# Star Wars: Chick Tract **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 3, 2002, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994 "2002-05-03T03:19:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/21 "2002-05-03T23:41:50Z")
Well thank goodness this revelation has been revealed! For far too many years I’ve been thinking of Star Wars movies as good fun. But now, thanks to a few enlightened people on this board, nay deities of higher thought, my thinking has been corrected. I had not realized that Star Wars was not in the realm of high art. Surely I must have considered them masterpieces that sat among the most distinguished and intellectual films of our time… Citizen Kane, The Third Man, Seven Samara, 12 Angry Men, and Empire Strikes Back. Indeed it was if the Star Wars films were my own personal false idols. But now I have been shown the light! Apparently the science in Star Wars is bad. This simply destroys the film. It does occur to me that the science in every motion picture ever made with the exception of Apollo 13 might not be quite up to par (or at least an excuse to test the theaters sound system despite the lack of a medium for sound in space) but whom am I, a mere mortal, to question the thoughts of those here who have condemned what I thought was mere mindless entertainment? Indeed the antagonists in Star Wars have bad aim, they tend to make foolish mistakes, they fail to think through their strategies. Again, I am tempted to wonder how any protagonist in any action film would ever make it through a film if put up against a true thinking villain. How did Mr. Connery survive through all those perils he found himself in as James Bond? But no, my right is not to question. Should those wise souls who know better than I ever deem it time to come down from their ivory tower in the sky upon which they are rectally perched perhaps they could answer for me what is wrong with simply fun. But it is likely that I am far too corrupted to comprehend their poignant concepts. I shall simply return to re-reading my Heinlein collection until logic returns to me and I sin no more. Although “The number of the Beast” does seem to defy the very logic that I seek. I can only hope it is not considered fun as well least it be cast in the same waste bin as Star Wars. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/22 "2002-05-04T07:19:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Peyote Coyote \* > \*\*Monster104: I suggest you read Poul Anderson’s “Tau Ceti,” Harlan Ellison’s anthology “Dangerous Visions,” Robert A. Heinlein’s “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress,” Frederick Pohl and C.M. Kornbluth’s “The Space Merchants,” Frank Herbert’s “Dune,” Larry Niven’s “Ringworld,” Ray Bradbury’s “S is for Space,” Leigh Brackett’s Ginger Star trilogy and damn near anything written by Henry Kuttner and/or C.M. Moore, and I think you will understand what is the difference between Star Vomit and real sci-fi. > \*\* I’ve read all those and more, and I still love the SW movies. And so did Leigh Brackett, who contributed to the writing of _The Empire Strikes Back_. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/23 "2002-05-04T08:22:40Z")
George thinks of them as kids movies. He’s right. When I was a kid, I loved em. Now I’m older, but they bring out the kid in me. Can’t fault him for that. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/24 "2002-05-04T11:10:41Z")
C’mon, they’re not all that bad. Besides, if you watch all three original SW movies in the same week, you’ll notice that Jedi is somewhat cornier than the previous two. Just don’t hold any of them to such high standards. Art? No. Entertainment? Yes. Science Fiction? No, not really. Fiction? Of course! Sure, Ringworld is an interesting work of sciene fiction. I enjoyed reading it. Would it make a good movie? No! Nothing happens in it! It would make slow-paced movie with no thrills or excitement. If you want to experience the depth of the setting (the most interesting part by far), then read the damn book. Same goes for the work of Heinlein and company. It’s a matter of apples and oranges. Sure, the apples and oranges in this case are capable of interstellar travel, but still… ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/25 "2002-05-04T22:18:14Z")
> [@](#): > > And a fleet of White Stars would have taken out the Death Star in no time. Mwahahahahaha. Actually, a little bit of calculations revealed that it would take 64,000 White Stars to equal the firepower of a single Star Destroyer Mark II, going by the latest ICS numbers… 😃 > [@](#): > > Forget all the dumb technical errors, like using parsecs as a unit of time rather than a unit of distance. I trust I don’t need to explain _why_ the Kessel Run uses distance measure rather than time. I’m perfectly aware that Ol’ George probably didn’t care about it at the time… but leave it to the EU writers to smooth out the wrinkles, that’s what I say. > [@](#): > > Supposedly, the Empire has taken over a huge chunk of a galaxy and is hellbent on taking over the remainder, yet its soldiers cannot hit a bull in the ass at two meters with their fucking ray guns. You must be thinking about a different Star Wars. Remember when they invaded the _Tantive IV_ at the beginning of the film? They sure seemed accurate to me. The only other time we saw them shooting at the good guys was in the Death Star, where they were deliberately allowing Luke & Company to get away. Didn’t you notice the part where Leia said “They let us go”, or when Tarkin mentioned “Are you sure the homing beacon is secure aboard their ship”? Don’t criticize a movie just 'cuz you’re too lazy to pay attention to it, Buckaroo. > [@](#): > > And if space armor is such a good idea, why don’t our heroes don some? I know if someone was shooting at me, I would want to be wearing some ray-resistant armor. Probably because it can be expensive and prohibitive for movement, and when you’re wearing it, it singles you out immediately as a target? Further, keep in mind that those guns can be set strong enough to blow out huge chunks of wall… Stormie armor is only good against low-powered or sharply-angled shots. Beyond that, it’s not much more than a glorified NBC suit. > [@](#): > > I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. Yeah, I get the picture. You don’t like it because it’s popular, so now you need to come up with half-assed nitpicks. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/26 "2002-05-05T00:07:21Z")
