# Star Trek: Jim Kirk's closest calls **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443 "2016-10-02T01:54:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/1 "2016-10-02T01:54:32Z")
So I’m watching Star Trek this afternoon. Season 2…The Changeling. I get to thinking…man, the Enterprise had some damn close calls. But is it possible this is the closest Kirk came to getting killed? The entire plotline hinges on Kirk having a similar sounding name as the inventor of nomad, “Roykirk”. Even with that Nomad needs to have damaged databanks that allow it to mistake the two similar names for each other. Clearly, Nomad could have squished the Enterprise - and everyone aboard - like bugs. So how about it? Can anyone think of a closer call for NCC-1701 and Kirk? ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/2 "2016-10-02T02:09:27Z")
I guess it’s pretty damn lucky McCoy happened to be testing the regenerative properties of Khans blood on a tribble when he had no business even having the blood and why the \*\*\*\* would he think to run those tests? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/3 "2016-10-02T02:14:34Z")
Leaving aside every episode where Scotty’s brilliant improvisations saved Kirk and the ship at the last second, there was _The Ultimate Computer_, where Kirk not only had to had to talk the computer down, but Daystom had to have a nervous breakdown that allowed Kirk to talk the computer down AND Commodore Wesley had to guess correctly that the Enterprise dropping its shields wasn’t just another battle tactic. If you think about it, the only thing that saved Kirk was a character we had never seen before and would never see again. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/4 "2016-10-02T03:58:03Z")
“Is There in Truth No Beauty” where the Enterprise comes within seconds of being destroyed…and Scotty’s screwdriver jams… And the away team is saved, because the projection of the lovely woman doesn’t have vast strength. Also, it could have been Kirk who died first, just as easily as any of the other guys. There’s a lot of that: in “The Paradise Syndrome,” the spitting flower could have zapped anybody, Kirk just as likely as the redshirt. And in “Miramanee,” he might have been killed by the concussion, instead of just addled by it, when he fell down the stairs. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/5 "2016-10-02T04:04:46Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > “Is There in Truth No Beauty” where the Enterprise comes within seconds of being destroyed…and Scotty’s screwdriver jams… And the away team is saved, because the projection of the lovely woman doesn’t have vast strength. CBG:“Uhm…you mean “That Which Survives”!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/6 "2016-10-02T05:24:04Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > “Is There in Truth No Beauty” where the Enterprise comes within seconds of being destroyed…and Scotty’s screwdriver jams… And **the away team** is saved, because the projection of the lovely woman doesn’t have vast strength. Landing party. In Kirk’s day, they were called landing parties. I’d say Kirk had a pretty close call with the Gorn in “Arena.” Adam and Jamie tried to build a primitive cannon on _ **Mythbusters** _, and they failed miserably. Kirk came pretty close to being skewered (or hung) in “Squire of Gothos” too. Forgetting for a moment that the “900 light-years” thing was absolute bullshit (if Trelayne knew about Alexander Hamilton, that would place the episode around 700 years in the future), does anyone other than me think it odd that Trelayne gave Jaeger a Nazi salute? :dubious: 😕 :smack: ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/7 "2016-10-02T05:28:00Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > There’s a lot of that: in \*\*“The Paradise Syndrome,” \*\*the spitting flower could have zapped anybody, Kirk just as likely as the redshirt. > > And in **“Miramanee,”** he might have been killed by the concussion, instead of just addled by it, when he fell down the stairs. “This Side of Paradise.” Spock’s love story. “Miramanee” was “The Paradise Syndrome.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/8 "2016-10-02T05:32:50Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Does anyone other than me think it odd that Trelayne gave Jaeger a Nazi salute? :dubious: 😕 :smack: Not only that, he gave it with the wrong hand! **DUH!** :smack: ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/9 "2016-10-02T05:34:47Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > If you think about it, the only thing that saved Kirk was a character we had never seen before and would never see again. The only thing that put Kirk in that position was a character we had never seen before and would never see again! