# Startling discovery: It \*is\* hard to make new friends as an adult. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134 "2011-07-15T15:27:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134/81 "2011-07-21T01:48:18Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > The Mart? Merchandise Mart ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134/82 "2011-07-21T01:59:00Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Merchandise Mart “Your fugitive’s name is _Doctor_ Richard Kimble.” Stranger ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134/83 "2011-07-21T02:03:12Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > My other best friends live in the UK and all over the US. I still have other friends in Seoul, of course, but I only have a few friends in my life that I would completely trust with anything, and now they’re all scattered to the four winds. ☹ You went to college in the US, right? Or grew up here partially, right? Why not move back! The boyfriend is a US citizen and you guys have been meaning to get married so do it and move back here 🙂 Problem fixed 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134/84 "2011-07-21T02:16:25Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Merchandise Mart Ah. I seriously didn’t mean to make a “force people to hang out with MOL because she’s alone in a new city and kind of pathetic” thread, but here we are. Seriously now, I haven’t a shy bone in my body, and am pretty much game for anything. If someone wants to drink and/or Scrabble with me, let’s do this shit. ---
**Author:** ![bahimes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@bahimes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bahimes)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134/85 "2011-07-21T12:41:16Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I moved every 2-4 years from 1967 until 1998, and all over the world, and regret none of it. In the ten years we lived in Anchorage, I only made acquaintances, but nobody I really wanted to hang with. … Me too. Dad was an itinerant Air Conditioning engineer. Went to 8 schools before I dodged the draft in 68 by joining the Navy. Now finishing a 1 year assignment in Baghdad, with a follow on to Vienna. In the Foreign Service (and the Navy) we seem to easily make acquaintences, but friends are a more difficult proposition. After Vienna, we go to the house in Spain, where the wife will finally get to visit the Alhambra. After that…? Making new friends IS tough, **MOL** , but we are going to do our damnedest (in two languages).😃 Hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134/86 "2011-07-21T13:23:12Z")
Meh. I’m not looking for soul mates here, I don’t need all this super emotional closeness - just folks I can call and say “Hey, let’s do this.” That number has recently increased from 1.5 people two 2.0, but that’s only because I have two .5s. But that’s okay. I’ve decided I’m going to take the necessary steps toward becoming an old cat lady. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134/87 "2011-07-21T13:52:22Z")
My problem is that I’m exhausted after working and commuting. The _last_ thing I want to do, when I get home, is get in my car and drive anywhere. When I was in college, I lived on campus, and didn’t have to drive to get to somewhere where I could hang out with other people. I miss those days. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134/88 "2011-07-25T05:35:25Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I’ve decided I’m going to take the necessary steps toward becoming an old cat lady. You mean, you are going to buy canned cat food by the palletful and give all of your collection of over a hundred feral cats individual names from Disney cartoons? I mean, it’s a plan, but it isn’t any more original than plunking down a prefab cabin in Montana and sending your stream-of-consciousness manifesto about the plight of the Samoan Warbler to The New Yorker for publication. We expect better, or at least more creative, from you. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134/89 "2011-07-25T16:38:59Z")
They wouldn’t be feral, no. Well none of my other plans were terribly creative either, so I’ve abandoned them. Among them were adhering to a strict diet of dark rums and red wines, and suddenly, on somewhat of a whim that I was determined to take seriously, relocating to a strange and windy place where I have no family or real friends. These would, of course, both be terrible choices so I’ve taken to adding to my household several loveable friends, including Bruno, Ariel, Shere Khan, Gideon, and my favorite little scamp, Mrs. Potts. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134/90 "2011-07-25T17:17:05Z")
It is really freakin’ hard! I am not shy and I am generally really outgoing. And I am nice. And I don’t smell. But man…I move a lot for work roughly every 18 months- 2 years and I am in the middle of yet another move from CA to OK. I have lots of friends in the UK and in various other places around the world but generally over here in the US I have work aquantainces and that is it. I am going to get off my ass in OK and find something I like to do to meet people - I am not goign to be travelling 6 days a week in this job like that last 2 which should help. I am determined to get my life back! I will not be found surrounded by empty vodka bottles and my cat collection when I die. I refuse. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/startling-discovery-it-is-hard-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult/589134.md?page=4)