# Standards of male beauty: what are they? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 14, 2013, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243 "2013-02-14T01:04:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/61 "2013-02-15T17:55:54Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > **panache45** , you say such kind and loving things about your partner, he’s lucky to have you. No, if you knew him, you’d understand that I’m the lucky one. And one more thing: I absolutely abhor men with overly-managed eyebrows, especially when they’re pencil-thin. The word “dainty” seems appropriate. I have no idea how so many guys are talked into that look, but the end to that fad can’t come soon enough. A few months ago I saw a man being interviewed on TV. He was a very conservative-looking middle-aged man. But each of his eyebrows was composed of 3 straight lines, like this: /¯¯¯\ WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/62 "2013-02-15T19:18:18Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > This is venturing slightly OT, but I actually think modern media has made life harder for women, in promulgating a much higher standard for physical beauty than would otherwise be possible. > > You go back a 150 years or so, and the average person was pretty much limited to attractive women they actually encountered in person. Now, the highest standards are based on the most attractive women of the 3.5 billion women in the entire world. > > Much much harder to measure up. Yep, we’ve been complaining about this one for a long time. Gets a lot of play when anorexia/bulimia is discussed, too. Not sure who is getting more shortchanged: women who go to extraordinary lengths to emulate beauty standards they can never attain, or men who will be perpetually disappointed that the woman they married doesn’t resemble the genetically gifted, surgically altered, airbrushed beauty in the magazine. We’re in a tough spot; time for both sides to come to a mutual agreement about realistic expectations. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/63 "2013-02-15T19:57:03Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Not sure who is getting more shortchanged: women who go to extraordinary lengths to emulate beauty standards they can never attain, or men who will be perpetually disappointed that the woman they married doesn’t resemble the genetically gifted, surgically altered, airbrushed beauty in the magazine. We’re in a tough spot; time for both sides to come to a mutual agreement about realistic expectations. No such thing as “mutual agreement” here. Or “both sides” FTM. (This mistaken notion that Men and Women are two teams permeates your posts to this and other threads.) Myself, I have more sympathy with women on this particular issue. Any individual man has some degree of control, and if he’s realistic he can try to come to terms with reality and mitigate the issue to some extent. I don’t see what any individual woman can do about it, beyond working harder and harder to match up to an impossible standard. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/64 "2013-02-15T20:07:07Z")
_is extremely shallow_ The guy next door look is very attractive to me. Van from the tv show Reba and Pete on Happy Endings are two examples that I think hit that target. I’m tall, strong and broad. I’ve killed a lot of spiders in my time. I find it very attractive when I meet someone who’ll kill spiders for _me_. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/65 "2013-02-15T20:34:04Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > Myself, I have more sympathy with women on this particular issue. Any individual man has some degree of control, and if he’s realistic he can try to come to terms with reality and mitigate the issue to some extent. I don’t see what any individual woman can do about it, beyond working harder and harder to match up to an impossible standard. I disagree completely. Women have an arsenal of products and techniques that can amp up our beauty. Hair color and style, cosmetics, high heels, exercise, plastic surgery, clothing that flatters… an ugly girl can reach average with ten minutes of hair and make-up and an average girl can reach beautiful with the same effort. But to what end? We all have to age, shower, and wake-up beside the man who thought he took a hot cheerleader to bed but awoke with an unpainted, messy-haired school marm. No matter what effort or expense is involved, few women can compete with the fantasy girl who has the luxury of personal chefs, personal trainers, genetic gifts, perfect lighting, and excellent photographers and editors. But most guys can’t actually land one of those models, so the joke’s on them because ultimately they can spend hours fantasizing about the perfect girl; but they wake up next to the average girl. Because they, too, are average. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/66 "2013-02-16T05:41:18Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > I could just post a picture of myself… [We’ve been working on it.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=539257) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/67 "2013-02-16T19:37:30Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > By reassuring men that women aren’t after their money? How do you figure? I’ve met a few women who were clearly after my money. It isn’t subtle. They’ve all been lower income women, or at least what I’d consider low income. I like to imagine that money is so tight it’d be a big relief for them, but maybe they’re just really greedy. It’s certainly not all lower income women I’ve met, but my point is there’ve been a few and they’re quite obvious. Women I’ve actually dated have been completely different. Sure it’s part of why they’re attracted to me, but my career is important to me. I wouldn’t want to date someone who didn’t care at all about something I worked hard to achieve and was proud of. And frankly, one of my biggest turn ons is a woman with an advanced degree and/or impressive career of her own. And I certainly am not after her money. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/68 "2013-02-16T20:25:36Z")
