# Star Trek and Enterprise songs by Dopers (since neithe Viva nor Kn\*ckers is doing it) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 22, 2003, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250 "2003-03-22T01:25:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/61 "2003-03-27T01:31:06Z")
Hey Trek Dopers, Give us some ideas to work on if you don’t want to do a song yourself. Maybe we can flesh something out. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/62 "2003-03-27T02:00:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Hey Trek Dopers, > > Give us some ideas to work on if you don’t want to do a song yourself. Maybe we can flesh something out. \*\* * * * Of course you’d want to “FLESH” it out, Panda-lover. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/63 "2003-03-27T02:08:20Z")
Did you know? I found out we have a Doper named **Goo**. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/64 "2003-03-27T05:27:30Z")
I’m quite sure I told you about that Doper in some previous thread, like, you know, a few weeks ago. Anyhoo, shall we be expecting a visit from this **Goo**? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/65 "2003-03-27T06:43:35Z")
I get visited nightly by **Goo** in my pandalicious dreams. TMI? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/66 "2003-03-27T06:50:50Z")
Not Too Much for me. [hitches up pants, nods knowingly, narrows eyes] Yes, sonny, I’ve been around for a while now. It’s getting pretty hard for this old world to shock this little gal anymore. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/67 "2003-03-27T06:54:40Z")
So you’re fine with the decon dream with me, you, and **Kn\*ckers** then? ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/68 "2003-03-27T13:09:46Z")
I’m cool with that, as long as there’s no Porthos… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/69 "2003-03-27T13:11:45Z")
Haven’t you heard? **Viva** killed Porthos in another thread. Once you go dead puppy, you’ll never go back. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/70 "2003-03-27T19:25:36Z")
Damn, **NCB** every time I think I’m creepier than you are, you up the ante. I just can’t beat beastial necrophilia. Or did you not mean it that way? Because if you didn’t, then I win! Shoot, phone’s ringing. You’d think I had a job to do, or somethin’. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/71 "2003-03-27T23:01:33Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > \*\*I’m cool with that, as long as there’s no Porthos… \*\* * * * I, too, have no problem with _menage a Doper_ scenarios. 😉 It is all EnCeeBee’s doing, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/72 "2003-03-27T23:24:42Z")
Man, we must be the dirtiest bunch of sci-fi dweebs on earth. It’s sad, really. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/73 "2003-03-27T23:30:34Z")
Hey, Girls! I found me a real squishy dead puppy! Wanna roll around in something really smelly? * * * Is it Friday yet? * * * Why is **Carniverousplant** such a dweeb? He actually _likes_ DS-9’s mirror episodes! I must write a song about that. Be back soonish… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/74 "2003-03-27T23:34:23Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > \*\*Damn, **NCB** every time I think up the ante, I just beat beastial necrophilia. > \>\>CREATIVELY SNIPPED\<\< > \*\* :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/75 "2003-03-27T23:37:49Z")
I will not dignify that with a response. Oh, shit - I just did. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/76 "2003-03-28T07:33:32Z")
Okay, here’s a dumb little one I threw together. Minor spoilers in this post. Just warning you. “Non-Emotion” to the tune of “Loco-motion” by Kylie Minogue [[original lyrics](http://www.spynets.net/lyrics_details.php?ID=2081) | [MIDI - Good but takes 25 seconds to get started](http://bennieshepherd.com/Locomotion.mid) (from [here](http://bennieshepherd.com/pop-j-z.htm)) ] My father was a Vulcan and I follow the custom. (Come on baby, do the non-emotion.) You humans have emotions, and that’s sure to disgust 'em. (Come on baby, do the non-emotion.) Destroy all of your feelings with the Kolinahr. Just try to keep your distance when I go through Pon Farr. So come on, come on, lose all your emotion with me. You gotta raise your eyebrow. Come on baby, look blank, don’t smile. Oh well I think this’ll take a while. Oh… Your happiness and sadness both require a purgin’. (Come on baby. Show logic devotion.) My dourness will irritate the crankiest surgeon. (Come on baby. Show logic devotion.) There’s not much of a chance that I’ll go and have fun. The odds are fourteen thousand, sixty-seven to one. So come on, come on, lose all your emotion with me. You gotta dress in robes now. Come on baby, prosper, live long. Oh well with that you can’t go wrong. Oh… Your thoughts must come from logic if you’re gonna have any. (Come on baby, lose all your emotion.) Conclude that what’s good for the one is trumped by the many. (Come on baby, lose all your emotion.) I’ll always be your friend, if you’re a friend to me. Just resurrect me from the dead in _Star Trek III_. So come on, come on, lose all your emotion with me! You gotta live for logic. (Come on baby, do the non-emotion) (Come on baby, do the non-emotion) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/77 "2003-03-28T13:58:07Z")
🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/78 "2003-03-28T18:01:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\* > I, too, have no problem with _menage a Doper_ scenarios. > 😉 > > It is all EnCeeBee’s doing, of course. \*\* If that’s in reference to what I think it is, great memory… I wasn’t even a Trek Doper then. _sniff_ The memories… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/79 "2003-03-31T04:41:44Z")
(To the tune of Rush’s _Subdivisions_) \ ***Assimilated** Sprawling on the fringes of the galaxy In geometric order A biometric border In between the Hive Queen And the freedom that you once had known Becoming one with others seems so over rated You’ll be assimilated Until the Borg are sated Individuals are hated In the mass of mindless drones Nowhere is there a life form left alone (Assimilated) In your planet’s skies We have a thousand eyes RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! Even out in space We consume your race RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! No escape is there for the mindless drones The only thing that leaves the cube are your dead bones Nanoprobes drift into our bloodstream DNA restructured Neuro paths are ruptured Embedded in the system We are now a small part of the greater whole Some will sell their race for certain favors But they don’t realize The Borg Queen’s telling lies They’re just like Locutus By the time they see her tricks Their thoughts have been reassigned to Unimatrix (Assimilated) In your planet’s skies We have a thousand eyes RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! Even out in space We consume your race RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! No escape is there for the mindless drones The only thing that leaves the cube are your dead bones\* ---
**Author:** ![Egor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6de8d8/32.png) [@Egor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Egor)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250/80 "2003-04-01T22:15:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Hey Trek Dopers, > > Give us some ideas to work on if you don’t want to do a song yourself. Maybe we can flesh something out. \*\* Based on > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Aesiron_ > Not really… my hands are cold and I ain’t a Trill. How’s about BB King on DS9… “The Trill is gone”? * * * Many thnacks to all for the kind words. I’ll do (virtually) anything for a pecan cookie! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-and-enterprise-songs-by-dopers-since-neithe-viva-nor-kn-ckers-is-doing-it/163250.md?page=5)