# Statements that are always lies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 6, 2009, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033 "2009-01-06T03:38:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/41 "2009-01-06T16:23:34Z")
Hey, I don’t judge… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/42 "2009-01-06T17:05:39Z")
“E-Z Credit: No job, no problem!” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/43 "2009-01-06T17:06:57Z")
Statements that are always lies. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/44 "2009-01-06T17:11:38Z")
“I tried to resist.” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/45 "2009-01-06T17:23:11Z")
The funny thing is this. At one point or another I’ve said almost every statement on the OP’s list. And I meant them. And I honestly think they were way more towards the true end of the spectrum than the other end. Honest! Of course maybe I am some physcopath of some form or another… ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_Tightlips](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@Joey\_Tightlips](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_Tightlips)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/46 "2009-01-06T17:37:05Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > The funny thing is this. > > At one point or another I’ve said almost every statement on the OP’s list. And I meant them. And I honestly think they were way more towards the true end of the spectrum than the other end. > > Honest! > > Of course maybe I am some physcopath of some form or another… Funny, I was thinking pretty much the same thing. I do have one that is always a lie however… “\*One Hundred Percent \*not guilty” ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/47 "2009-01-06T17:40:02Z")
Pet peeve of mine: “You leave me no choice.” ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/48 "2009-01-06T17:42:44Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Actually they always are, since it isn’t worth the grief that having underage girls doing porn will bring. Yeah, like they’re checking super-closely that the yummy starlet with the massive hooters hasn’t submitted fake ID…:dubious: or are they? ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/49 "2009-01-06T17:45:25Z")
From glurge emails: “I checked it in Snopes, and it’s true!” No you didn’t. You forwarded it without doing a bit of research and checking Snopes reveals your glurge to be full of monkey muffins. “\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ said they didn’t want to offend anybody,…” No company has ever said that as a reason for not putting “under God” on a soft drink can or whatever. Often used in glurge emails whining about a company not being pious or patriotic enough. ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/50 "2009-01-06T17:59:06Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Yeah, like they’re checking super-closely that the yummy starlet with the massive hooters hasn’t submitted fake ID…:dubious: or are they? I’m no expert, but since Traci Lords, I’m guessing they do. That cost a lot of people in the industry a lot of money and grief. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/51 "2009-01-06T18:02:11Z")
You’re the best! ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/52 "2009-01-06T18:05:54Z")
“Even though we’re under new management, things will be the same as they always were.” Lived through it. A bigger pile of BS there never was. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/53 "2009-01-06T18:10:38Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > “Sorry, that’s the smallest bill I’ve got.” “Sorry, I don’t have any cash/change on me.” ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/54 "2009-01-06T18:12:45Z")
> [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](#): > > I’m no expert, but since Traci Lords, I’m guessing they do. That cost a lot of people in the industry a lot of money and grief. Porn producers are required to keep “2257 records”, i.e. those in compliance with [18 U.S.C. Section 2257](http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode18/usc_sec_18_00002257----000-.html) documenting D.O.B.s of any performers. Checking IDs for authenticity is in their best interests of course - does anyone underage ever pass off a fake ID? I’d say not that often, but it’s certainly possible and knowing people, it’s not hard to imagine that from time to time some people do. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/55 "2009-01-06T18:15:23Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > I have a policy: People who claim that they never lie cannot be trusted at any time. > > Why? Because everyone has things that they need to hide, or would just rather not tell people about. Big things, small things, doesn’t really matter. Most people, when questioned about many of these things, will lie. Then, if they are caught in the lie, they will eventually confess and acknowlege that they have Done Wrong. > > However, in my experience People Who Never Lie think that as long as they stretch the truth until it bends, or answer with a non-sequitur that _seems_ to answer the question, or gaslight the asker till they don’t know how they feel anymore, that they are still somehow In The Right, because At Least They Didn’t Lie About It. > > The fact that they deliberately responded in such a way as to cause the querent to believe something untrue is somehow irrelevant to them. They told the literal truth! It’s not _their_ fault that the other person misinterpreted them! THEY NEVER LIE, DAMMIT! THEY HATE LIARS!!! > > Etc. I’m with you on this one. There’s lying, and there’s lying by omission. When you deliberately say or do something to make someone have an altered perception then you’ve told a lie. ---
**Author:** ![mauxlicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc8723/32.png) [@mauxlicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mauxlicious)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/56 "2009-01-06T22:51:29Z")
“I’m not _that_ drunk.” ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/57 "2009-01-06T23:30:29Z")
It’s only a cold sore! ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/58 "2009-01-06T23:51:36Z")
That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen! ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/59 "2009-01-07T00:00:48Z")
“I only drank a beer” “I am not breaking up with you, I just need some time to think” ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/60 "2009-01-07T00:13:15Z")
In the spirit of **Mighty\_Girl** It’s not you, it’s me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033.md?page=4)