**GuanoKid** has is right, I think. It’s a kiddie film. A kiddie film with tremendous cross-over appeal, I might add. A kiddie film that I enjoyed (ok actually, I enjoyed 2 out of 4 of the series). (And I’d love to see one of the bootleg versions of Episode 1. Too bad Lucas won’t license the film out to a few re-editors. Call it an, “Audience’s Cut”.) A hilariously over-rated kiddie film as well. Really, I think it’s funny. (News flash: “The Force”: Not really that deep a concept. (Not that anybody on this page has claimed that it is.)) Curiosity will probably compel me to see number 2 of the 9-part extravaganza. Quite a successful franchise, I would say. Q: Was 1970s culture _really_ that bad? No, it was worse. Thank the Deity for the internet. (Actually the 1970s also had punk rock, a great contribution to Western Civilization IM(H?)O). ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/27 "2002-05-05T02:54:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Octavia Smythe-Bunion I. Esq. \* > \*\* > > I had to quote the whole post… Sofa King, you’ve perfectly and eloquently expressed my own thoughts about the '70’s. I’ve always said there were only three good things about that decade: > > a) I was born > b) Vietnam ended > c) Star Wars\*\* Ohhhhh…that was so good. Can I steal it, please? Pretty please? It applies to me, I was born in 1970. 😃 I also agree with Sofa King. ---
**Author:** ![Osbie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cdc98d/32.png) [@Osbie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osbie)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/28 "2002-05-05T03:42:46Z")
Be my guest Weird Al! May memories of “greasy polyester clowns” not haunt your dreams tonight! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/29 "2002-05-05T03:44:07Z")
Well, there WAS that Disco version of the Star Wars theme… Mark Hamill also had a decent stage career on Broadway, I believe. From what I’ve read, he mostly stayed low profile because he wanted to concentrate on his family. No fault with that. The guy seems pretty happy and content with what he’s doing-which, I think, equals success. ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/30 "2002-05-06T05:16:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Mark Hamill also had a decent stage career on Broadway, I believe. From what I’ve read, he mostly stayed low profile because he wanted to concentrate on his family. No fault with that. The guy seems pretty happy and content with what he’s doing-which, I think, equals success. \*\* Is this why he was in “Guys and Dolls” on that one Simpsons episode? “Luke be a Jedi tonight…” ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/31 "2002-05-06T05:46:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*Yeah, I get the picture. You don’t like it because it’s popular, so now you need to come up with half-assed nitpicks. \*\* So, Spoofe, how many cool points[sup]TM[/sup] are people getting these days for hating Star Wars? How about for saying you “never liked it”? Seems to have gone up recently. Ever since Ep I came out, actually. How much you want to bet all these FAR-TOO-COOLs who call it a “steaming pile of shit” are just bitter because their parents didn’t let them go in '77? “Eh, those grapes are probably sour anyway. Who wants 'em?” ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/32 "2002-05-06T05:50:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Peyote Coyote \* > \*\*Dope was a helluva cheaper than it is now and you could still buy hashish. \*\* This no doubt explains greasy polyester clonws, avacado refrigerators, re-badged Pintos and the panama canal. 😃 And **SPOOFE** , it’s just a movie. Get over it. The effects were a big step forward and it didn’t have the grievous over-acting of _Battle Beyond the Stars_ and many other SF movies of that era, but the dialogue is straight out of a B-western. * * * “No! Basketball is a peaceful planet!” ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994/33 "2002-05-06T12:27:05Z")
Ok Hold On I will defend the 70’s and point out that Star Wars Was not reflecting 1977 it was reflecting 1976, the hair the goofy “hey man I love you” Hugs Harrison ford wandering around with the open shirt (all he needed was big ugly gold medallions) . Being America’s Bicentenial Year is it any wonder than evryone in control of the Empire (save Vader’s voice over, but not the Actor physcially playing Darth) was British and almost all the rebels were American (Save Fisher’s weird accent slips. For an example listen to the “star system’s slip through your fingers” speech she gives" Oh Yeah Star Wars was not seperate from the Seventies it was teh Seventies. And that isn’t that bad. Look at some of the great movies from the 70s (Godfather (I and II) Appocalypse Now, French Conection, The Shining, Halloween, China Town, Close Encounters, Jaws, etc etc…) and some of the great TV series that are still popular (All in the Family, MASH, Columbo, Jeffersons, and so on) But for me it was the Kids TV that was the best Shazam, Star Trek (animated) Big Foot and Wildboy, Speed Buggy, Scooby Doo and even Ark II. I compare all of these to the 80s and the later 90’s and I have to wonder how awful the 70’s really were. 'nuff said. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-chick-tract/106994.md?page=1)