# Star Trek characters at a singles bar **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 22, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730 "2003-05-22T03:16:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/1 "2003-05-22T03:16:55Z")
I was just chatting with another Doper in instant messages, and mentioning the Enterprise Season Finale, which he didn’t see. I was explaining how this “Expanse” place was described by Vulcans as a place where there were lots of hostile species and strange goings on. He replied: “Sounds like a singles bar.” Monstre: “Vulcans at a singles bar? :::snicker:::” Then suddenly we were coming up with Vulcan pick up lines… 😉 - “Pardon me, but do you frequent this establishment on a regularly scheduled basis?” - “The Vulcan Science Directorate has determined that that position is not possible.” - “You’ve seen the neck pinch. But let me show you my other Vulcan pinch!” Of course, we don’t have to be restricted to Vulcans. So, what pickup lines would you hear Star Trek characters or species using in a singles bar? ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/2 "2003-05-22T03:19:28Z")
Q: “Hey cutie, what’s your sign?” A: “Astrology is not logical.” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/3 "2003-05-22T03:43:31Z")
We are Borg. Let’s get naked. Flirting is irrelevant. If i said you had a beautiful flgmtreex would you hold it against me? If you knew oomox like I know oomox Do you know the Prime Directive? Then you know _my_ prime directive. So… is everything blue? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/4 "2003-05-22T08:24:02Z")
“Can I get your holovid number?” “Only if you were the last Klingon on Kronos.” “Well, I better get started, then. See you next week?” ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/5 "2003-05-22T09:30:04Z")
\ “What level are _you_ on?” ---
**Author:** ![Obvious\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Obvious\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obvious_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/6 "2003-05-22T10:24:13Z")
Vulcan:You know…our ears are not the only thing pointed. \ Care to see? Andorians:Ohhhh the things my antenna could do to you. Borg:You will be stimulated… resistance is futile. Klingon:Come…and let us mate like two targh’s under the mid day sun. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/7 "2003-05-22T10:50:31Z")
Let me show you… _The Picard Manouver_. [size=1]I can’t believe I posted that[/i[ ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/8 "2003-05-22T11:34:02Z")
My tricorder is set on “vibrate.” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/9 "2003-05-22T14:31:27Z")
I’ve got ten million little photon torpedos that want to penetrate your hull, baby. Betazoid: I _know_ you want me. Data to a Mudd’s android: I am afraid that my 220-volt is not compatible with your 110-volt. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/10 "2003-05-22T15:49:49Z")
I. Am captain James T… Kirk! of the! … starship. Enterprise! Baby! ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/11 "2003-05-22T15:54:23Z")
> [@](#): > > from _Shade_ > Let me show you… The Picard Manouver. Good one!! 🙂 * * * Klingon: “Go out with me, or I will send you to Sto-Vo-Kor!” Tribble: _cough_ ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/12 "2003-05-22T16:09:29Z")
**NoClueBoy** : “Hey, baby. Where’s your pants?” **Kn(\*)ckers**: “I don’t know!” * * * ## **Carniverousplant** : “Busy, Bee?” ## **Aesiron** : “Oh please please please please please please please…” ## **Vivalostwages** : “Want some extra credit?” ## **Tracer** : " I just bought a new DVD. Want to come back to my place and get ‘caught up’ on the season?" **Montre** : “AARRRGGHHH!!!” * * * **Wearia** : “WOW! You can do that?!” * * * **Tars Tarkas** : “Guess what else I Ihave four of?” * * * I’ll think of more later. ;j ---
**Author:** ![Nangleator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e19adc/32.png) [@Nangleator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nangleator)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/13 "2003-05-22T16:18:54Z")
_slap_ “I’m a doctor, not a pick-up artist, damn it!” “Me balls! Thi’re goin’ all blue! Thiy kinna take any more, baby!” “Wanna bump tribbles?” “I calculate a 97.32% chance that our mating would produce a viable fetus with an admirable constitution and extraordinarily aesthetic physical attributes. In addition, the procreative acts necessary to the impregnation of your ova will take an unusually lengthy time and would produce most agreeable sensations.” “My olfactory sensors have detected a recent increase in the production of vaginal mucous, concurrent with increased respiration and heart rate. I can surmise, therefore, that you are ‘_hot_’ for me. As I am currently investigating human sexuality, perhaps you can show me this thing called ‘around the world.’” “Hey, captain. Is that a doomsday device in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?” _sets mammaries to ‘stun’_ “You know, this visor lets me see through clothes.” “I need your pussyon field emissions to reverse the polarity of my subcock matrix deflector, baby!” ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/14 "2003-05-22T16:35:31Z")
[Kirk] Wanna see the _Captain’s Log?_ [/Kirk] :o ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/15 "2003-05-22T16:48:37Z")
T’Pol: … and in the event of an emergency, yes they **can** be used as flotation devices… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/16 "2003-05-22T17:53:10Z")
“It’s dead, Jim.” ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/17 "2003-05-22T18:32:27Z")
Crewman Daniels: We WILL get it on. Travis: ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/18 "2003-05-22T19:32:28Z")
Worf… You are NOT behaving with honor. I like it that way! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/19 "2003-05-22T19:38:08Z")
> [@](#): > > So… is everything blue? 🙂 To rephrase: “So, baby, does the bridge match the nacelles?” Worf: “Today is a good day to get it on.” Kirk/Riker: “Say, you look like you’ve got a pulse…” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/20 "2003-05-22T19:41:32Z")
Tripp: “Do me. I don’t care about any consequences. Just do me, you alien sex machine!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730.md?page=2)