# Stanton Survey: You're a master thief, you just didn't know it **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2007, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanton-survey-youre-a-master-thief-you-just-didnt-know-it/418007 "2007-09-04T15:57:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fox\_Frenzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/54ee81/32.png) [@Fox\_Frenzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_Frenzy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanton-survey-youre-a-master-thief-you-just-didnt-know-it/418007/1 "2007-09-04T15:57:04Z")
Anyone ever apply for a job and you’re asked things like: Most People are Dishonest Strongly Disagree Disagree Agree Strongly Agree Everyone has stolen something in their life, no matter how small: Strongly Disagree Disagree Agree Strongly Agree And it goes on and on… How the hell do you answer these mostly vague and incomprehensible questions? How am I supposed to know how many people are dishonest? What’s the right freakin’ answer? Do they ‘want’ you to be honest, or are we just combating a computer on a points scale and no hyooman really sees your answers until you shoot six people and then steal 60 bucks to cover the cost of the bullets you just used. I hate these tests and I think they unfairly jeapordize even an honest person’s qualification to work because they’re so poorly clarified and you have to make a definitive response to such vague questions. Yeah, I stole. A pack of bubblegum when I was 3 because I reached out from the cart, grabbed it, and stuck it in my pocket. Does that make me a hardened criminal? Should I answer (I strongly agree to stealing less than 5 dollars in my lifetime)? ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanton-survey-youre-a-master-thief-you-just-didnt-know-it/418007/2 "2007-09-04T19:23:21Z")
I filled out an online application for a part-time job at the local Borders and had to answer a long series of similar questions (some of which I swear were repeated in various forms on different pages). I have yet to be called in for an interview, and I have no idea whether they just received so many applications that they never got to mine, or they didn’t consider me because I don’t really have any retail experience (30 years of shuffling paper for the feds doesn’t really translate into any usable job skills anyway), or whether my responses to this questionnaire indicate that I’m secretly a Master Thief or Serial Killer. ---
**Author:** ![Fox\_Frenzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/54ee81/32.png) [@Fox\_Frenzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_Frenzy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanton-survey-youre-a-master-thief-you-just-didnt-know-it/418007/3 "2007-09-04T22:27:38Z")
There’s no doubt about it. Internet Resources state the following: [www.secure-point.net](http://www.secure-point.net) says: STANTON SURVEY Assessment A cost-effective, fully validated screening tool that focuses on prospective employees’ attitude toward: Work Related Theft Theft Outside the Workplace Company Policy Violations Applicants who score high are responsible, self-disciplined, conscientious, self-controlled and compliant. Applicants who score low are easily distracted, unpredictable, impulsive, unable to delay gratification, rebellious and non-conforming. Available in English and Spanish. The Stanton Survey’s choices of administration and retrieval of applicant results are: Paper and Pencil booklet scored through the National Analysis Center via a toll-free number Also available in French. Faxed to a toll free-number for scoring; results immediately faxed back Computer Interactive; computer generated results immediately available Telephonic; telephonic results immediately available ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2007, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanton-survey-youre-a-master-thief-you-just-didnt-know-it/418007/4 "2007-09-04T23:59:44Z")
The way I understand these tests to work is that they are looking for consistency along with an unnatural loyalty to your employer. They list the same question in different wording 10 times to see if you answer it the same way every time. The best way to approach said test to get the job you applied for is simple. You just tell them what you know they want to hear and you never pick an answer other than strongly agree or strongly disagree. Yes, of course you would sentence a coworker who got caught stealing to death by hanging! You would never under any circumstances do anything in your private life that might make the company look bad! You have no soul or personality and you would not ever dare to develop one during the course of your employment! You were, in fact, born to work for X corporation! You looooove wearing blue vests and orthopedic shoes! You would never disagree with management, especially in front of a customer! Blah, blah…I’m sure you figured it out by now. ---
**Author:** ![Fox\_Frenzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/54ee81/32.png) [@Fox\_Frenzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_Frenzy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanton-survey-youre-a-master-thief-you-just-didnt-know-it/418007/5 "2007-09-05T00:06:31Z")
Yes, but, in that regard, an employer is going to know when a person is full of shit. I mean, how many criminals do you know that are going to go; Stealing makes you hard. STRONGLY AGREE!!! If we’re going up against a computer that scores us, I can understand that. But if an actual person were reviewing these, they must either think this applicantant was raised on sunshine and puppies, or is so full of his own crap he sneezes shit! And there are simply some questions you can’t figure out how to answer; Most people steal things. I’d agree with that. Most people ‘do’ steal things. Whether it’s just some office supplies like a pen they walk out with all the way down to grand-theft, most people ‘do’ steal things. Answering Strongly Disagree just makes me feel ignorant and answering Strongly Agree would either make me look like I’m among those that steal or I’m some kinda vigilanty who’ll crush all those that try to steal. I mean…how the hell could you answer this question if you were applying for a Security or Loss Prevention job? ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanton-survey-youre-a-master-thief-you-just-didnt-know-it/418007/7 "2013-05-03T10:42:57Z")
Spam reported. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanton-survey-youre-a-master-thief-you-just-didnt-know-it/418007/8 "2013-05-03T10:44:15Z")
Spam report- oh dear, ninjaed. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stanton-survey-youre-a-master-thief-you-just-didnt-know-it/418007/9 "2013-05-03T11:18:32Z")
Random word-association spam, no less. Like playing Pictionary with a blind dog.