# Standards of male beauty: what are they? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 14, 2013, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243 "2013-02-14T01:04:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/41 "2013-02-14T19:31:20Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > This doesn’t mean that such women are gold-diggers, to the extent that gold-diggers is commonly understood to mean marrying a man to whom she is not attracted, for his money. What it means is that a man having money is itself an attractive quality for many women. I didn’t say that having money is an _un_attractive quality. But money isn’t as important as lonely men would like to pretend it is. Nothing stopping those lonely guys from taking on a second job if they think that will help them out, so it’s completely testable. And that trope is getting elderly; this isn’t the 1950s. Many women are quite capable of taking care of and providing for themselves and earn more money than their partners. Poor, confident, friendly guys get plenty of attention, too. You could set up an anonymous poll or rating system that asks women what features are most attractive in a mate/date/one night stand/husband. If it’s an anonymous poll, women will tell you how important money is. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/42 "2013-02-14T20:35:27Z")
Can any of you ‘plain this thing about male models with stubble as sexy? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/43 "2013-02-14T20:38:58Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Can any of you ‘plain this thing about male models with stubble as sexy? Yeah, it’s the morning after look, kind of like the mussed-hair, smeared “smokey” eyeliner look that women sport when we’re trying to look sexy. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/44 "2013-02-14T21:13:06Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Okay, I could see thinking Angelina Jolie is not especially beautiful for a celebrity. But if she was just some random chick you worked with? Who somehow also managed to have her crew making her look like that every day for work? And then one day she’s like, “Hey **epbrown01** , what’s up for tonight?” You wouldn’t be interested? This is _exactly_ how this conversation goes with guys - we’ve found common ground between men and women! 🙂 You say you don’t like so-and-so, and guys start laying out scenarios and saying “c’mon, you’d hit that.” I can see objectively why people find Ms. Jolie attractive, but since I’ve never found Jon Voight the least bit arousing, I’d have to pass on her hypothetical advances. Actually, the idea’s making me sort of queasy as I write this. I’m not immune to beauty. My response in that scenario to Aisha Tyler would be different. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/45 "2013-02-14T21:28:11Z")
> [@stuyguy](#): > > There are two things that top the list, hands down: 1. decent height, and 2. good shoulders. So that explains it! Wait, no it doesn’t. I’m 6’1" and am built more or less like a somewhat scaled down NFL lineman- big shoulders, big, long arms, wide neck, gut, etc… I wouldn’t call myself unsuccessful with women, but if big shoulders and tall were all it took, I’d be up there with Wilt Chamberlain, and that’s definitely not the case. Personally, I have a theory that women’s physical standards of beauty are more personal and idiosyncratic than those of men, so that’s why there aren’t any celebrity “hot” women who fall too far outside the standard mold, while the men tend to be farther apart in what women find attractive. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/46 "2013-02-14T21:43:10Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Personally, I have a theory that women’s physical standards of beauty are more personal and idiosyncratic than those of men, so that’s why there aren’t any celebrity “hot” women who fall too far outside the standard mold, while the men tend to be farther apart in what women find attractive. Possibly, and I think that is culturally influenced. Because women are “selling” sexy and men are “selling” protection, the specifics of what a man should look like are less well defined. Anyway, as a straight woman, I’ve loved several men I didn’t find attractive, but was never attracted to a man I didn’t love. Happily my husband is the whole package. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/47 "2013-02-14T21:50:45Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > This is _exactly_ how this conversation goes with guys - we’ve found common ground between men and women! 🙂 You say you don’t like so-and-so, and guys start laying out scenarios and saying “c’mon, you’d hit that.” > > I can see objectively why people find Ms. Jolie attractive, but since I’ve never found Jon Voight the least bit arousing, I’d have to pass on her hypothetical advances. Actually, the idea’s making me sort of queasy as I write this. Ha. Poor Angie. And I wouldn’t do Brad either. I guess we’ve just knocked them down a peg, haven’t we? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/48 "2013-02-14T21:58:44Z")
