# Star Wars question. SPOOFE and others, wanna take a shot? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 4, 2001, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472 "2001-06-04T02:48:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/21 "2001-06-05T00:02:39Z")
Sorry, **SPOOFE**. Can’t buy that either. Clearly, the empire has fast deploy technology. Look at the damn doors! Try getting under one of those when it’s moving. Think the empire has safety interlocks on those? I’m doubtful. So I don’t think the ‘slow deploy’ argument holds water. But I think you are right about no better shot with it deployed. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/22 "2001-06-05T02:12:09Z")
I don’t know why the rebels blew up the Death Star to begin with, the place was an OSHA nightmare. There were bridges and ledges with no safety railings. Guys are practically walking in the tunnel where the beam shoots out to blow up Alderaan, and there’s not even a blinking light to warn them. Don’t be cleaning the garbage chute at the wrong time, there’s no safety lockout on the crusher. And Jonathan Chance is right about the doors, one of those things would flatten you like a bug. They should have left the Death Star alone. It would have taken out thousands of troopers a month just in accidents. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/23 "2001-06-05T02:29:36Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Drastic_ > I always wondered how it was Wedge stayed employed with them. You just know in the battles that never made it onto the screen, he repeatedly did things like, “I was very nearly hit! I spilled my soda, I’ve got to abort!” I think you just answered your own question. “There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold pilots.” I also just have to post a link to the [Brunching Shuttlecocks’](http://www.brunching.com) [Ratings: Star Wars Villains](http://www.brunching.com/ratings/rate-swvillains.html) page, especially the item on Imperial Stormtroopers: > [@](#): > > **Stormtroopers** > “Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise,” said Obi-Wan in one of his less stunningly accurate pronouncements. Obi must have gotten a little too much sun during his Tattooine holiday, because as the rest of the movie shows Imperial Stormtroopers couldn’t hit the sidewalk with a can of paint. If that’s not bad enough, they’re also easily intimidated and dumber than monkey chow. Still, they’ve got nifty uniforms and there’s buttloads of them, so they make excellent fodder for the good guys. **B-** ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/24 "2001-06-05T05:27:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > IT WAS A MOVIE!! > Set in a place far far away, in a time long long ago. And it’s being picked apart for battle plans?? Is the Pentagon studying this film to plan for it’s invasion of China? Oh my God, how did you know?!! Don’t let it out – it’s top secret… The fighters won’t be heading strgaight for Beijing. Instead, they approach from the west, avoid the surface-to-air rice missiles from the peasant lands. The lead pilot will make an approach along the Great Wall of China, with other squadron members covering him from directly behind. When he approaches target Beijing, he will deploy his missiles down a manhole, where they will make their way through the sewer tunnels to the palace, setting off a chain reaction that will destroy the country. Any questions? 🙂 Obi Won Ton, you’re my only hope… ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/25 "2001-06-05T08:02:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Clearly, the empire has fast deploy technology. Look at the damn doors! Nope, sorry, can’t draw a direct correlation between door closure times and bridge deployment times (believe me, I considered this when writing my post). Just think for a second… how much more distance does the bridge have to cover before it links up with the opposite side? The amount of stablization one would need to ensure that the bridge didn’t wobble or jitter in the slightest when shooting across the chasm at 60 KPH wouldn’t be worth it. It’s a friggin’ BRIDGE! Additionally, the only time we saw a door close with any frightening amount of speed was once in _Empire Strikes Back_, from some sort of grating on Cloud City (and that was probably an area of the city that wasn’t used very often). Other times, doors closed at a nice, liesurely pace… look at the blast doors that Han jumped through, those took a good five or six seconds to close completely (not entirely sure, we don’t see the whole thing). ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/26 "2001-06-05T08:20:44Z")
