# Star Trek Question Drinking contest **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 31, 2014, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966 "2014-03-31T05:03:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/1 "2014-03-31T05:03:13Z")
Who would win in a drinking contest: Scotty or Bones? I know your first instinct is Scotty but think for a minute. Bones drinks a lot. He prescribes drinks. He knows all the best places on wide variety of planets. He gets smuggled shipments of Romulan Ale. I think Bones would win. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/2 "2014-03-31T05:11:20Z")
Bones. Even though Scotty would try to cheat by transporting alcohol into McCoy’s stomach it wouldn’t work because Bones would have given himself something to negate the effects of the alcohol. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/3 "2014-03-31T05:36:36Z")
Spock would win. From the Wikipedia entry on Vulcans, they are depicted as immune to the effects of alcohol (in the novelization of Star Trek IV), although they can become inebriated from too much sucrose. So long as it was alcohol and not something sweet like Singapore Slings, Spock would prevail. Now, I know he’s half human, but consider: His heart is where his liver _should_ be, so - no liver. He _cannot_ metabolize alcohol. Ipso facto, Spock wins. :^) ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/4 "2014-03-31T05:37:55Z")
Leaving out cheating by use of drugs or other technology… Scotty. Scotty is willing to go the distance, to shit-face himself and fall over in his own puke. McCoy is a moderate, and would stop himself before he humiliated himself in that fashion. Okay, wait, that’s also introducing an extraneous element. Scotty, then, because he’s bigger. All else being equal, body weight counts. (And I’m thinking TOS Scotty. In the movies, he’s even bigger!) ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/5 "2014-03-31T06:04:32Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > Spock would win. From the Wikipedia entry on Vulcans, they are depicted as immune to the effects of alcohol (in the novelization of Star Trek IV), although they can become inebriated from too much sucrose. > > So long as it was alcohol and not something sweet like Singapore Slings, Spock would prevail. Now, I know he’s half human, but consider: His heart is where his liver _should_ be, so - no liver. He _cannot_ metabolize alcohol. Ipso facto, Spock wins. > :^) **Ahem!** Respectfully disagree. Your logic is faulty. The novelization of _ **IV** _ was done by Vonda McIntyre, who couldn’t write her way out of a wet paper bag. :mad: Ergo, any new information that might be gleaned from it is automatically suspect and should be disregarded. With respect to the question at hand, if we’re talking about mint juleps vs neat scotch, the latter is obviously the stronger drink. Ergo, one would consume a greater amount of alcohol in a shorter period of time drinking neat scotch. On the other hand, if the actual number of drinks is what counts, it would require a much greater number of rounds to imbibe an equal amount of alcohol if one is drinking juleps. If we’re talking about who could drink whom under the table, however, I’d go with Scotty, simply because it’s clear he’s had experience consuming vast quantities of alcohol and has built up a resistance to the stuff. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/6 "2014-03-31T06:42:33Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > **Ahem!** Respectfully disagree. Your logic is faulty. The novelization of _ **IV** _ was done by Vonda McIntyre, who couldn’t write her way out of a wet paper bag. :mad: Ergo, any new information that might be gleaned from it is automatically suspect and should be disregarded. … Yeah, I was afraid that “non-canon” descriptive term for the novelization was gonna bite me in the ass. How about the “heart is where the liver is, so no liver (perhaps)?” thing, though? That’s straight out of TOS! Okay, my post was quite tongue-in-cheek. BTW, nice “Spock tone” in your answer to me. (Hey - “Spock tone”. I like it! “_If everything is ready on the dark side of the moon, play the Spock-tones._”) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/7 "2014-03-31T11:34:20Z")
Spock has a liver, location undermined. He would find a drinking contest illogical and therefore not participate. Chekov otoh, being stereotypically Russian, would drink vodka like it was water. Still, I think he’d wash out before either Scotty or Bones. (are you geeking out that Scotty’s line is red and McCoy’s line is blue like I am?) ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/8 "2014-03-31T12:42:50Z")
In Scotland, alcohol is considered a food group. Scotty would win. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/9 "2014-03-31T13:53:31Z")
The answer, as always, is… Kirk wins. Because…Kirk! He also cheated. He reprogrammed the food synthesizer to give him half-strength booze. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/10 "2014-03-31T14:25:06Z")
Scotty. Now drink your drink. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/11 "2014-03-31T14:33:23Z")
I voted Scotty because of size. For those of you saying Scotty would win because he is Scottish and they drink, remember McCoy is also a Scottish name. Even though he doesn’t have an accent, he may still have the Scots constitution. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/12 "2014-03-31T14:51:11Z")
Bones. Scotty likes drinking and getting drunk. Bones likes competition. He’d stay there, downing another whatever, possibly testing to see just how drunk he was now and then, and just do it, while Scotty would be all like “wahey the lads! I’ve got a bit of drink in me - anyone fancy joining me?” and forget to focus on standing up straight. I’ve seen something similar play out in real life. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/13 "2014-03-31T15:09:52Z")
Scotty doesn’t win because he’s Scottish. He wins because he’s a _walking Scottish stereotype_. Bones drinks like a normal non-teetotal man from the 60s. Scotty is _a Drinker_. This is a man whose idea of how to defeat an alien was to get stinking, falling down drunk with him. And it took wiping out his entire supply of booze (including an unnamed green substance - which may have been Aldebaran whiskey, or it may have been a forgotten bottle of mouthwash - and a prized bottle of scotch) to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/14 "2014-03-31T15:31:23Z")
It’s … grrreen! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/15 "2014-03-31T16:13:32Z")
Scotty would win, in part because McCoy wouldn’t even realize it was supposed to be a contest. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/16 "2014-03-31T16:49:47Z")
> [@Kamino\_Neko](#): > > Scotty doesn’t win because he’s Scottish. He wins because he’s a _walking Scottish stereotype_. > > Bones drinks like a normal non-teetotal man from the 60s. Scotty is _a Drinker_. > > This is a man whose idea of how to defeat an alien was to get stinking, falling down drunk with him. And it took wiping out his entire supply of booze (including an unnamed green substance - which may have been Aldebaran whiskey, or it may have been a forgotten bottle of mouthwash - and a prized bottle of scotch) to do it. Heck, when McCoy came up with a cure for the Tholian Web insanity plague, based on a Klingon nerve gas(!) Scotty’s first question was “Can you mix it with Scotch?” ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-question-drinking-contest/684966/17 "2014-03-31T17:06:05Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Heck, when McCoy came up with a cure for the Tholian Web insanity plague, based on a Klingon nerve gas(!) Scotty’s first question was “Can you mix it with Scotch?” And took the flask with him to test the proposition.