I’m a straight male. I speak from experience when I tell you women need their men to have teeth. I spent most of my teenage years missing a front tooth due to a motorcycle accident. Around 20-21 I finally got a dental implant. When I did, the difference was like night and day. I started to get all kinds of attention from the ladies. It freaked me the hell out. In a pleasant way of course. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/49 "2013-02-14T22:03:35Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I’m a straight male. I speak from experience when I tell you women need their men to have teeth. > > I spent most of my teenage years missing a front tooth due to a motorcycle accident. Around 20-21 I finally got a dental implant. > > When I did, the difference was like night and day. I started to get all kinds of attention from the ladies. It freaked me the hell out. In a pleasant way of course. This made me laugh. A lot. When ya goin’, ladeeth? ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/50 "2013-02-14T22:10:55Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > But money isn’t as important as lonely men would like to pretend it is. That’s possible. I don’t know how important lonely men pretend it is. > [@](#): > > Nothing stopping those lonely guys from taking on a second job if they think that will help them out, so it’s completely testable. This is idiotic. > [@](#): > > And that trope is getting elderly; this isn’t the 1950s. Many women are quite capable of taking care of and providing for themselves and earn more money than their partners. It’s not all women. But it’s a lot. And it’s not a practical consideration that I’m talking about. It’s a feeling. Women who like men with strong arms and shoulders are not thinking that as a practical matter they are going to have to rely on their SO’s brute strength to get them through. But they like the feeling that they can. > [@](#): > > You could set up an anonymous poll or rating system that asks women what features are most attractive in a mate/date/one night stand/husband. If it’s an anonymous poll, women will tell you how important money is. People are not always in touch with their feelings. > [@bump](#): > > So that explains it! > > Wait, no it doesn’t. I’m 6’1" and am built more or less like a somewhat scaled down NFL lineman- big shoulders, big, long arms, wide neck, gut, etc… > > I wouldn’t call myself unsuccessful with women, but if big shoulders and tall were all it took, I’d be up there with Wilt Chamberlain, and that’s definitely not the case. Unfortunately for attractive men, physical attractiveness (in men) is not as big a deal for women as it (in women) is for men. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/51 "2013-02-14T22:18:50Z")
What about the old “meet the parents” trope? You meet her dad to see the kind of guys she’ll like, her mom shows how she’ll age. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/52 "2013-02-14T22:21:05Z")
> [@stuyguy](#): > > I am a very average looking middle-aged man. I have made a lifetime study – granted, only by observation – of the physical characteristics of the guys who attract the most and best-looking (“hottest”) women. There are two things that top the list, hands down: 1. decent height, and 2. good shoulders. Number 1 is actually “great ass” (like a hockey player ass). THIS IS A SCIENCE FACT! Anyway, there was a list above, to wit: > [@](#): > > Pluses, mostly in order : > > - Muscular definition > - Facial beauty (as defined by Hollywood – think Matt Damon or the leads on Supernatural) > - Muscular size > - Hairlessness > - Youth (younger than me, anyway, and I’m mid-forties) > - Humour > - Wit > - Curiosity OK, the last three aren’t physical characteristics and were just included to spare feelings. Also, the list is a little more twink-oriented than my own preferences. Muscularity obviously is always helpful. I might swap size and definition in my own list. Hairlessness is a turn off for me. As for youth, I tend to prefer with 6-8 years of my own age. Although, strictly physically, 22 and up is probably fine. I prefer shorter to taller. Although not freakish short. In general, a mesomorphic is ideal. To extent one deviates, I prefer a bit bulkier (only a bit) to scrawnier. I tend to prefer darker complexions. I don’t care for very pale people. Generally brown hair, blue eyes is a winning combination. I never thought Matt Damon was especially good looking. I prefer more of a Channing Tatum or Tom Hardy or Russell Crowe type. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/53 "2013-02-14T22:22:47Z")
