# Statements that are always lies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 6, 2009, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033 "2009-01-06T03:38:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/61 "2009-01-07T00:41:58Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > I’m with you on this one. There’s lying, and there’s lying by omission. When you deliberately say or do something to make someone have an altered perception then you’ve told a lie. I’ve always found that the best lie is just the truth told ‘unconvincingly’. I am myself indifferent honest. Satch ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/62 "2009-01-07T00:49:24Z")
“One careful owner” “your jobs are safe, we’re going to look after you” ---
**Author:** ![TheVioletCreep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eb8c5e/32.png) [@TheVioletCreep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheVioletCreep)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/63 "2009-01-07T01:11:20Z")
C’mon, it’ll be fun! ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/64 "2009-01-07T03:07:33Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Pet peeve of mine: “You leave me no choice.” Ah yes, that’s one of mine as well. “I didn’t/don’t have a choice” ? Fuck. you. And then there’s the oxymoron “In my humble opinion…” ---
**Author:** ![imfloating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bc79bd/32.png) [@imfloating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imfloating)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/65 "2009-01-07T03:20:53Z")
Free Downloads ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/66 "2009-01-07T03:27:53Z")
“You may already be a winner.” Just barely possibly true to some some far distant decimal point of chance, but pretty much a lie. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/67 "2009-01-07T04:05:42Z")
> [@imfloating](#): > > Free Downloads Free anything 😛 ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/68 "2009-01-07T17:27:01Z")
Though not an out-and-out lie, in my experience, “I think we should take a little time off” is an incomplete sentence. The rest of the sentence is **always** , “… like for the rest of eternity.” ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/69 "2009-01-07T17:39:56Z")
“Satisfaction guaranteed” ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/70 "2009-01-07T21:46:15Z")
“You’re the best in bed” is not always a lie, but it almost always is. ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/71 "2009-01-08T02:11:21Z")
Has this been said?: “I want to hear your honest opinion.” I said that to a _friend_ once, and boy, was I sorry. I didn’t want to hear it. Guess that makes me a liar, too. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/72 "2009-01-08T02:41:16Z")
> [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](#): > > Has this been said?: > > “I want to hear your honest opinion.” > > I said that to a _friend_ once, and boy, was I sorry. I didn’t want to hear it. > > Guess that makes me a liar, too. A corollary to that would be “To be totally honest…” ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/73 "2009-01-08T02:46:55Z")
“I’ll only put it in a little ways.” “I am not elsewhere.” “This is not the [name] I knew.” ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/74 "2009-01-08T05:31:13Z")
The number 1 lie: > [@Washoe](#): > > “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.” The number 2 lie: “And we’re glad you’re here.” (Works well substituting “(corporate) headquarters” for “the government.”) ---
**Author:** ![Across](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Across](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Across)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/75 "2009-01-08T07:00:05Z")
Pinching from Pratchett: “I’m telling you this as a friend.” No you aren’t. If you have to prefix/suffix your statement with this phrase, you aren’t really a friend. You aren’t even being convincingly friendly. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/76 "2009-01-08T07:06:01Z")
“We’ll keep your resume on file.” ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/77 "2009-01-08T15:41:33Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > “We’ll keep your resume on file.” Oh, good one. Have you ever tried telling an HR Department, “Well, when I last applied, you said you’d keep my resume on file, why don’t you just pull it?” Wait for the “bluh, bluh, bluhs”. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/78 "2009-01-08T16:06:37Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > “We’ll keep your resume on file.” Yeah, the _circular_ file… ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/79 "2009-01-08T16:09:05Z")
> [@Susie\_Derkins](#): > > That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen! It’s no big deal; it happens to all guys. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033/80 "2009-01-08T16:20:22Z")
“I’m walking out the door this very minute.” “You can’t miss it.” “Your doctor’s appointment is at 2 p.m.” (Then why do I always have to wait until 3:45 to see the man?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statements-that-are-always-lies/480033.md?page=5)