\ Y’all are picking nits. I _KNEW_ you’d do the ame thing to SW as you do to Trek. I win! No reasonable explanation. nya nya! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/27 "2001-06-05T08:57:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\* > There is no evidence that the Imperials would have been able to detect a droid-piloted starship as such > \*\* As John McLaughlin would say, **WRONG!** Recall the brief conversation between the two imperial gunners when the droids were headed for Tatooine in the escape pod: Gunner #1: “There goes another one.” (Prepares to fire) Gunner #2: “Hold your fire…no life signs. Must’ve been a malfunction.” From this we can derive that the Imps would have known whether or not the shuttle was actually piloted. That is, if someone had thought to check for a life form reading. * * * My brothers and sisters all hated me, 'cuz I was an only child… ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/28 "2001-06-05T10:25:44Z")
Oh, please, **Weird\_AL\_Einstein** , to suggest that I forgot a part of the Star Wars series is an insult worthy of the Pit. I eat, drink, breath, sleep, and masturbate Star Wars. I said that they can’t detect droids. Your example simply demonstrates that they can detect a lack of lifeforms. Additionally, we have no reason to think that a false life-sign reading couldn’t be generated… we know that they have the technology to mask life-signs (and that the technology is cheap enough that a relatively down-on-his-luck smuggler can get his hands on them), so it’s not too much of a stretch to assume that the technology exists to replicate false life-sign readings, as well. Dave… > [@](#): > > Y’all are picking nits. I _KNEW_ you’d do the ame thing to SW as you do to Trek. I win! No reasonable explanation. nya nya! “No reasonable explanation” my eye. What’s unreasonable about “They’d get blowed up if they didn’t follow the trench”? But I’ll tell you what… tell me what’s unreasonable about my explanation, and I’ll tell you why you’re wrong. 😃 (Damn Trekkies… I always have to clean up the messes they leave behind…) ---
**Author:** ![Shortie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Shortie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shortie)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/29 "2001-06-05T10:50:00Z")
Don’t have much to add, except for some funky cartoons: Death Star mkIII: [http://www.ibiblio.org/Dave/Dr-Fun/df200104/df20010402.jpg](http://www.ibiblio.org/Dave/Dr-Fun/df200104/df20010402.jpg) What they’re doing inside the DS instead of shooting at fighters: [http://www.jediknight.net/3do/download/72.gif](http://www.jediknight.net/3do/download/72.gif) Why Stormtroopers can’t hit anything: [http://www.jediknight.net/3do/download/70.gif](http://www.jediknight.net/3do/download/70.gif) **Weirddave** , the reason they don’t all make like the Falcon is because they’d be exposed to hundreds of surface guns, rather than the handful that can fire down the trench. The disadvantage is that they’re vulnerable to fighters, but considering how few were sent out, if not for Vader they’d have had it easy. The Falcon would have been great for covering fire in the trench, the turrets can fire backwards, and it’s tough enough to survive for longer. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/30 "2001-06-05T12:51:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Clearly, the empire has fast deploy technology. Look at the damn doors! > > Nope, sorry, can’t draw a direct correlation between door closure times and bridge deployment times (believe me, I considered this when writing my post). Just think for a second… how much more distance does the bridge have to cover before it links up with the opposite side? The amount of stablization one would need to ensure that the bridge didn’t wobble or jitter in the slightest when shooting across the chasm at 60 KPH wouldn’t be worth it. It’s a friggin’ BRIDGE! > > Additionally, the only time we saw a door close with any frightening amount of speed was once in _Empire Strikes Back_, from some sort of grating on Cloud City (and that was probably an area of the city that wasn’t used very often). Other times, doors closed at a nice, liesurely pace… look at the blast doors that Han jumped through, those took a good five or six seconds to close completely (not entirely sure, we don’t see the whole thing). \*\* **SPOOFE** , you know I love you, right? That said, the doors are clearly shown closing at warp speed not 6 inches behind Luke in A New Hope. The sequence in the office, just above the hanger bay where the Millenium Falcon was housed. The place where the imperial officer says “We’ve got another bad transmitter, I’m going down to URK!” or some such. So we DO have evidence that those damn doors are coming down like the doors on a Parisian subway car (of which I was warned last time I was there. Get out of its way or lose a limb.) