# Star Wars - Episode III Crawl Revealed **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 27, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880 "2005-01-27T05:02:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/21 "2005-01-27T14:18:22Z")
Or Lucas could have done it like this. _This is WAR baby. War baby. The Jedi are scared, so scared. Whatever this is they keep putting them through…_ I would personally like it to read like this though: The Republic is getting FUCKED up by Sarumans armies. Seeing their hood being smashed up, Yoda and Mace L. Jackson decide to get their SWERVE on and return the Steez. Join us now, as shit gets insane for the next 2 hours of space battles, lightsabre fights and shit blowing up . Its on like DONKEY KONG motherfuckers… (Enter Star Destroyer from above) ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/22 "2005-01-27T15:38:41Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Absolutely nuthin’! Say it again ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/23 "2005-01-27T15:43:59Z")
Now that was good, **Larry Mudd**. I could even hear the swelling orchestra as I read it. Come to think of it, maybe it wasn’t all that good. It made me want to see it and I completely forgot my resolution to wait until I could rent it. Damn your oily hide. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/24 "2005-01-27T20:21:17Z")
> [@lno](#): > > Now that was good, **Larry Mudd**. I could even hear the swelling orchestra as I read it. It’s even better if you set your browswer to smooth-scroll and tap the down key as you read it. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/25 "2005-01-28T00:10:11Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Oh, and for folks who are too lazy to follow the link: Cool job with the coding. 🙂 One comment: In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate. Maybe it’s just me, but this little snippet strikes me as encapsulating what’s been wrong with the prequels. I mean, that seems like a pretty important incident. Why does it happen **between movies**? Wouldn’t it be fun to actually **see** this happen? Isn’t that like a major plot point and stuff? If Lucas were actually thinking about the **story** he’s telling, wouldn’t he put that story **on screen** instead of shifting major pieces of it offstage? Because apparently it’s more important to devote twenty minutes of valuable screen time to a a whiny little kid in a completely irrelevant speeder race… ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/26 "2005-01-28T00:22:21Z")
FWIW, spoilers don’t work on Mozilla. S’okay, I was in the midst of following the link anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/27 "2005-01-28T00:42:56Z")
I think **Larry Mudd** colored the text yellow on purpose and put it in a spoiler box so that he could make the neato yellow on black resemble the movie crawl. Spoiler boxes work fine in Mozilla/Firefox/Safari. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/28 "2005-01-28T00:48:12Z")
Yeah, just not with colored text. I think it’s OK to have some action happen off stage. We didn’t see the rebel spies steal the death star plans, after all (in IV or VI…those poor Bothans). Remember, we’re no longer seeing a sage of the defeat of an evil empire…we’re watching the fall and rebirth of Anakin Skywalker. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/29 "2005-01-28T01:45:52Z")
capitalization leads to the dark side. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/30 "2005-01-28T01:47:44Z")
On windows now. Sorry, **Larry Mudd** , I see what you were doing now. Most excellent. I’ve only been on Mozilla a short time, and I’m still feeling my way around. I thought the spoiler not working was a quirk. This was the first thread I’ve encountered while on Mozilla that contained spoilers. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/31 "2005-01-28T01:52:41Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Maybe it’s just me, but this little snippet strikes me as encapsulating what’s been wrong with the prequels. I mean, that seems like a pretty important incident. Why does it happen **between movies**? Wouldn’t it be fun to actually **see** this happen? Isn’t that like a major plot point and stuff? If Lucas were actually thinking about the **story** he’s telling, wouldn’t he put that story **on screen** instead of shifting major pieces of it offstage? > > Because apparently it’s more important to devote twenty minutes of valuable screen time to a a whiny little kid in a completely irrelevant speeder race… Well said. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/32 "2005-01-28T03:18:10Z")
I should point out that I brazenly stole that technique from someone who posted in the epic “I AM NOT THE GRAPIST!!!” thread a while back. I think the extradiagetic plot points are an attempt to make the films more like the Saturday afternoon serials, where it was expected that the audience would miss the occasional installment and have to play a bit of catch-up. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/33 "2005-01-28T03:28:44Z")
Unless the crawl contains an apology for some of the crap he’s foisted upon us, I’m not going to be overly optimistic that this film’s going to be any better than the last. Oh, and rumor has it that Lucas is going to turn the franchise into a TV series after this. ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/34 "2005-01-28T04:35:59Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Cool job with the coding. 🙂 > > One comment: > > In a stunning move, the > fiendish droid leader, General > Grievous, has swept into the > Republic capital and kidnapped > Chancellor Palpatine, leader of > the Galactic Senate. > Maybe it’s just me, but this little snippet strikes me as encapsulating what’s been wrong with the prequels. I mean, that seems like a pretty important incident. Why does it happen **between movies**? Wouldn’t it be fun to actually **see** this happen? Isn’t that like a major plot point and stuff? If Lucas were actually thinking about the **story** he’s telling, wouldn’t he put that story **on screen** instead of shifting major pieces of it offstage? > > Because apparently it’s more important to devote twenty minutes of valuable screen time to a a whiny little kid in a completely irrelevant speeder race… From my understanding, Palpatine has JUST been kidnapped. Lucas wants to start this film with a bang. The first shots will be dropping us right into the midst of a full scale space battle above Coruscant. And the reason they don’t show the kidnapping is because Palpatine is not kidnapped, he goes willingly, seeing as how he is Sideous and he is in cahoots with Dooku, but that isn’t meant to be revealed at the very beginning of the movie. DUR! Now as for WHY Sideous stages this whole event has yet to be revealed and that’s one of the few things we rabid fans will have to wait til May 19th to find out. ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/35 "2005-01-28T04:37:32Z")
_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_ That can’t be true. It’s IMPOSSIBLE! ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/36 "2005-01-28T04:39:06Z")
Search your feelings, you KNOW IT to be true! ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/37 "2005-01-28T05:35:39Z")
I’m in the camp that thinks that if it’s that simple, Lucas will have sealed his fate entirely. I mean, it was incredibly, painfully obvious that he was hinting that Palpy was Sidious in the first prequel, even if you DIDN’T put two and two together on the names. And yet, despite it being the most painfully obvious assumption possible, he’s continually filmed it as if it were some big secret to be dramatically revealed later. If it is dramatically revealed to be just what everyone assumed it to be from the get go, then it will thus be utterly, totally pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![cryptic\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@cryptic\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cryptic_j)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/38 "2005-01-28T12:20:35Z")
I think it will turn out to be… Mace Windu is Anakin’s father… it’s just a really bad bit of casting… do you think after Episode III it will be possible - - with editing to create a REALLy kick ass prequal ?? ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/39 "2005-01-28T12:40:59Z")
C’mon - you just _know_ that after the latest atrocity Lucas is just going to go right back to the start and re-make the first three all over again, in line with his “original artistic vision”. It’s been nearly thirty years, after all - just ripe for a re-make. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880/40 "2005-01-28T12:49:52Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > C’mon - you just _know_ that after the latest atrocity Lucas is just going to go right back to the start and re-make the first three all over again, in line with his “original artistic vision”. It’s been nearly thirty years, after all - just ripe for a re-make. He’s done that. The game plan now: Release III on DVD with lotsa extras. Release I, II, III in a special box with lots of extras. Re-do I-III, release for theatre. Start dishing out those, one by one on DVD. Special gift box of all three. By that time, IV, V, VI will be ready for another eXtreme makeover and it starts all over again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-iii-crawl-revealed/286880.md?page=3)