# Star Trek characters at a singles bar **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 22, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730 "2003-05-22T03:16:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/41 "2003-05-23T14:14:04Z")
Are you male or female? Whoa! Your looks are set on stun-ing! ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/42 "2003-05-23T14:40:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\*A Tamarian: “Sokath, his eyes uncovered. Clinton and Lewinsky, at the White House.” \*\* **Monstre** : Edison and the Light Bulb. Me: Grandpa at the home, with Depends. ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/43 "2003-05-23T14:48:06Z")
“Wanna take a look at my plasma injectors?” “I got 1 billion nanoprobes with YOUR name on it.” ---
**Author:** ![Nangleator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e19adc/32.png) [@Nangleator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nangleator)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/44 "2003-05-23T14:49:18Z")
Monstre, with the really good idea. * * * Kirk to Uhura: Lovelace, with the deep throat. Uhura to Kirk: Fuck with the go yourself. Jack, hitting the road. Kirk (alone): Chaka, when the walls fell. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/45 "2003-05-23T15:49:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kasuo \* > \*\*“I got 1 billion nanoprobes with YOUR name on it.” \*\* “Then I hope you brought along a latex containment field.” ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/46 "2003-05-23T15:59:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nangleator \* > **Kirk to Uhura: Lovelace, with the deep throat.** Should be: Lovelace and Reems, in Deep Throat. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/47 "2003-05-23T17:33:21Z")
Kirk: “Hey Uhura- you’ve already got something long and hard in your EAR…” ---
**Author:** ![BornOfStardust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@BornOfStardust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornOfStardust)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/48 "2003-05-23T17:56:18Z")
“My forehead is not the only thing that is ridged!” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/49 "2003-05-23T18:16:25Z")
Hey, you!!! 😃 😃 😃 😃 😃 😃 Welcome to another message board. 😉 The following are from my younger brother, who you will see is much too into Star Trek. Tellarite Lover: “Hey baby, wanna roll in the mud with me?” Elaan of Troyius: “Hey, wanna go where every man has gone before?” Kirk: “Would you like to cross into my parallel universe?” Kes: “Wanna see something as wide as the Horsehead Nebula?” Bashir: “How far down do those spots go?” Kirk: “In space, no one can hear you scream.” Guinan: “Any of you boys got a thing for…older women?” Sisko: “Release docking clamps! Prepare to disengage!” Worf: “Wanna see me lift my bat’leh without my hands?” Guardian of Forever: “Let’s do the time warp again!” He came up with all that in about 5 minutes. 😛 I would add- Packleds: “We need sex toys. Sex toys to make go.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/50 "2003-05-23T18:22:23Z")
Oh, he adds another that I missed: “So Scotty, I heard you were a miracle worker…” ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/51 "2003-05-23T22:31:26Z")
“Set phasers on love!” ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/52 "2003-05-24T07:39:12Z")
“I’d love to show you my plasma conduits.” “Just you, me, and the Cogenitor makes three.” And, uh, Hi, **Manatee**. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/53 "2003-05-24T07:45:14Z")
“I really want to inspect your Jeffries tubes!” “Did you know your left warp nacelle is bigger than your right one?” Dr. Bashir: “I’m genetically engineered to be the perfect lover, you know…” Gul Madred: “I don’t want to brag, but I know forty-three different ways to wring a full confession out of a Maquis. Wanna try some?” Weyoun: “You know, these ears _are_ proportional to…other things.” ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/54 "2003-05-24T15:30:33Z")
Heck, you could put on a pair of plastic pointy-ears and say, “Hey, baby, I’ve got the 7-year itch!” ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/55 "2003-05-26T02:18:23Z")
“Why yes, this **is** a bat’leth in my pocket. But I’m also happy to see you.” ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/56 "2003-05-26T06:23:31Z")
My engines **can** take it! ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/57 "2003-05-26T06:39:57Z")
From the Horta in the corner: “Love I” ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/58 "2003-05-26T06:41:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*“I’d love to show you my plasma conduits.” > > “Just you, me, and the Cogenitor makes three.” > > And, uh, Hi, **Manatee**. \*\* Hi back! And I didn’t get your second line… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/59 "2003-05-26T22:36:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manatee \* > \*\*Hi back! And I didn’t get your second line… ☹ \*\* That’s because you missed Episode 22 of the second season of Enterprise (I am such a geek), “Cogenitor,” in which we are introduced to the Vissians, a species with three genders. Male, female, and cogenitor. The cog. serves one purpose only: to help the male and female have babies. How exactly this is done, only the Vissians and Dr. Phlox know for sure. We were cheated out of pictures and explanations. And that was probably a lot more info than you needed. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/60 "2003-05-27T09:36:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\* > Dr. Bashir: “I’m genetically engineered to be the perfect lover, you know…” \*\* My god. Yep. He’s in a Holosuite. Wearing a tux. And now I _can’t get that image out of my head!_ :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730.md?page=4)