” Tom decried. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/82 "2009-11-13T22:34:17Z")
“Love these hot dogs,” Tom said frankly. ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/83 "2009-11-13T22:40:51Z")
“We can build a starship!” Tom declared enterprisingly. ---
**Author:** ![Xotan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/278dde/32.png) [@Xotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xotan)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/84 "2009-11-13T23:11:11Z")
“I’m sure it’s a volcano”, Tom erupted. “Let me slip into something more comfortable”, she said, negligently. “I saw her in the mirror”, said Tom, reflectively “It’s a deal”, said Tom, agreeably “She’s a famous thespian”, said Tom, gaily. “I like flying”, said Tom, airily. “I don’t believe in visions and signs”, said Tom ominously. “I’m being thrown to the lions in the Colosseum tomorrow”, said Tom, cattily. “I can’t get this car to start”, said Tom , stuttering. “I’m a magician”, said Tom charmingly. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/85 "2009-11-13T23:58:52Z")
“You should write a book,” Tom mused. “Perhaps you could make Christmas ornaments out of those old eggshells,” Tom said craftily. “I’ll bet I’ve seen more Rocky movies than you have,” Tom said slyly. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/86 "2009-11-14T00:19:19Z")
“That isn’t a laser!” Tom said incoherently. “I like camping” Tom said intensely. “There’s no more room in the fireplace” Tom said gratefully. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/87 "2009-11-14T00:31:52Z")
> [@Karen\_X2](#): > > This may be one of the best I’ve ever heard. Thank you, always nice to be appreciated. :Pride: ---
**Author:** ![john\_b\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9a28c/32.png) [@john\_b\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/john_b_2)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/88 "2009-11-14T06:54:36Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > “My wood is gone! It’s all gone!” Tom pined. Or, more suggestively, “My wood is gone!” said Tom, limply.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/89 "2009-11-14T09:32:16Z")
“Heat it in a crucible or something” Tom retorted. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/90 "2009-11-14T16:33:42Z")
“Your cologne is gagging me,” Tom fumed. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/91 "2009-11-14T20:42:53Z")
“I have a lot more thorns and petals than you do”, Tom said morosely. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/92 "2009-11-15T01:19:50Z")
“You may be the ghost of Cleopatra, but you are ugh-lee,” said Tom dispiritedly. “I love improv!” Tom said skittishly. “That soft drink was high carbonated,” Tom remarked abruptly. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/93 "2009-11-15T17:27:14Z")
“I can’t decide whether I want the chowder or the bouillabaise,” Tom stewed. ---
**Author:** ![Mapache](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58956e/32.png) [@Mapache](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mapache)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/94 "2009-11-15T18:25:11Z")
Although I’m a charter member of PETA, I just shot two mallards, said Tom paradoxically. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/95 "2009-11-15T19:06:43Z")
“I really should go ask her to dance,” Tom cut in. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/96 "2009-11-15T23:42:12Z")
“I only drink Chardonnay,” Tom whined. “Only a German would talk like that about the woman who raised him,” Tom muttered. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/97 "2009-11-16T00:32:20Z")
“What a lovely Easter bonnet!” Tom cried gayly. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/98 "2009-11-16T00:46:50Z")
“I’m pretty sure he’s dead,” Tom said stiffly. “Zombies ate my brain,” Tom said vacantly. “I feel A-1 today!” Tom said saucily. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/99 "2009-11-16T01:35:01Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > “What a lovely Easter bonnet!” Tom cried gayly. Oops: that should have been “gaily”. ---
**Author:** ![longPath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bb73d2/32.png) [@longPath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/longPath)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267/100 "2009-11-16T02:28:55Z")
I proffered, in a similar thread some time ago: Ron Howard’s career certainly got an early start, Tom opined. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stand-back-tom-ejaculated-origin-of-the-tom-swifty/334267.md?page=6)