# State of the Onion **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 30, 2003, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587 "2003-01-30T12:14:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/41 "2003-01-31T14:35:24Z")
**Area pubis shorn** was also a good one. As was **Child abuse: how much is too much?** :eek: ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/42 "2003-02-02T06:45:13Z")
Hebert Kornfeld \> everything else on the Onion ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/43 "2003-02-02T06:59:25Z")
[GrumpyOldMan] Ahhh, the Onion jumped the shark when it went to color graphics in about '91 [/GrumpyOldMan] **Monk Gloats Over Yoga Championship** was a pretty good article though, as was the whole “Election 2000” series ( **Clinton Declares Self President for Life** ) and accompanying photoshops. ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/44 "2003-02-02T07:40:37Z")
Possibly the best onion article ever: "[Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?"](http://www.theonion.com/onion3604/why_do_all_these.html) ---
**Author:** ![MemoryGongs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@MemoryGongs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MemoryGongs)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/45 "2003-02-02T13:03:50Z")
Considering the ads they have now it seems a small step away from the salon.com-style of slow painful decay. but nothing was funnier in its prime Mall Security Guard All Up In Girl’s Face there are too many to list, like naming your fave Simpsons episode Best News In Brief: Yak Chews Thoughtfully Best Infographic: The 20th Anniversary of E.T. re-release John Williams’ score now with 20% more swelling Plus: This week’s Leeza Gibbons vs. Gibbons reality show ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/46 "2003-02-02T15:42:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jk1245 \* > \*\*[GrumpyOldMan] > > Ahhh, the Onion jumped the shark when it went to color graphics in about '91 > > [/GrumpyOldMan] > \*\* Aw man, _I_ wanted to be the grumpy old codger to say that! But I don’t think they went color until several years later, in the mid-90s. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/47 "2003-02-02T16:26:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HowieReynolds \* > \*\*For me, “What Do You Think?” never gets old. The rest is getting somewhat played. \*\* Totally agree. “What Do You Think” virtually ALWAYS makes me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/48 "2003-02-02T19:15:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jk1245 \* > the whole “Election 2000” series ( **Clinton Declares Self President for Life** ) and accompanying photoshops. Do you realized you just used the word “photoshop” in the generic to refer to the types of works that can be produced with a specific brand name of software? :eek: I wonder how long it will be before Adobe Photoshop[TM] has to [give up the [TM]](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/meponym.html). ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/49 "2003-02-04T06:21:38Z")
from the link: “Coke has won lawsuits against restaurants who serve another brand of cola when their customers ask for a Coke” Is this why servers ask you the supposedly silly question of “Is Pepsi ok?” when you ask for a Coke at a Pepsi place? ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/50 "2003-02-04T07:35:09Z")
Point-Counterpoints r0x0r. Best one was probably “Go Bears! vs. Oh no! Bears!”. Too bad it isn’t archived any more. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/51 "2003-02-04T08:01:13Z")
SDMB brag: My brother’s housemates in college were the two guys who founded The Onion (no, neither was Herman T. Zweibel), at the time of its birth. I remember visiting and seeing an unused room filled entirely with bundles of back issues. Back then the satire targets were local to Madison and Wisconsin; e.g., “Governor Thompson Declares October Masturbation Month.” ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/52 "2003-02-04T08:41:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Daniel \* > \*\*But really that’s not my problem with it. I _hate_ the layout of their site. It’s horrible. You see a big ad, the top story, one or two teasers, and once you start scrolling you have to squint to tell what’s a story and what’s an advertisement. \*\* Oh, it’s awful. The “new” (6, 9 months ago?) layout really does suck, the old one was much better. I have found the Onion less funny the last year or so, but this week’s Willy Wonka issue was a bright spot. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/53 "2003-02-04T08:50:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Or somebody actually parodies it with _The Olive_ (“America’s other news source” or some such). > > Damned if I can find _The Olive_ on line anymore, though. It was only one issue, after all. \*\* [http://home.earthlink.net/~cjclark/theolive/index.html](http://home.earthlink.net/~cjclark/theolive/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/54 "2003-02-04T18:38:21Z")
I think that my favorite little bit of Onion was part of a “What Do You Think” blurb around the time of the Y2K thing. The question was something along the lines of “How has the Y2K crisis affected you?” The Indian guy stated, “My computer went haywire last week, but it might have been because I ejaculated all over the keyboard.” I’m laughing right now!! hrh ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/55 "2003-02-04T18:46:38Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by micilin \* \*\*Best short headline ever: “Hamburger Helped.” “Ringo Next,” the week after George Harrison died… “Sperm Unaware it’s Swimming Up Colon” hrh ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/56 "2003-02-04T19:08:09Z")
The week after Gene Siskel died: “Ebert Victorious” ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/57 "2003-02-04T19:16:22Z")
From some guide to raising smart kids thing: -Buy them toys from stores with names like “Wooden Toys Your Kids Will Hate” and “Professor Faggot Q. Boredom’s Lame-u-cational Cocksuckery” ---
**Author:** ![constantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@constantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/constantine)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/58 "2003-02-04T19:28:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Hah! Everyone know “Five Or Six Dudes Jump Out Of Nowhere And Just Start Whaling On This One Guy” was the best Onion story ever! . I have to agree with this. > [@](#): > > Though the identity of the whaled-upon dude remains unknown, numerous theories exist regarding who the fuck he was. Among the theories are that he was Some Poor Sap Who Never Knew What Hit Him, A Guy Who Just Happened To Be In The Wrong Place At The Way-Wrong Freaking Time, or Somebody Who Obviously Must Have Fucked With The Wrong People. Supporters of each theory, however, agree that, whoever the hell the guy was, he probably ain’t exactly having the best day right about now, wherever the hell he is. But I think a close second is one that was in the print edition, before they started their website: Headline: “Waitress has a hell of an ass on her, local man will tell you that right now.” I still think the Onion is pretty damn funny. I agree that what do you think? is the funniest feature. I guess it does bother me a little that they seem to be recycling stories. The Larry Groznic columns, (particularly “When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address”) are genious. Maybe they need to come up with some kind of new feature, or new columnist or something. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Svinlesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/22d042/32.png) [@Mr.Svinlesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Svinlesha)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/59 "2003-02-04T19:34:04Z")
”Supreme Court Rules it Rules.” After a spat with the House Majority Leader, the Supremes lock themselves up in the Courthouse, dancing around in their robes to ”We aren’t going to take it,” by Twisted Sister. I giggled uncontrollably for about 2 days… Heh, heh, heh… ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587/60 "2003-02-04T21:05:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MaxTheVool \* > \*\*From some guide to raising smart kids thing: > > -Buy them toys from stores with names like “Wooden Toys Your Kids Will Hate” and “Professor Faggot Q. Boredom’s Lame-u-cational Cocksuckery” \*\* That line was my .sig on a different forum for a few months! hrh [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/state-of-the-onion/151587.md?page=4)