> [@colander](#): > > I couldn’t care less how men look…except for one thing: I can’t take facial hair. The very worst is deliberately shaped and styled facial hair, but really anything more than light stubble turns any potential interest on my part off like a light switch. I can’t explain it. Whereas I’m a pogonophile… I have successfully persuaded several men of my acquaintance into growing beards. The Hobbit was like a porn film to me. Aside from that, I don’t have a list, but I admit I do find guys that are more ‘delicately built’ than me harder to get attracted to. I don’t really want a big muscly guy to protect me, but I don’t want to worry about _breaking_ one. Mostly though, it is just personality. I know a pair of identical twins, and have a pretty big crush on one of them, but the other does nothing at all for me. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/54 "2013-02-14T22:25:00Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > I didn’t say that having money is an _un_attractive quality. But money isn’t as important as lonely men would like to pretend it is. Nothing stopping those lonely guys from taking on a second job if they think that will help them out, so it’s completely testable. Another pot shot at men, bravo ! Keep up the great work. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/55 "2013-02-14T22:32:57Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > Another pot shot at men, bravo ! > > Keep up the great work. 😃 By reassuring men that women aren’t after their money? How do you figure? ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/56 "2013-02-15T03:58:04Z")
For a stare: tall, lean, pale, dark-haired, w/brooding sensitive intelligent face. Also, prominent interesting nose, like John Barrymore. Type: Viggo Mortensen. Who isn’t that tall. Or pale. But whatever. Very few male actors turn my crank in any way. Matt Damon yech. I particularly loathe boyish bouncing confidence (see: brooding, sensitive, above). Physical competence is sexy. Guys who get flustered if you put a wrench or an axe in their hands, not so much. Combo of engine oil and sweat, the best masculine perfume. Just my opinion. forgot to say: big knuckly hands. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/57 "2013-02-15T05:44:16Z")
There’s a couple different levels of male beauty, IMHO. The first level is what is biologically wired into us, and doesn’t differ much from the standard for female beauty: symmetrical, even features; healthy skin and hair; the whites of the eyes should be bright white, etc. Those are the things that trigger the ‘acceptable mating partner’ part of your brain. The next level is all personal preference. For example, I’m a huge metal head and I idolized a lot of metal musicians at an impressionable age. To some extent, this influences my preferences in men: I like long hair, tattoos, that sort of thing. At last, we reach the personality category. If he’s got a horrible personality, or no interests in common with me whatsoever, his appeal will die off in short order. ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/58 "2013-02-15T13:25:11Z")
I once asked Ms. DrumBum what male beauty characteristics I possessed that made her overlook my obvious physical flaws. After the laughter subsided and she had determined that I was reasonably sober, she told me that I was smart, a nice guy, and taller than her. Everything else was just a bonus. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/59 "2013-02-15T14:25:50Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > There’s a couple different levels of male beauty, IMHO. > > The first level is what is biologically wired into us…snipped…The next level is all personal preference. This seems right. I can watch the Olympics all day and admire the beauty, precision, and efficiency of the whole range of athletes, and if I tried I suppose I could fantasize about any or several of them at once. But in reality, though there are lots of men who are conventionally beautiful that I admire, too, I’d be just as happy romping around with a Bert Kreischer, Louis C.K., Damon Wayons Jr (hmmm, apparently I have a thing for comedians known for self-deprecating humor; I’ll deal with issue off-line) And what **KarlGrenze** said. I had conflated real life preferences to fantasies. Those guys who share exacting standards of female perfection aren’t rejecting attributes of actual people, they are whittling down their Fantasy League Girlfriend Team. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/60 "2013-02-15T16:55:43Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Those guys who share exacting standards of female perfection aren’t rejecting attributes of actual people, they are whittling down their Fantasy League Girlfriend Team. This is venturing slightly OT, but I actually think modern media has made life harder for women, in promulgating a much higher standard for physical beauty than would otherwise be possible. You go back a 150 years or so, and the average person was pretty much limited to attractive women they actually encountered in person. Now, the highest standards are based on the most attractive women of the 3.5 billion women in the entire world. Much much harder to measure up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243.md?page=4)