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/31 "2001-06-05T17:40:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*No, can’t buy that. > > While it’s true that the imperials WANTED Luke, Leia and company to get away I don’t think the troops in the field (or the TIE pilots) knew that was the plan. Tarkin and Vader ain’t really the type to ‘share’ with subordinates, if you get my drift. > > I think they just accomplished their goals by sending too few troops to be mission-certain. Fits their psych profile, anyway. \*\* I can picture it now: the last TIE fighter of the group sent out to destroy the Millenium Falcon manages at the last second to avoid the turrent fighter, swing around to the side of the ship where the shielding is down, and blow them to kingdom come. The TIE pilot returns to the Death Star and reports to Darth Vader expecting to be commended for a job well done. “UURRK! Gaaasp! uuuuh…” \ ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/32 "2001-06-05T17:40:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*No, can’t buy that. > > While it’s true that the imperials WANTED Luke, Leia and company to get away I don’t think the troops in the field (or the TIE pilots) knew that was the plan. Tarkin and Vader ain’t really the type to ‘share’ with subordinates, if you get my drift. > > I think they just accomplished their goals by sending too few troops to be mission-certain. Fits their psych profile, anyway. \*\* I can picture it now: the last TIE fighter of the group sent out to destroy the Millenium Falcon manages at the last second to avoid the turrent fire, swing around to the side of the ship where the shielding is down, and blow them to kingdom come. The TIE pilot returns to the Death Star and reports to Darth Vader expecting to be commended for a job well done. “UURRK! Gaaasp! uuuuh…” \ ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/33 "2001-06-05T20:22:51Z")
> [@](#): > > There is no evidence that the Imperials would have been able to detect a droid-piloted starship as such. On the other hand, there is no evidence that they COULDN’T, either… but in either case, this is a moot point. My point wasn’t so much that they’d detect a droid via their sensors, but that the droid would sound like a droid – it’s pretty clear that anything with an artificial voice still sounds artificial in the SW setting. However, IIRC the ship was in fact scanned by techs aboard the _Executor_ when it approached. While such a scan wouldn’t be able to pick up specifics, there was a reason that their manifest was given as “parts and technical crew for the forest moon.” It matched with what the sensors would pick up: people (Rebel commandos) and equipment (hiking gear, detonite, and blasters). ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/34 "2001-06-16T23:36:02Z")
Johnathan… > [@](#): > > That said, the doors are clearly shown closing at warp speed not 6 inches behind Luke in A New Hope. The sequence in the office, just above the hanger bay where the Millenium Falcon was housed. The place where the imperial officer says “We’ve got another bad transmitter, I’m going down to URK!” or some such. Oop, you’re right, I do remember that now. However, other doorways on the Death Star are shown to be opening and closing at more of a snail’s pace. I’ve noted that the doors that open/close vertically are the ones that seem to move at lightning-quick speeds, while the ones that open/close horizontally move at a snail’s pace. However, my point about the greatly increased distance that the bridge would have to travel still stands. Cap’n… > [@](#): > > My point wasn’t so much that they’d detect a droid via their sensors, but that the droid would sound like a droid – it’s pretty clear that anything with an artificial voice still sounds artificial in the SW setting. Well, first off, not entirely true… although it wasn’t explicitly shown in the movies. Second, the voices over the transmitters sounded garbled and “metallic”, anyway. > [@](#): > > However, IIRC the ship was in fact scanned by techs aboard the Executor when it approached. While such a scan wouldn’t be able to pick up specifics, there was a reason that their manifest was given as “parts and technical crew for the forest moon.” It matched with what the sensors would pick up: people (Rebel commandos) and equipment (hiking gear, detonite, and blasters). Also true. However, I see no reason why false life signs couldn’t be manufactured. It would take a lot of effort, but seeing as how this was the most important battle for the Rebellion, I think they would have made the effort. The best reason I can think of why they didn’t try this approach would have been because the shuttle would have been blown out of the sky as soon as it started its suicide run. ---