Granted people are different and I think people are attracted on a whole host of levels (what they like as a generic member of their gender, what they like due to their personal tastes, what they like due to cultural influences, personal hangups, what they like based on a realistic assessment of their options, etc). But it was my understanding that generically women whose waists are 70% the size of their hips and chests are the most attractive while men whose waists are \<75% the size of their shoulders are the most physically attractive (50" shoulders, 36" waist as an example). Size itself isn’t as important as ratios. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/69 "2013-02-16T20:27:18Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > I’ve met a few women who were clearly after my money. It isn’t subtle. They’ve all been lower income women, or at least what I’d consider low income. And I’ve met men who were clearly after my money. An interest in financial security isn’t a sex-linked trait. > [@the\_diego](#): > > Don’t look, test him. It’s either his money or his brute strength. > [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > The female attraction to money is similar to the female attraction to physical strength (e.g. the muscular arms and shoulders that others have mentioned upthread). > > Many women appreciate a man who can “protect” or “take care of” them. Physical strength is one aspect of taking care of them. Providing is another. > > This doesn’t mean that such women are gold-diggers, to the extent that gold-diggers is commonly understood to mean marrying a man to whom she is not attracted, for his money. What it means is that a man having money is itself an attractive quality for many women. When this comes up, where are all the guys who complain that the women they desire are dating job-hopping, unreliable jerks and that nice guys with a steady income like them can’t land a date? So which is it? Do women go after the man with the most money, or the perpetually unemployed man-child? Because this argument changes to suit the complainant. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/70 "2013-02-16T20:55:18Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > When this comes up, where are all the guys who complain that the women they desire are dating job-hopping, unreliable jerks and that nice guys with a steady income like them can’t land a date? So which is it? Do women go after the man with the most money, or the perpetually unemployed man-child? Because this argument changes to suit the complainant. Just my observation: It’s both. Some (young) women mistake a guy’s no-money-have’n jerky behaviour as “Passion”. It makes the woman think “My relationship is complex and has significance” Then there are the rich guys who just shower their women with money. Both of these are attractive to a naive woman. Those middle of the road guys. The self proclaimed “nice” guys. Well, let’s be honest here. They’re just fucking boring. Sure, they wont take you for granted, they’ll appreciate you, give you attention and wont cheat on you. But none of that means shit because they are boring. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/71 "2013-02-16T21:07:14Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Just my observation: It’s both. Some (young) women mistake a guy’s no-money-have’n jerky behaviour as “Passion”. It makes the woman think “My relationship is complex and has significance” > > Then there are the rich guys who just shower their women with money. > > Both of these are attractive to a naive woman. > > Those middle of the road guys. The self proclaimed “nice” guys. Well, let’s be honest here. They’re just fucking boring. Sure, they wont take you for granted, they’ll appreciate you, give you attention and wont cheat on you. > > But none of that means shit because they are boring. There’s truth here. But IMO the problem with “nice” guys isn’t that they are boring or lack passion. It’s the years spent standing in judgement of others that leads to their sense of entitlement and contempt for women. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/72 "2013-02-16T22:12:08Z")
BTW, the money thing is a hijack, if the OP is looking mainly for physical attributes in males, just like men judge many models or other females by their physical appearance. As far as my experience goes, I’ve yet seen a man grow $100 bills on his beard, have diamond stubble, or piss golden coins… ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/73 "2013-02-16T22:17:40Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > There’s truth here. But IMO the problem with “nice” guys isn’t that they are boring or lack passion. It’s the years spent standing in judgement of others that leads to their sense of entitlement and contempt for women. Yep, they got that going for them too. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/74 "2013-02-16T22:18:52Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > s.Unfortunately for attractive men, physical attractiveness (in men) is not as big a deal for women as it (in women) is for men. But very fortunately for less attractive men. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/75 "2013-02-16T23:20:52Z")
> [@KarlGrenze](#): > > BTW, the money thing is a hijack, if the OP is looking mainly for physical attributes in males, just like men judge many models or other females by their physical appearance. > > As far as my experience goes, I’ve yet seen a man grow $100 bills on his beard, have diamond stubble, or piss golden coins… Yeah, it’s a hijack, but in every relationship/dating thread at least one guy claims that women are only after money, and I didn’t see a good reason to let that bs go unchallenged. I understand Bill Gates has a few dollars but I’ve never seen any woman describe him as a sex symbol, but that won’t stop your average nerd from accusing women of being gold-diggers. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243/76 "2013-02-17T00:27:53Z")
The comment was less directed at you, and more at the men (who I’m guessing are not attracted to men) who insist. Brings bad flashbacks of other threads… 😉 In the cohort of women that I know, family and friends, money is not the big thing. Youthfulness, symmetry, and whatever their personal standards are, are far ahead than any other financial considerations. At least when you’re talking about physical attractiveness in guys. I know when my mom, aunt, and/or sister tell me “OMG, that guy passing by is so good looking!”, there first thought is NOT “OMG, he HAS THE MONEY$$$”. That said, it is also in my experience that men have a far greater range of attractiveness, at least by defined by the media, than women. IIRC, there was an article the other day mentioning how some character in the Girls TV show was paired with a “classically attractive” guy (when the actress is not “classically attractive”). The comments by some of the women, and my thoughts too, were “Wait, since when is THAT actor considered attractive?”… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/standards-of-male-beauty-what-are-they/650243.md?page=3)