# StarWars fanwank question **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215 "2008-04-06T20:32:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/41 "2008-04-07T16:43:11Z")
Okay, having just re-wasted more of my life watching the first three again on Spike… The Trade Federation guys (ethnic stereotype-speaking badguys from Ep I) were controlling their droid army on Naboo from a kinda-sorta Death Star-ish spaceship. Ep II, the Trade Federation guys have the plans for the Death Star, which Count Dooku then flies to Coruscant. Ep III, the leaders of the Trade Federation get Anakin’d. And then the new Empire goes to war against them as Separatists – although they’re still apparently taking orders from Palpatine, since he mentions something to one of his underlings about deactivating their droid armies. So… was the Death Star actually built by the Empire? Or by the Separatists/Trade Federation? 'Cause Palpatine was in charge of _both_ by that point. And since he’d gutted their leadership, he probably had a much freer hand with the resources of the Trade Federation. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/42 "2008-04-07T17:12:25Z")
And of course on analysis, the only viable conclusion is that none of this make any sense whatsoever. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/43 "2008-04-07T17:14:47Z")
The answer to the OP is simple. The 2nd one was quicker because the Emperor didn’t realize he had entered “2” under quantity on the order form before going to the checkout page. Like others have said, a lot of the details got ironed out on the first one: Saleslady:“What shape you want, hon? Cube?” Tarkin: “No, I don’t want to deal with a lot of ‘resistance is futile’ jokes.” Saleslady:“What about a big slab?” Tarkin: “No. Then it’ll just be ‘It’s full of stars!’ all day long.” Saleslady:“Well, I see you’re looking at the sphere. It’s a good basic shape and all, but everyone’s gonna think it’s a small moon. Hardly terrifying.” Tarkin: “No one’s going to think it’s a moon! Geez.” Saleslady: “OK, I’ll put you down for a sphere, then. Do you want to go for the exhaust port protection plan?” Tarkin: “No thanks, just the big gun is all.” Saleslady: “I gotta tell ya. You get rebel fighters buzzin’ around your exhaust port and you could be lookin’ at a lot of damage real quick.” Tarkin: “I think you overestimate their chances!” ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/44 "2008-04-07T17:24:49Z")
Okay, fine. Obviously, the Emperor waited to buy until that year’s model went on clearance and he got his during a two-for-one sale at the Coruscant Deathstarmart. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/45 "2008-04-07T17:42:04Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] The unions were obviously alien-inspired-and-covertly-led organizations designed to weaken the Empire from within so that out-galaxy groups (read alien races) could invade and enslave the pseudohumans. Why do you hate the Empire so much, citizen?! [/QUOTE] :: points accusingly at **Zebra** :: Rebel! _Rebel scum!_ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/46 "2008-04-07T18:04:33Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] So… was the Death Star actually built by the Empire? Or by the Separatists/Trade Federation? 'Cause Palpatine was in charge of _both_ by that point. And since he’d gutted their leadership, he probably had a much freer hand with the resources of the Trade Federation. [/QUOTE] In the Extended Universe (which IS canon, I believe), the Death Star was Tarkin’s pet project (overseen by his pet admiral, Daala), developed by a team of scientists and engineers in the Maw Installation (a region of space that’s protected from intrusion by virtue of being in the middle of a large black hole grouping). ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/47 "2008-04-07T18:16:59Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] In the Extended Universe (which IS canon, I believe), the Death Star was Tarkin’s pet project (overseen by his pet admiral, Daala), developed by a team of scientists and engineers in the Maw Installation (a region of space that’s protected from intrusion by virtue of being in the middle of a large black hole grouping). [/QUOTE] And the may is located near the spicemines of Kessel. Making the Kessel run in 12 parsecs means that you cut dangerously close to the black holes instead of taking the longer, safer, and slower way. /fanwank ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/48 "2008-04-07T20:08:01Z")
[QUOTE=Darth Sensitive] And the may is located near the spicemines of Kessel. Making the Kessel run in 12 parsecs means that you cut dangerously close to the black holes instead of taking the longer, safer, and slower way. /fanwank [/QUOTE] I’ve always liked this explanation, since I never otherwise get the impression that Han is ignorant about space travel. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/49 "2008-04-07T20:12:23Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] Isn’t R&D usually faster for improvements on an existing platform than it is on getting the platform itself up and running? You can figure out what adjustments need to be made for the energizing components more quickly than you can actually plan and create the energizing component itself. [/QUOTE] Yes, but it seems quite obvious that technology has regressed during the years from the ending of ROTS, to ANH. Now, one _could_ argue that this was because so much was being sucked up by the building of the _first_ DS, but then, you’re left with wondering how the hell they could have built a second one, because folks _really_ would have started getting pissed at not having anything at this point. I don’t think that one could say that they were building both DSs at the same time, as the dialoge in ANH indicates pretty clearly that the Imperial folks didn’t see much need to have another one. (This station is now the ultimate power in the universe.) Finally, having it designed and built starting some 20+ years before it’s needed shows a level of planning and foresight that Palpy clearly _lacked_. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_B.Phart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Capt\_B.Phart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_B.Phart)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/50 "2008-04-07T20:17:03Z")
[QUOTE=Soul] To echo **Revenant Threshold** , fully operational didn’t mean fully completed. The frame was put up, it had a big ass gun, but it likely didn’t have flush toilets yet 😛 [/QUOTE] [Plus the V2.0 software was buggy as hell](http://www.comedybox.tv/picks-10119) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/51 "2008-04-07T20:17:42Z")
[QUOTE=Speaker for the Dead] I’ve always liked this explanation, since I never otherwise get the impression that Han is ignorant about space travel. [/QUOTE] As fanwanks go, it’s the gold standard, baby. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/52 "2008-04-07T21:10:26Z")
Okay, question for those who have the scripts memorized. How do we know the DeathStar #2 took a shorter time to build? Maybe when DeathStar #1 blew up, the second one was already 10 years into construction. Any evidence to the contrary? ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/53 "2008-04-07T21:18:28Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] The second one took longer because they had to install all those railings. [/QUOTE] Post of the day, right here. Thanks for that, \*\*Bryan \*\*- I needed it. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/54 "2008-04-07T21:36:42Z")
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad] Saleslady: “OK, I’ll put you down for a sphere, then. Do you want to go for the exhaust port protection plan?” Tarkin: “No thanks, just the big gun is all.” Saleslady: “I gotta tell ya. You get rebel fighters buzzin’ around your exhaust port and you could be lookin’ at a lot of damage real quick.” Tarkin: “I think you overestimate their chances!” [/QUOTE] Bravo. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/55 "2008-04-07T22:03:38Z")
[QUOTE=Peter Morris] Okay, question for those who have the scripts memorized. How do we know the DeathStar #2 took a shorter time to build? Maybe when DeathStar #1 blew up, the second one was already 10 years into construction. Any evidence to the contrary? [/QUOTE] From the crawl: > [@](#): > > Little does Luke know that the GALACTIC > EMPIRE has secretly _ **begun construction** _ on a > new armored space station even more powerful > than the first dreaded Death Star. Emphasis added. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/56 "2008-04-07T22:35:46Z")
Okay, I see what you mean, but it would still be correct to say that they have begun construction if construction started 10 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/57 "2008-04-07T22:45:09Z")
[QUOTE=Darth Sensitive] And the may is located near the spicemines of Kessel. Making the Kessel run in 12 parsecs means that you cut dangerously close to the black holes instead of taking the longer, safer, and slower way. /fanwank [/QUOTE] So then how is that an appropriate response to “Is it fast?” ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/58 "2008-04-07T22:49:21Z")
[QUOTE=Just Some Guy] So then how is that an appropriate response to “Is it fast?” [/QUOTE] It could cut that much closer to the black holes with a margin of safety! ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/59 "2008-04-08T00:52:36Z")
It’s really quite simple. The Death Star in Episode VI was the first to reach the size of a small moon and have the firepower to wipe out a planet. The plans for the Death Star we see in Ep II, and the initial stages of construction we see of it in Ep III (18 years or so prior to Ep IV), are of much smaller things not rendered in perspective but actually as big as shown on screen. For example, here’s a [screen cap](http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/e/ed/250px-Vaderrots.jpeg) of one of the end scenes from _Revenge of the Sith_ where Vader and Palpy are looking out at a Death Star being built. It’s not some huge thing off in space; it’s right outside that window, and about the size of a beach ball. I mean, if _I_ were developing some terrible new weapon, I’d want some prototypes first to work out the design flaws, and I’m certainly not going to invest the gazillions of spacebucks to build a moon-sized one on the first go. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215/60 "2008-04-08T04:47:39Z")
[QUOTE=robardin] …Vader and Palpy are looking out at a Death Star being built. It’s not some huge thing off in space; it’s right outside that window, and about the size of a beach ball… [/QUOTE] Interesting theory. Maybe the Galactic Empire hired the same production team which built the Stonehenge model for Spinal Tap? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/starwars-fanwank-question/444215.md?page=4)