**Author:** ![Swede\_Hollow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Swede\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swede_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/35 "2001-06-17T00:53:21Z")
I think the difference in door closing speed is related to who might use the doors. Doors near command areas and landing pads close slowly for the slow admirals/generals and places where the ‘rabble’ (i.e. lower ranks) work the doors close fast. I think the Empire may have had an overpopulation problem that they were trying to alleviate. Another poor tactic for the Rebels is their need to wait for the enemy to get in a position to attack before they open fire. Look at the opening sequence from A New Hope. When the door blew open and the stormtroopers entered Leia’s ship through that 2 foot wide opening the rebels could have killed one or two of them and their bodies would have blocked up the hole for the others trying to follow. This is repeated when Luke and Han rescue Princess Leia. The stormtroopers are coming out of a hole in an ELEVATOR DOOR! Again, one or two dead stormtroopers at the hole would have blocked it for the remaining three or four troopers that could have fit into the elevator. BUT NOOOOO! Five or six stormtroopers climbing through a small hole in the door are able to push back and hold down Luke, Leia, Han and Chewy. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/36 "2001-06-17T09:32:32Z")
> [@](#): > > I think the difference in door closing speed is related to who might use the doors. Doors near command areas and landing pads close slowly for the slow admirals/generals and places where the ‘rabble’ (i.e. lower ranks) work the doors close fast. I think the Empire may have had an overpopulation problem that they were trying to alleviate. Actually, I thought it might be a security measure… but then I remember a THIRD instance in ANH (boy, was I REALLY off in that post!) right before the chasm scene… Luke & Leia are about to be blasted, Leia hits the door controls, and the door zooms down REALLY quickly. It seems like Lucas just did the “super-fast door” thing simply whenever it seemed cool. Here’s a curiosity… in the Death Star landing bay control room, Luke closed the main doors and it zoomed down really, really quick. But, when it was opened earlier (and when it’s opened later in the movie) it opens slowly. Huh?!? Wouldn’t it be smarter for it to open quickly, and close slowly? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/37 "2001-06-17T13:44:19Z")
Back from San Antonio, enjoying SW stuff… **SPOOFE** , remember, the doors that close slowly all appear to be near areas that would need a ‘quick seal’ thing as a safety interlock. The air passages, near landing bays, etc. So if something went wrong they could seal off those compartments quickly, thereby preserving the personnel inside until things could be put to rights. Now, I realize that the most likely angle here is that Lucas did it when it was cool (and, honestly, I seem to recall hearing an interview from Mark H about having to stand still for 5 seconds after hitting the door button as the door closed slowly). But I’m certain we can make this work if we want to. ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/38 "2001-06-17T19:16:29Z")
I was going to post to this, but to be perfectly honest, I haven’t posted to any Star Wars threads or will post to any Star Wars threads because **SPOOFE** is in them. Me and **SPOOFE** just clash too much when it comes to talk of the Millenium Falcon and who was a better pilot. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/39 "2001-06-18T00:10:08Z")
Hey Spoofe, I think I’ve figured out why Stormtroopers are perceived as smart and precise by the older generation of Rebels, but stupid and slow by the younger. It is established that the Stormtroopers are all clones of the ‘best’ Stormtroopers pre-clonewars, right? Perhaps the Stormtroopers base clone material is degrading and their abilities are also. This could be happening slowly enough that it’s not really noticed by command. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472/40 "2001-06-18T02:20:40Z")
> [@](#): > > It is established that the Stormtroopers are all clones of the ‘best’ Stormtroopers pre-clonewars, right? Uh… wrong. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-question-spoofe-and-others-wanna-take-a-shot/67472.md?page=3)