# Star Trek V's God Who Needs A Spaceship (spoiler alert?) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 6, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554 "2009-05-06T16:33:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/1 "2009-05-06T16:33:55Z")
So listen. Is there anyone here who is confused about the fact that the god who needs a spaceship in Star Trek V is not a god? Because he’s not. Just to make sure everyone knows. Sorry, I’m sure it’s obvious at least to almost everyone here if not everyone. But I just heard the movie mocked by a couple of people chatting in line, yet again, because “there’s a god in it who needs a spaceship.” Haha! Stupid movie! I know I’ve heard this several times before. Hence the thread, just to make sure that people here are mocking this very mockable movie for actual reasons of mockability, and not because of a massively dunderheaded misunderstanding of the plot. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/2 "2009-05-06T16:42:41Z")
I couldn’t help but notice your pain. It runs deep. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/3 "2009-05-06T16:47:26Z")
You gave me a horrible scare. When I saw the [SPOILER] I thought you might be talking about a more recent film. And I was just joking with Pepper Mill that I’d be really disappointed if the new Star Trek film ended with them on a planet with God. By the way, I’[m not sure how common knowledge it is, but Stephen King in **Danse Macabre** retells a story about Harlan Ellison pitching a Star Trek movie script to the company suits and ending with the Enterprise going to a planet where they find God. The suits consider, then complain that “It isn’t BIG enough.” Please note that, even in the story, Ellison isn’t being serious. And it’s not clear to me that the story is meant to be true. But the publication of thi8s predates even the second Star Trek movie. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/4 "2009-05-06T20:34:55Z")
I read that too. Not very plausible. William Shatner directing. As if any studio head would be stupid enough to let that happen. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/5 "2009-05-06T20:58:21Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > I read that too. Not very plausible. William Shatner directing. As if any studio head would be stupid enough to let that happen. Probably be about as foolish as letting him write a novel. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/6 "2009-05-06T21:02:11Z")
Not that closely related, but there’s a story about one of the few times Muhammad Ali got one-upped. He had just boarded a plane, and when the stewardess asked him to fasten his seat belt, he just answered “Superman don’t need no seat belt!” She simply answered “Superman don’t need no _plane_, either”. Ali smiled, shut up, and buckled. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/7 "2009-05-06T21:13:48Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Probably be about as foolish as letting him write a novel. Well, the kids have to learn about ‘Tek War’ sooner or later. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/8 "2009-05-06T21:32:58Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > So listen. Is there anyone here who is confused about the fact that the god who needs a spaceship in Star Trek V is > > not a god? > > Because he’s > > not. > > Just to make sure everyone knows. Well, how do you know he isn’t ? They ran into Apollo, after all. For all we know, he really IS the being behind the myths of the Abrahamic God in the Star Trek universe. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/9 "2009-05-06T22:33:10Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Well, how do you know he isn’t ? They ran into Apollo, after all. For all we know, he really IS the being behind the myths of the Abrahamic God in the Star Trek universe. That’s the way I always interpreted it. The creature on the planet is the one responsible for all the Abrahamic myths on Earth, and Spock kills him. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/10 "2009-05-06T22:37:09Z")
> [@Mr\_Shine](#): > > That’s the way I always interpreted it. The creature on the planet is the one responsible for all the Abrahamic myths on Earth, and Spock kills him. 😛 There was, in fact a Star Trek novel where he was supposedly “the inventor of monotheism”, apparently DID consider himself God, and ended up as a glowing head that needed a spaceship because he lost a war with the Q. The head was all that was left. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/11 "2009-05-06T22:39:34Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > So listen. Is there anyone here who is confused about the fact that the god who needs a spaceship in Star Trek V is > > not a god? > > Because he’s > > not. > > Just to make sure everyone knows. > > Sorry, I’m sure it’s obvious at least to almost everyone here if not everyone. But I just heard the movie mocked by a couple of people chatting in line, yet again, because “there’s a god in it who needs a spaceship.” Haha! Stupid movie! > > I know I’ve heard this several times before. Hence the thread, just to make sure that people here are mocking this very mockable movie for actual reasons of mockability, and not because of a massively dunderheaded misunderstanding of the plot. I think what’s being mocked by repeating Kirk’s line is not the ridiculousness of a god who needs a spaceship, but that fact that the only person in the movie to ask the question is Kirk - is everyone else in the movie an idiot or what? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/12 "2009-05-06T23:03:31Z")
