# Stanky Raccoon- Request Advice **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 16, 2018, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220 "2018-06-16T20:34:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![LordHarry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@LordHarry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordHarry)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/1 "2018-06-16T20:34:17Z")
I live in NY State. I live on a small road (sort of an access road) that runs parallel to the large main road. Approximately 25 ft from my house, on the edge of the small grass strip dividing my road from the main road, lies a dead raccoon. In life, this raccoon was quite the magnificent beast- a full, plump, large specimen. Near schnauzer-size. In death the raccoon has become a schnauzer-size blimp of rotting gas. After at least 2 days, it is near-circular, save for the paws and head. Think Violet Beauragard in Willie Wonka. It reeks. It is so rank, in fact, that I can smell it in my home office at the back of my house. This is a full 100+ feet from the animal, and a few rooms (and therefore, walls) dividing us. I went to collect my mail and nearly vomited. In short, I have some powerful rank raccoon stank that needs fixing. I called the police. They said, by law, that animal control cannot touch raccoons (sound suspicious). DOT apparently no longer does animal pickup for anything smaller than a deer. The police sure as fuck won’t do it. They stated, and I quote, “We always hope a homeowner decides to do it.” I am not going to risk raccoon innard explosion, near or on me. However, it is 85 today and near that tomorrow. Any ideas? Are there animal services one can pay? I would pay $50 for raccoon retrieval. Can vultures be lured somehow? In the movies, people dissolve bodies with lye. Is this a thing I could somehow buy and dump on the raccoon? Please advise. ---
**Author:** ![CharmaChameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@CharmaChameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CharmaChameleon)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/2 "2018-06-16T20:43:58Z")
If you know some farmers, they probably deal with this kind of thing all the time… ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/3 "2018-06-16T20:53:03Z")
Maybe shoot it or run over it, and then leave for a few hours? Wouldn’t the fragrance decrease once the gases are released? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/4 "2018-06-16T20:54:52Z")
> [@LordHarry](#): > > Can vultures be lured somehow? Turkey vultures can smell carrion from long distances. However, it is possible for a carcass to be so rank that even a vulture won’t be attracted to it. If the smell hasn’t drawn them in yet, there’s probably nothing more you can do to attract them. > [@](#): > > In the movies, people dissolve bodies with lye. Is this a thing I could somehow buy and dump on the raccoon? Drano and other commercial drain cleaners contain lye (sodium hydroxide, NaOH). You would probably need a bucket of it, and in any case it would be bad for the environment and more hazardous than an exploding raccoon. (Of course, you could go all _Breaking Bad_ and try hydrofluoric acid…\*) Personally, if you couldn’t get someone to come pick it up I would dig a deep hole and bury it. If you are afraid of it exploding throw a tarp over it before dragging it to the hole. \*I know _Mythbusters_ showed this wouldn’t actually work. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/5 "2018-06-16T20:56:41Z")
Here’s [a site](http://www.aaanimalcontrol.com/dead-animal-disposal.html) that promises experts that remove dead animal carcasses. I can’t testify as to their performance. They also include some suggestions on do-it-yourself methods, such as burial. They also suggest contacting your trash pick up organization to see if they will pick it up. You could also call a local vet for suggestions. They have to dispose of animals all the time and may have other options or services that could work. ETA: Do not run over it. The smell will linger on your car forever. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/6 "2018-06-16T20:59:15Z")
Dump dirt over it? ---
**Author:** ![LordHarry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@LordHarry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordHarry)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/7 "2018-06-16T21:00:46Z")
> [@P-man](#): > > Maybe shoot it or run over it, and then leave for a few hours? Wouldn’t the fragrance decrease once the gases are released? OH HELL NO. One, I do not own a gun. Two, pretty sure that discharging a gun in a very populated suburb, on a busy main street, even into an already dead animal, is probably illegal. This is not a halloween pumpkin, bro. This is a full-on mammal corpse. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/8 "2018-06-16T21:02:35Z")
I realized why running over it wouldn’t be a good idea right after I posted. I helped dispose of dead cows as a kid, but they hadn’t ballooned up like that. I agree with throwing a tarp over it and burying it. ---
**Author:** ![LordHarry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@LordHarry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordHarry)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/9 "2018-06-16T21:03:08Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > Here’s [a site](http://www.aaanimalcontrol.com/dead-animal-disposal.html) that promises experts that remove dead animal carcasses. I can’t testify as to their performance. They also include some suggestions on do-it-yourself methods, such as burial. They also suggest contacting your trash pick up organization to see if they will pick it up. > > You could also call a local vet for suggestions. They have to dispose of animals all the time and may have other options or services that could work. > > ETA: Do not run over it. The smell will linger on your car forever. I do have a firepit, but burning raccoon is not my best idea. I can try and call around. Local sanitation companies and state will not touch it. Rabies, disease, not their problem, etc. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/10 "2018-06-16T21:07:18Z")
There’s little you can do except: 1. Wait for it to decay (a few days to a few weeks). The maggots will eat a lot of it. 2. Put on nose plugs and a face mask and bury it. Even a few inches of dirt will help a lot. 3. Throw a lasso around it and drag it somewhere where is will be someone else’s problem. FWIW, I had a raccoon get stuck and die under my riding lawnmower (it was not running at the time). By the time I figured out where the godawful stench was coming from, it was little more than a ball of maggots. Extricating that mess from the lawnmower was not fun in any way. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/11 "2018-06-16T21:29:51Z")
