# Star Trek characters at a singles bar **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 22, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730 "2003-05-22T03:16:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/61 "2003-05-27T09:42:31Z")
Just picture him at a Betazoid wedding instead. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/62 "2003-05-27T10:15:45Z")
AAAAAAARRRGGGHH! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/63 "2003-05-27T10:21:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aesiron \* > \*\*Just picture him at a Betazoid wedding instead. šŸ˜ƒ \*\* Hey, you! Quit snooping in my secret fantasy cabinet, dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/64 "2003-05-27T10:26:38Z")
ā€œOpen Wailing Frequencies!ā€ - (To be yelled as approaching oneā€™s ā€œdestinationā€) And who could ever forget the bondage planet episode? ā€œBeat me up, Scottyā€ Of course, they tried a remake of the bondage planet episode with the TNG cast, but it ended in tragedy as Troi empathized herself to death while making small talk with the masochists. Then there was the time that Wesley, in his useful insecurity, tried to improve his luck with an enhancement he deemed ā€œThe Holodickā€. That was a weird season. ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/65 "2003-05-27T10:28:29Z")
useful=youthful ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/66 "2003-05-27T10:46:26Z")
Did you hear about the alternate-universe offspring of Worf and Troi? He could beat you up and feel your pain at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/67 "2003-05-27T10:52:12Z")
ā€¦but itā€™s a shame about those lumpy boobs he hadā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/68 "2003-05-27T10:54:19Z")
Itā€™s his own fault. He didnā€™t _have_ to wear his motherā€™s old space-bunny catsuits all the timeā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/69 "2003-05-27T10:55:21Z")
ā€œWeā€™re losing the thread, Capā€™n! She canna take mooch moreā€¦ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/70 "2003-05-27T10:58:32Z")
ā€œOh, please. Iā€™m a Redshirt, I die in every damn episode. Oh come on!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/71 "2003-05-27T11:02:46Z")
ā€œI am Q. I can make you feel \* like this, like this, and like this.\* Now, when you catch your breath, are we going to leave this puny ship? Or are you going to get all boring and human and force me to do _this, and this_, again? Iā€™ll be waiting outside.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/72 "2003-05-27T11:06:06Z")
Q to Janeway: ā€œIf you have my baby, Iā€™ll give you a never-ending supply of coffeeā€¦ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/73 "2003-05-27T12:54:04Z")
[stupid rant] Q has the worst taste in women EVER. Jeez, being omnipotent and all, youā€™d think he could have done better than the fingernails-on-chalkboard lady. [/stupid rant] Wesley: Iā€™m smarter than the crew; I can fix anything, and Iā€™m an obnoxious little pissant. Therefore, I never get laid. PLEASE have sex with me, before I die of celibacy! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/74 "2003-05-27T13:54:06Z")
Quantum (furrowing his brow): ā€œOne dayā€¦ There will beā€¦ A sort of couplingā€¦ Between you and me.ā€ * * * Neelix: ā€œGood morning, Mr Vulcan!ā€ * * * Spock: :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/75 "2003-05-27T19:33:51Z")
ā€œKirk to Blonde At End Of Bar: One to steam up!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/76 "2003-05-27T21:36:25Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > \*\*Wesley: Iā€™m smarter than the crew; I can fix anything, and Iā€™m an obnoxious little pissant. Therefore, I never get laid. PLEASE have sex with me, before I die of celibacy! \*\* Hey, wait a minute, thatā€™s **my** pick-up line! ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730/77 "2003-05-28T22:19:03Z")
> [@](#): > > _NoClueBoy_ > Quantum (furrowing his brow): ā€œOne dayā€¦ There will beā€¦ A sort of couplingā€¦ Between you and me.ā€ Oooh, good one! Kudos to you, **NCB** , in spite of what they all say about you! * * * Checkov: ā€œHelloo, beautiful! Can I buy you a glass of vine? Itā€™s a wery good wintageā€¦ Vat? No, I am not a wirgin!ā€ Ilia (in a metallic monotone voice): ā€œDisclose your phone number, good looking male unit.ā€ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-characters-at-a-singles-bar/176730.md?page=3)