Here are 1300 posts on Starship development history & the SpaceX way of doing things.
The short version is SpaceX is far more willing to screw up in public & learn quickly and cheaply.
Whether they have the balance at the optimal point is certainly debateable.
That they are aiming for a learning curve utterly incomparable to NASA is fact; uncontroversial fact.
You (OP) have also made a false comparison between NASA manned systems and SpaceX unmanned systems.
So far SpaceX manned systems are outperforming NASA manned systems as to reliability. From an admittedly small baseline.
And SpaceX’s unmanned success rate dwarfs NASA’s over the decades. Not so much in the last decade, but NASA is now mostly flying 50yo mature unmanned designs. You’d hope by then they’d have nade them reliable.