# Star Wars: What if Darth Vader Were a Woman? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 18, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032 "2011-10-18T13:25:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/1 "2011-10-18T13:25:30Z")
Picture the same costume but one obviously built around a woman’s shape - same total coverage, not “sexy Vader”. Hell, James Earl Jones could still do the voice with Darth being more machine and all. Is it better this way? It seems to me like there’s more mileage to get out of the story with a gender swap. I’d certainly understand Luke’s reluctance more, and it would really be something to see a female Darth in charge and force choking underlings. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/2 "2011-10-18T13:51:12Z")
Give it twenty years and Lucas will CGI it in. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/3 "2011-10-18T13:53:54Z")
The name, then, would be Darth Moeder. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/4 "2011-10-18T13:55:11Z")
“I’m your mother, Luke” …nah, that just doesn’t work at all. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/5 "2011-10-18T13:58:13Z")
On the upside, some joke potential: “Yo momma’s so ugly, they made her wear a black face mask 24/7!” ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/6 "2011-10-18T14:11:00Z")
> [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](#): > > “I’m your mother, Luke” > > …nah, that just doesn’t work at all. Sure it does, if you get it right. Darth Vader: Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your mother. Luke Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me you killed her! Darth Vader: No. I am your mother. Luke Skywalker: No… that’s not true! That’s impossible! See, to me, that’s really fucked up in a good way. ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/7 "2011-10-18T14:26:42Z")
“You never call.” “You kissed Leia?! I’ve got something to tell you.” “When you gonna quit playing Jedi and go to law school?” Starring Maya Angelou as the voice of Darth Moeder. hat tip to Sr Siete. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/8 "2011-10-18T15:54:14Z")
Personally, I always pictured Darth Vader like [this.](http://lh5.ggpht.com/_5eY0c1g-zJw/SgjMC3Ah89I/AAAAAAAAAEg/jmqHp0CKYaI/cool%20star%20wars%20photo%20pink%20darth%20vader%20hello%20kitty%5B11%5D.jpg?imgmax=800) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/9 "2011-10-18T16:01:20Z")
Well, in the suggested version, when Darth’s TIE fighter careens off into space just before the Death Star explodes, it gets back to base faster because the female Darth doesn’t hesitate to stop and ask for directions. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/10 "2011-10-18T16:47:31Z")
Is the Emperor a woman too? Is the Sith a First-Wives’-Club sort of deal? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/11 "2011-10-18T16:52:20Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Sure it does, if you get it right. > > Darth Vader: Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your mother. > Luke Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me you killed her! > Darth Vader: No. I am your mother. > Luke Skywalker: No… that’s not true! That’s impossible! Darth: It is. Oh, and your father died of a broken heart. We’re still not sure how that’s possible. ---
**Author:** ![sco3tt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@sco3tt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sco3tt)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/12 "2011-10-18T16:57:53Z")
Maybe Darth Moeder would [look like this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RgMsy7B1UQ&feature=player_detailpage#t=38s). ---
**Author:** ![Lare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@Lare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lare)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/13 "2011-10-18T16:59:15Z")
Any possibility that Obi-Wan would be the father then? Now it gets interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/14 "2011-10-18T17:08:39Z")
And would we get a 14 year old King Amydala hitting on an 8 year old Anna Skywalker? I bet this would make the prequels even more universally loved! ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/15 "2011-10-18T17:18:43Z")
After the success of the rebellion Luke became rich by publishing a tell all bio called… “Mommie Darthiest” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/16 "2011-10-18T17:21:16Z")
It might have been _The Star Wars Mother’s Day Special_ that aired only once. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/17 "2011-10-18T17:35:38Z")
It would be _really_ hard for Darth Moeder to be unaware of the existence of a son and daughter. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/18 "2011-10-18T17:48:00Z")
There was an antediluvian webcomic that did the ‘I am your mother’ bit in a one-shot panel. Brunching Shuttlecocks, maybe? The unaware bit is easy enough to take care of, with a little soap opera plotting. The Emperor (or whoever) told her one (or both) of the twins died. Of course, this is George Lucas. Maybe some combination of (more soap opera) AMNESIA!! and CGI muppets? Honestly, I don’t think it changes much, beyond whatever novelty might be left to “female villain physically fights male hero.” Darth already had the ‘it wasn’t her fault she turned evil’ bit that female villains tend to get, even. – Who’d do her voice? I can’t think of a female VA offhand who does a sufficiently amazing non-vamp villain voice. Can SHODAN’s VA (the insane AI, not the poster) actually act without the scary stutter effect? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/19 "2011-10-18T18:44:31Z")
We wouldn’t have had to wait until _Black Swan_ to see Natalie Portman in a lesbian scene. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032/20 "2011-10-18T19:02:33Z")
[QUOTE=Half Man Half Wit] “I’m your mother, Luke” …nah, that just doesn’t work at all. [/QUOTE] > [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Sure it does, if you get it right. > > Darth Vader: Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your mother. > Luke Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me you killed her! > Darth Vader: No. I am your mother. > Luke Skywalker: No… that’s not true! That’s impossible! > > See, to me, that’s really fucked up in a good way. I know in the alternative situation proposed by the OP, it’s supposed to be established at the beginning that Darth is female. However, I think it’s more fun if that’s not the case–just let it be assumed Darth’s a guy. That way in the scene where Luke finds out, you get the double-whammy of not only finding out Darth is Luke’s parent but also a woman. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/star-wars-what-if-darth-vader-were-a-woman/600032.md?page=2)