Garden lime and burial is your only hope. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/12 "2018-06-16T21:43:16Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > By the time I figured out where the godawful stench was coming from, it was little more than a ball of maggots. Extricating that mess from the lawnmower was not fun in any way. I can think of a fun way. _VROOM_ _VROOM_ ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/13 "2018-06-16T21:43:36Z")
I’ve dealt with similar circumstances a number of times, living on rural land with livestock and wild animal deaths that occur on and around my place. You’re in the worst stage. In high summer with soaring temperatures such as you describe, the good news is that the carcass will be substantially, uhh, eliminated within a couple of weeks. Nature will take its course. Things that will help: A smear of Vicks Vaporub directly under your nostrils will disguise the stench somewhat. You may find it useful if you decide to implement my second suggestion, which is to purchase a bag of powdered lime (calcium hydroxide) and use it liberally to cover the carcass. (Don’t let it come in contact with your skin. Use gloves and a scoop, wear long sleeves, and take a shower after you’re done.) Lime will hasten the decomposition process and dampen the odor somewhat. Then just wait it out. Good luck. ETA: Ninja’d by **Beckdawrek**. Good advice with the advantage of brevity. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/14 "2018-06-16T21:54:18Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > I’ve dealt with similar circumstances a number of times, living on rural land with livestock and wild animal deaths that occur on and around my place. > > You’re in the worst stage. In high summer with soaring temperatures such as you describe, the good news is that the carcass will be substantially, uhh, eliminated within a couple of weeks. Nature will take its course. > > Things that will help: A smear of Vicks Vaporub directly under your nostrils will disguise the stench somewhat. You may find it useful if you decide to implement my second suggestion, which is to purchase a bag of powdered lime (calcium hydroxide) and use it liberally to cover the carcass. (Don’t let it come in contact with your skin. Use gloves and a scoop, wear long sleeves, and take a shower after you’re done.) Lime will hasten the decomposition process and dampen the odor somewhat. > > Then just wait it out. Good luck. > > ETA: Ninja’d by **Beckdawrek**. Good advice with the advantage of brevity. Rural peeps know these things. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/15 "2018-06-16T22:04:07Z")
I once had to help my dad bury a groundhog that had crawled under our front porch and died. (We had to lay on our bellies to do this.) Reading the OP, I swear I could smell that smell all over again, and that was easily 60 years ago. Good luck. The Vicks is a good idea, and I imagine the lime would be too. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/16 "2018-06-16T22:31:07Z")
It sounds from your OP that you only contacted the police. Did you try contacting animal control directly? If they are a separate entity in your county, rather than part of law enforcement, they may have a different view from the police. In my county (in California) this is squarely the responsibility of animal control. Otherwise, and with no experience to back me up, I think the “tarp it, bury it, add garden lime” folks. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/17 "2018-06-16T22:36:31Z")
> [@LordHarry](#): > > I would pay $50 for raccoon retrieval. For $50 you can probably find someone on craigslist. ---
**Author:** ![LordHarry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@LordHarry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordHarry)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/18 "2018-06-16T23:19:57Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > It sounds from your OP that you only contacted the police. Did you try contacting animal control directly? If they are a separate entity in your county, rather than part of law enforcement, they may have a different view from the police. In my county (in California) this is squarely the responsibility of animal control. > > Otherwise, and with no experience to back me up, I think the “tarp it, bury it, add garden lime” folks. Police report animal control cannot legally touch raccoons :dubious:. Animal control not answering phone on weekend. This, unfortunately, isn’t a rural area. It’s a suburb. So many of the suggestions would involve disrupting or being involved in traffic moving ~50 mph. I’m thinking of contacting local legislators, because there are many dead bodies down this strip of road, I noticed. I am now hiding in local Panera bread. UPDATE: Raccoon now has tiger stripes of ?beetles? ?bugs? ?carcass crabs? on it. I hope it bursts whilst I am away. While worse temporarily, if burst, I believe smell would lessen and meat would spread, hopefully dessicating. This is the worst convo I have ever had online. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/19 "2018-06-16T23:55:13Z")
Can you drive a spiked funnel into it and then throw a match at it? Get your own eternal flame monument going on? ---
**Author:** ![Sveltington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@Sveltington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sveltington)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2018, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220/20 "2018-06-17T00:49:22Z")
I live in a rural small town in CT. Our public works dept\* remove dead animals. They even removed a deer that crawled into my yard after it was hit. The same people who plow the local roads. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanky-raccoon-request-advice/816220.md?page=2)