# Statements of Logic. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 28, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386 "2002-12-28T18:30:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Another\_Primate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Another\_Primate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Another_Primate)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/21 "2003-01-03T09:07:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Another Primate \* > \*\*Won’t be rude enough to answer your last question. > But… > (X+Y)(X-Y)=(X-Y)Y > Divide both sides by (X-Y) > and you get > (X+Y)=Y > > The point of why this doesn’t work? I think it’s that you cannot divide by zero, and so if it is true that X=Y, dividing by (X-Y) produces crazy results. \*\* Oops… forgot to mention – I didn’t realize this until the Dopers answered my question. ---
**Author:** ![phyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@phyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phyre)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/22 "2003-01-03T12:02:37Z")
I am male. Bill Clinton is male. Therefore Monica lewinsky is under my table 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/23 "2003-01-03T15:23:35Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by phyre_ > **I am, I think? Therefore…, um, oh forget it.** I think you’re putting Descartes before the horse. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/24 "2003-01-03T21:47:56Z")
I’d rather be riding the Descartes with a horse and buggy than Waiting For The 9:07 Godot. ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/25 "2003-01-03T22:10:26Z")
All syllogisms have three parts. Therefore, this is not a syllogism. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/26 "2003-01-04T02:49:08Z")
It’s an enthymeme. ---
**Author:** ![jmizzou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@jmizzou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmizzou)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/27 "2003-01-04T03:10:57Z")
(An old one, I know, but it still cracks me up) I shave every morning. The sun rises every morning. Therefore, I must turn on my electric razor every morning, or the sun won’t rise. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/28 "2003-01-04T03:34:57Z")
I drank gin and tonic, and got a hangover. The next night, I drank vodka and tonic, and got a hangover. The next night, I drank whisky and tonic, and got a hangover. Inductive reasoning leads me to the conclusion that tonic causes hangovers. Tonight, it’s straight tequila, no chaser. ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/29 "2003-01-04T03:37:55Z")
Rats eat cheese The moon is made out of cheese Therefore, the craters on the moon are the results of rats chowing down on the moon. ---
**Author:** ![LtningBug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/73ab20/32.png) [@LtningBug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LtningBug)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/30 "2003-01-15T09:04:50Z")
All living things die eventually. My plant is a living thing. Therefore, it’s not my fault my plant is dying. Though the second premise is on shaky ground. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/31 "2003-01-15T09:18:14Z")
Not originally by me, but I like 'em: a. Napoleon was a great general Great generals are forewarned Forewarned is forearmed. Therefore, Napoleon had four arms b. Napoleon had four arms Four is an even number Four is an odd number of arms to have The only number that is both odd and even is infinity Therefore, Napoleon had an infinite number of arms ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/32 "2003-01-15T10:40:18Z")
All ducks weigh less than ten tons Therefore everything that weighs less than ten tons is a duck. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/33 "2003-01-15T13:49:25Z")
I always liked Dogbert’s theory on why reading is bad. Reading increases your knowledge and knowledge is power but power corrupts and corruption is a crime and crime doesn’t pay. ## Therefore if you read you’ll go broke. I’m tired and going to bed. But there’s no rest for the wicked. Therefore I’m good. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/34 "2003-01-15T15:40:39Z")
Hard work is good for you. Stealing refrigerators is hard work. Therefore, stealing refrigerators is good for you. ---
**Author:** ![yastobaal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/258eb7/32.png) [@yastobaal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yastobaal)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/35 "2003-01-15T16:48:33Z")
Can I be the first to say reading most of these my brain has gone Fssst _pop_ ---
**Author:** ![coosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/36 "2003-01-15T16:48:39Z")
Aaarrrgggghhhh! You _ **rats** _! I just changed my sig, and then I drop by this thread and _two_ people have posted different versions here! (The Ray Charles=God bit) _sigh_ Back to the quotes file for a new sig. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/37 "2003-01-15T17:49:32Z")
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Drink is the curse of the working class. So, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him curse the working class. No, really, it’s profound! ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/38 "2003-01-15T19:01:21Z")
Deep down, all women are evil: In order to “obtain” (used very loosely) a woman you need time and money. Woman=time \* money We also know that “Time is money” so Woman=money \* money or Woman = money^2 Money is the root of all evil so money = sqrt(all evil) or money^2 = sqrt(all evil)^2 or money^2 = evil Seeing as Woman = money^2 and evil = money^2 then woman=evil ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/39 "2003-01-16T01:27:48Z")
**Cartooniverse** , see, but Pittsburgh hasn’t made steel since the early 80s! So we don’t have it in our beer anymore! 😉 Money talks Talk is cheap Therefore, money is cheap Quitters never win Winners don’t use drugs Therefore, don’t quit using drugs. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386/40 "2003-01-16T03:15:00Z")
-grin- I knew it. That WAS you at Jerry’s Records in Squirrel Hill, back in the Jazz section with the triple dry decaf caramel latte’ in one hand and a mint pressing of ’ Round Midnight’ in the other !!! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-of-logic/145386.md?page=3)