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/10 "2016-10-02T05:36:46Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > CBG:“Uhm…you mean “That Which Survives”!” Oopsie… > [@terentii](#): > > “This Side of Paradise.” Spock’s love story. > > “Miramanee” was “The Paradise Syndrome.” Oopsie twice, although I was thinking of the one with the big lizard-head statue, “Vaal…who put the fruit on the trees, caused the rain to fall” It had a spitty flower too, which killed a dude, as opposed to the spitty flowers that made Spock fall in love. (Just looked it up: “The Apple.”) ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/11 "2016-10-02T05:38:55Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Oopsie twice, although I was thinking of the one with the big lizard-head statue, “Vaal…who put the fruit on the trees, caused the rain to fall” It had a spitty flower too, which killed a dude, as opposed to the spitty flowers that made Spock fall in love. > > (Just looked it up: “The Apple.”) Yeah, it was amazing how many planets had spitting flora! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/12 "2016-10-02T08:30:25Z")
Kirk’s closest personal brush with death was when he became a old man.That episode was The Deadly Years. The landing party was aging about 30 years a day. McCoy finds an antidote just in time. Kirk almost went insane (before dying) in Miri. That’s the one with Kim Darby. Once again the landing party (except Spock) will die within a week unless McCoy finds a vaccine. The medical shows were my favorites. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/13 "2016-10-03T02:16:22Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Not only that, he gave it with the wrong hand! **DUH!** :smack: Doesn’t he make some offhand racist “Honourable” comment to Sulu? Trelane is bullshitting with his “Viewer” nonsense. He’s obviously just receiving TV signals from the 60’s or 70’s. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/14 "2016-10-03T03:02:41Z")
How about the time he was a ghost in a spacesuit, floating in and out of the ship? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/15 "2016-10-03T09:05:36Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > Doesn’t he make some offhand racist “Honourable” comment to Sulu? “Honorable sir,” followed by a bow. To which Sulu responded “Is he kidding?” :dubious: It was on the other day, and for the first time in almost 50 years I caught the Nazi salute. \*\* DUH!\*\* :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/16 "2016-10-03T16:40:04Z")
It’s looking like we should be listing the episodes where Kirk is _not_ in imminent danger or has a high likelihood of being killed. Mudd’s Women Shore Leave The Galileo Seven Court Martial This Side of Paradise The City on the Edge of Forever that’s it for season 1! Six out of 28. The ratio is pretty close in the other seasons, too. ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/17 "2016-10-03T16:41:50Z")
Wasn’t Kirk on the away team in “Bread and Circuses” that was shot with machine guns, only to have their transporting (which happened when someone on the other side used a communicator and call for it before being killed himself) begin just as the shooting started (and the bullets are seen to go right through them)? ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/18 "2016-10-03T16:47:53Z")
Kirk is stuck on a ship being pulled into the Doomsday Device (and also about to explode) - that’s pretty close to death. He even sounds a bit tenser than usual as he talks with Scotty (who fixes the transporter at the last possible moment). ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/19 "2016-10-03T17:33:12Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > Kirk is stuck on a ship being pulled into the Doomsday Device (and also about to explode) - that’s pretty close to death. He even sounds a bit tenser than usual as he talks with Scotty (who fixes the transporter at the last possible moment). “Beam me aboard…Gentlemen, beam me aboard!” Or is it “Scotty, beam me aboard”? ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/20 "2016-10-03T17:44:36Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > “Beam me aboard…Gentlemen, beam me aboard!” > Or is it “Scotty, beam me aboard”? It’s drawn out. (The throat of the machine fills the screen when he flips the final red switch.) KIRK: Beam me aboard. … KYLE: Energising. Bridge, it’s shorted out again. … KIRK: Gentlemen, beam me aboard. SPOCK [OC]: We can’t, Captain. Transporter is out again. … SULU: Sixty, fifty, forty SULU: Thirty. KIRK: Gentlemen, I suggest you beam me aboard. It’s a great scene! A cranky transporter’s a mighty finicky piece of machinery to be gambling your life on. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443.md?page=2)