# Star Wars Episode VII ANTI-anticipation thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 12, 2015, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762 "2015-09-12T00:59:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/1 "2015-09-12T00:59:39Z")
Bits and pieces of this movie are coming to us in the form of trailers, posters, toys, and more. Yeah, I was in Costco today, and already… MERCHANDISE!!! And that droid toy at Brookstone. Cool toy! That’s about as nice as Ima get here… Sorry, this movie is going to blow dead bears. Here’s why: • Kylo Ren is Darth Vader in a slightly different suit. Gotta have a bad guy! He’s gotta be a badass! Well, with the black robe and that mask, he looks like… Vader, yeah. How is a Vader retread going to be interesting at all? • For that matter, any villains after Vader and Palpatine are anticlimactic. These dudes is defined, at least within the Unextended Universe, as the baddest-ass Dark Side users of all time. Palpatine is defeated, but… another dude emerges… and he’s a total badass! And he’s got this _wicked_ new lightsaber, dude! Yawn. • The rolly-polly droid makes for a nice toy, but is that a good design? Totally not. Is having a metal ball roll along abrasive sand and rocks in any way a good idea? IRL, it would be destroyed in a matter of hours, scratched and dented to oblivion. Legs, people, legs. Or like hover or something. • I don’t want to see fat old Han, Luke, and Leia. It’s just stupid and won’t be a nostalgic experience. It’s gonna be nuking the fridge all over again. • There’s not even the hint of a story yet that could be any fuckin’ good. Just a retread of Dark! vs. Light! Struggle! Yawn Part Deux, Electric Boogaloo. Sadly, it won’t be a _terrible_ movie that hits people over the head with brickbats of badness, like the prequel atrocities. Rather, it’s going to be _just good enough._ Luke! Leia! Han and Chewie!!! It’s the 80s again! Badness new villain so badassss lightsaberrrrs!!! Captain Kirk with his shirt of–oh wait, different Abrams flick, my bad. It’s gonna be a lot of lights ‘n’ pew pew pew done competently, and people will yap yap yap, and _then_, after six months or so, the hangover will set in: Oh _fuck_, Star Wars still sucks. Yes it does. And will. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/2 "2015-09-12T01:21:02Z")
Judging from the Star Trek reboots and the trailers shown so far, there won’t be much in the way of new ideas or stories. It will be recycled imagery and nostalgia pandering in a competently made package. It will make eleventy billion dollars. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/3 "2015-09-12T01:30:19Z")
> [@marshmallow](#): > > Judging from the Star Trek reboots and the trailers shown so far, there won’t be much in the way of new ideas or stories. It will be recycled imagery and nostalgia pandering in a competently made package. It will make eleventy billion dollars. Verily, you have sussed it! ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/4 "2015-09-12T02:12:55Z")
Meh, what’s left in motives for bad guys these days? All the Marvel and James Bond flicks seem to have the same problem. They’re running out of unique villians. They’re either power hungry or bent on revenge. I think they’ll hit the right marks with this one with just enough for the masses to say “hmm, yeah, it was pretty good”. All they have to do is be better than the prequels and people will be happy. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/5 "2015-09-12T02:22:56Z")
With _Star Wars_, nostalgia works, what can you say? The prequels were perfectly good movies, but they get trashed because they were not the Originals…people want to see _Han and Chewie, Hip Replacement Surgery_, not anything fresh. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/6 "2015-09-12T02:33:06Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Meh, what’s left in motives for bad guys these days? > All the Marvel and James Bond flicks seem to have the same problem. They’re running out of unique villians. They’re either power hungry or bent on revenge. Or they’re batshit crayzeee OHMYGAWDDD!!! > [@](#): > > I think they’ll hit the right marks with this one with just enough for the masses to say “hmm, yeah, it was pretty good”. > All they have to do is be better than the prequels and people will be happy. Yeh. Star Wars has been REDEEMED I cried!!! blahblahblah… ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/7 "2015-09-12T02:35:22Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > With _Star Wars_, nostalgia works, what can you say? The prequels were perfectly good movies, but they get trashed because they were not the Originals… If by “perfectly good movies” you mean “vomit with extra butyric acid,” then yeah, I totally agree with you!!! > [@](#): > > people want to see _Han and Chewie, Hip Replacement Surgery_, not anything fresh. Annnnd… I totally agree with you!!! ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/8 "2015-09-12T02:44:05Z")