What’s this Star Trek V you’re talking about? There was no such movie. ---
**Author:** ![Carnacki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Carnacki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnacki)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/13 "2009-05-06T23:05:50Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > I think what’s being mocked by repeating Kirk’s line is not the ridiculousness of a god who needs a spaceship, but that fact that the only person in the movie to ask the question is Kirk - is everyone else in the movie an idiot or what? I might be misremembering, but I don’t think it’s clear that the god/alien’s goal is to get access to a starship until just before Kirk says that line. The rest of the movie, we’re just following Sybok on his quest to find the physical location of God. I think it’s clear that most people (until they get brainwashed) find this quest to be ridiculous or futile, without them saying so explicitly. I had a conversation with my father back in the dark ages sometime, and I mentioned ST:V and he said “Is that the stupid one where they go meet God?”, and I was thinking to myself “Did you even watch the same movie I did?” I’m not going to spend much time defending that movie, but at least let’s criticize it for it’s actual flaws. ---
**Author:** ![Carnacki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Carnacki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnacki)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/14 "2009-05-06T23:16:39Z")
Missed the edit window. Here’s the script, as posted [here](http://www.geocities.com/ussmunchkin7/Star_Trek_V.htm), where it’s first revealed that the “Being” wants a starship. > [@](#): > > BEING > Ah. This starship… could it carry > my wisdom beyond the Barrier? > > ``` > SYBOK > It could. Yes! > > BEING > Then I shall make use of this > starship. > > SYBOK > (thrilled) > It will be your chariot! > > Kirk politely raises a hand. > > KIRK > Excuse me. > > BEING > (ignoring Kirk) > It will carry my power to every > corner of creation... > > KIRK > (insistant) > Excuse me. > > The Being regards Kirk like he was a pesky insect. > > KIRK > (continuing) > I just wanted to ask a question. > > McCoy looks at Kirk like he just farted in church. > > KIRK > (continuing) > What does GOD need with a starship? > > ``` ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/15 "2009-05-06T23:32:01Z")
I excluded that movie from my personal canon years ago. Ahhhhh. (Though I rather like that one scene.) ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/16 "2009-05-07T01:35:13Z")
> [@Carnacki](#): > > I might be misremembering, but I don’t think it’s clear that the god/alien’s goal is to get access to a starship until just before Kirk says that line. > > The rest of the movie, we’re just following Sybok on his quest to find the physical location of God. I think it’s clear that most people (until they get brainwashed) find this quest to be ridiculous or futile, without them saying so explicitly. > > I had a conversation with my father back in the dark ages sometime, and I mentioned ST:V and he said “Is that the stupid one where they go meet God?”, and I was thinking to myself “Did you even watch the same movie I did?” > > I’m not going to spend much time defending that movie, but at least let’s criticize it for it’s actual flaws. Thanks for checking that - I guess I was mistaken. I actually resent the movie for the sight gag with Scotty knocking himself out on a girder, more than any other thing. Scotty’s the man, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/17 "2009-05-07T02:21:40Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Because he’s not Well, then next time he’ll know to bring I.D.! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/18 "2009-05-07T11:23:24Z")
> [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > : > > Originally Posted by Frylock > > Because he’s not > > Well, then next time he’ll know to bring I.D.! [In the Style of a certain old Credit Card Commercial] Hi! Do you know me? Billions of people pray to me every day, yet they Don’t See My Face. That’s why I carry Deity Express. With Deity Express, I get discounts on clerical garb, religious texts, and Ecclesiatical Implements. And if I’m late with a payment, they’re cool with that. Deity Express – Don’t leave Heaven Without It Cardholder since 4004 BC [/ItSofacoCCC] ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/19 "2009-05-07T12:43:09Z")
I’ve never had problem with that line. What made it ridiculous was Kirk’s schoolboyish “Excuse me.” It looks stupid and seems out of character. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554/20 "2009-05-07T12:57:36Z")
Wow. I truly, honestly, sincerely have forgotten \*everything \*about this movie. Thank you, brain! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-trek-vs-god-who-needs-a-spaceship-spoiler-alert/495554.md?page=2)