# Star Trek: Jim Kirk's closest calls **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443 "2016-10-02T01:54:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/21 "2016-10-03T17:47:34Z")
Thanks, Just. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/22 "2016-10-03T19:47:41Z")
I’m watching “Court Martial” right now. What the hell did Finney hope to achieve by hiding out on the Engineering decks? Did he plan to abandon his daughter and spend the rest of his life lurking in the ship’s bilge? Sooner or later, he would have been found and Kirk would have been exonorated, making the whole exercise pointless. (Unless, of course, Kirk had committed suicide out of disgrace in the meantime.) Clearly the man was FUBAR! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/23 "2016-10-03T19:53:52Z")
Whoops! Kirk just managed to get his tunic ripped! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/24 "2016-10-03T20:12:31Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > I’m watching “Court Martial” right now. > > What the hell did Finney hope to achieve by hiding out on the Engineering decks? Did he plan to abandon his daughter and spend the rest of his life lurking in the ship’s bilge? Sooner or later, he would have been found and Kirk would have been exonorated, making the whole exercise pointless. (Unless, of course, Kirk had committed suicide out of disgrace in the meantime.) > > Clearly the man was FUBAR! :dubious: And while we’re at it: Just how bad a lawyer is the mighty Samuel T. Cogley, anyway? He sits there lackadaisically throughout most of the trial, doesn’t cross-examine any witnesses, doesn’t object when prosecutor Areel Shaw spins this wild bit of speculation about how Kirk must have hated Finney because he knew Finney hated him (without offering the slightest bit of evidence), and basically looks bored out of his skull by the whole procedure. His one big move as a defense attorney is to put his client on the stand–something even a first year law student knows you don’t do if you can possibly avoid it. Sure, he can make pretty speeches about how cool books are, but as a lawyer he’s basically shit. Honestly, hiring Cogley as his mouthpiece is Kirk’s real closest call. It’s a good thing Spock took time out to play some chess, otherwise Kirk would have ended up in the stockade. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/25 "2016-10-03T21:20:18Z")
It was Spock’s cross-circuiting to B that saved them! ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/26 "2016-10-03T21:31:34Z")
> [@MrAtoz](#): > > Honestly, hiring Cogley as his mouthpiece is Kirk’s real closest call. It’s a good thing Spock took time out to play some chess, otherwise Kirk would have ended up in the stockade. Good points! Thank goodness Spock had time to slack off. Since there is no death penalty (effectively), Kirk may have gone…wherever they put murders. Tantalus V? Elba II asylum? But he would not be in danger of his life. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/27 "2016-10-03T22:31:34Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > It’s drawn out. > > (The throat of the machine fills the screen when he flips the final red switch.) > KIRK: Beam me aboard. > … > KYLE: Energising. Bridge, it’s shorted out again. > … > KIRK: Gentlemen, beam me aboard. > SPOCK [OC]: We can’t, Captain. Transporter is out again. > … > SULU: Sixty, fifty, forty > SULU: Thirty. > KIRK: Gentlemen, I suggest you beam me aboard. > It’s a great scene! A cranky transporter’s a mighty finicky piece of machinery to be gambling your life on. It IS a great scene…Scotty’s “Och!”…the sound effect used. Everything. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/28 "2016-10-04T01:31:18Z")
> [@MrAtoz](#): > > Kirk must have hated Finney because he knew Finney hated him. I quite liked Finney’s Captain Queeg moment: “I was a good officer. I loved the service. But \*\*they \*\*told you to do it! You all conspired \*\*against \*\*me!” Doo-doo-de- **doo** -doo! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/29 "2016-10-04T02:10:20Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Whoops! Kirk just managed to get his tunic ripped! :eek: There is no stopping him now, courts and bad lawyers be damned! Besides, if you diss Cogley, [Shane](http://www.aveleyman.com/Gallery/ActorsC/3554-17104.jpg) comes after your ass. [You’re dead meat.](http://piddleville.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/shane_05.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/30 "2016-10-04T03:44:28Z")
Well, if we can count newKirk, he not only came close to death, he actually _died_. Fortunately, there was genetic-superman blood available and a doctor with the foresight to use a tribble as a test subject for no apparent reason. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/31 "2016-10-04T06:58:25Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > And in “Miramanee,” he might have been killed by the concussion, instead of just addled by it, when he fell down the stairs. And if that didn’t do it, there’s always being stoned into unconsciousness (and not in the good way). You know, the stoning that killed the woman that he was trying to shield with his body. You’d think he’d have taken the brunt of it, especially since they were mostly aiming at him… Kirk also came close to biting it in “The Tholian Web”. ---
**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/32 "2016-10-04T12:37:57Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > There is no stopping him now, courts and bad lawyers be damned! > > Besides, if you diss Cogley, [Shane](http://www.aveleyman.com/Gallery/ActorsC/3554-17104.jpg) comes after your ass. [You’re dead meat.](http://piddleville.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/shane_05.jpg) No problem. [Sam Spade](https://ihumblysuggest.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/maltese-wilmer.jpg) will take his gun away, just like he did to Cogley all those years ago. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/33 "2016-10-04T13:03:12Z")
> [@MrAtoz](#): > > No problem. [Sam Spade](https://ihumblysuggest.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/maltese-wilmer.jpg) will take his gun away, just like he did to Cogley all those years ago. I’d put my money on Spade, but taking guns away from a gunsel is a lot easier than taking them away from the guy who shot the [Low Down Yankee Liar](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4o9duHpeBQQ/TS8CXEq4NAI/AAAAAAAAD3Q/CHnP7RCcQK8/s1600/aa21.JPG), Jack Palance. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443/34 "2016-10-04T14:24:37Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I’d put my money on Spade, but taking guns away from a gunsel is a lot easier than taking them away from the guy who shot the [Low Down Yankee Liar](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4o9duHpeBQQ/TS8CXEq4NAI/AAAAAAAAD3Q/CHnP7RCcQK8/s1600/aa21.JPG), Jack Palance. Well, ol’ Cogley wasn’t _that_ ineffectual. He was a [successful east coast mobster](http://magnum-mania.com/images/4_4_e_full.jpg)who relocated to Hawaii and kept active in the business. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-jim-kirks-closest-calls/767443.md?page=1)