I forget who likened Star Wars fans to domestic abuse victims, but he had a rather tasteless point. “But Star Wars is different now, it’s promised me it’s going to change, clean up its act! It’s never going to hurt me again, you’ll see, it’s going to love me and we’ll be together forever, just like we first were”. I think most of the OH MAN THIS IS GOING TO BE SO GREAT STAR WARS IS REALLY BACK stuff comes from fans battered by the prequels but trying to convince themselves that this time it’s going to be different. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/9 "2015-09-12T02:48:30Z")
The issue is that the original **Star Wars** came out with no expectation. It was a young man’s film by someone recreating 1930s style adventure films. Now the expectations mean it will probably be ponderous and fraught, especially since **Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull** , which tried to do what the original **Star Wars** did, got hammered. (For the record, I think the refrigerator was an absolutely brilliant setpiece, perfectly in the spirit of the films it was emulating. So what if it wasn’t logical or even possible – it was fun and it worked.) ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/10 "2015-09-12T02:52:10Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > I forget who likened Star Wars fans to domestic abuse victims, but he had a rather tasteless point. “But Star Wars is different now, it’s promised me it’s going to change, clean up its act! It’s never going to hurt me again, you’ll see, it’s going to love me and we’ll be together forever, just like we first were”. I think most of the OH MAN THIS IS GOING TO BE SO GREAT STAR WARS IS REALLY BACK stuff comes from fans battered by the prequels but trying to convince themselves that this time it’s going to be different. Totally. Look, the original trilogy was a product of its time, and that’s why it was cool. 70s ‘n’ 80s. You can’t get that back. You.CAN’T.get.that.back. It’s been 35+ years since RotJ. Deal. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/11 "2015-09-12T02:57:04Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > The issue is that the original **Star Wars** came out with no expectation. It was a young man’s film by someone recreating 1930s style adventure films. Yeah, that’s why it worked. It was Space Opera writ large with some 70s sophistication thrown in (e.g., Vader has to defer to Tarkin, the Emperor is not seen, etc.). > [@](#): > > Now the expectations mean it will probably be ponderous and fraught, especially since **Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull** , which tried to do what the original **Star Wars** did, got hammered. Well, it couldn’t do that, since it was dragging RotLA behind it. > [@](#): > > (For the record, I think the refrigerator was an absolutely brilliant setpiece, perfectly in the spirit of the films it was emulating. So what if it wasn’t logical or even possible – it was fun and it worked.) If I squint, I can kinda see it, but there was no such thing as a “lead-lined” refrigerator (shown so you know he won’t die of radiation poisoning–doh!), and the shock wave and ensuing bouncin’ around would have killed his ass a hundred times over–just from what was _shown_ on screen. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/12 "2015-09-12T02:58:47Z")
Here’s my contribution to the anti-anticipation: I didn’t know it was coming. Now I know. I’m sorry that several brain cells have had to be sacrificed to contain that information. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/13 "2015-09-12T03:10:09Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Here’s my contribution to the anti-anticipation: I didn’t know it was coming. Now I know. I’m sorry that several brain cells have had to be sacrificed to contain that information. You’re still doing better than the rest of us, it seems. ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/14 "2015-09-13T02:07:32Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > With _Star Wars_, nostalgia works, what can you say? The prequels were perfectly good movies, but they get trashed because they were not the Originals…people want to see _Han and Chewie, Hip Replacement Surgery_, not anything fresh. No, the prequels were terrible, terrible, _ **terrible** _ movies. Not just ‘not what the fans wanted’, not just ‘annoying new stuff’, and not just Jar-Jar, they were badly made films. The effects technology was bare-none but the scripts/dialog and acting was stilted, wooden, uninspired, clunky, and sometimes downright awful. The prequels were exactly what Star Wars films are not supposed to be: Soulless, heartless, empty shell compilations of video game cut scenes. And the blame lands clearly on Lucas’ head. He had not directed a film since the original _Star Wars_ in '77 and it showed. Say what you will about JJ Abrams but the guy knows how to tell a story visually, which is what the original _Star Wars_ was all about. I’m still looking forward to having my 16-year-old memory of first seeing _Phantom Menace_ permanently redacted! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/15 "2015-09-13T02:59:12Z")
I’ve fortunately managed to escape most of the buzz (and I know the trailers and such are out there if I look for them, but I haven’t bothered), but I’ve had low expectations for this movie ever since I found out they’d gotten Abrams to direct it. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/16 "2015-09-13T04:02:20Z")
Exactly. Abrams is really good at producing flashy, colorful movies full of quips, action, and noise. If that’s all you want, fine. But he does this at the expense of character, plot, coherence, and logic. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/17 "2015-09-13T04:23:45Z")
I don’t care at all. I stopped caring about Star Wars sometime midway thru _Phantom Menace_. _Star Wars_\* was a fantastic, fun film but it’s been a steady decline ever since. \*No, I don’t mean _A New Hope_; fuck that shit. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/18 "2015-09-13T06:13:42Z")
> [@Hail\_Ants](#): > > No, the prequels were terrible, terrible, _ **terrible** _ movies. Not just ‘not what the fans wanted’, not just ‘annoying new stuff’, and not just Jar-Jar, they were badly made films. The effects technology was bare-none but the scripts/dialog and acting was stilted, wooden, uninspired, clunky, and sometimes downright awful. The prequels were exactly what Star Wars films are not supposed to be: Soulless, heartless, empty shell compilations of video game cut scenes. And the blame lands clearly on Lucas’ head. He had not directed a film since the original _Star Wars_ in '77 and it showed. All those complaints (especially about wooden acting) can be directed at the Originals as well. Cushing, Guinness were very good, but besides Ford in ESB none of the leads ever rose beyond mediocre. Hamil in the ANH was cringe worthy at times. ---
**Author:** ![magnusblitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@magnusblitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magnusblitz)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/19 "2015-09-13T06:51:41Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > • There’s not even the hint of a story yet that could be any fuckin’ good. Just a retread of Dark! vs. Light! Struggle! Yawn Part Deux, Electric Boogaloo. Um, good? I don’t really want to know about the story. I want to go into it blind. Trailers and teasers overload and give away far too much these days. I agree with others that I’m a bit down on it since I’ve never really loved anything by JJ Abrams (the Star Trek movies are entertaining but also flawed) but I’m willing to give it a chance. Having a John Williams score alone will help tons. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762/20 "2015-09-13T06:55:04Z")
Of course, the big question on everyone’s mind is: How are they going to shoe-horn Boba-Fett into the new movie? Ya GOTS to have some Boba Fett! Because. . .because. . .actually, I don’t know why. His armor looks good? He was in 2 of the first 3 movies filmed, and he only had 4 lines. Well, 5 lines if you include, “AAAAaaaaaahhhhh. . .” as a blind Han Solo accidentally knocks him into the [del]sandworm[/del] sarlacc pit. But he looks so cool, they included him and his father in the prequels as a major part of the plot. After all, if there’s one thing people want right after seeing Darth Vader as a child, that’s seeing Boba Fett as a child. Hey, I understand that in some shit novelization, Fett escapes the sarlacc. Let’s keep our fingers crossed. We may see him return and utter a couple more simple sentences, or a scream or 2. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-episode-vii-anti-anticipation-thread/730762.md?page=2)