# Statistically, how many men can autofellate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 4, 2014, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426 "2014-09-04T00:19:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/1 "2014-09-04T00:19:12Z")
See query. Maybe there’s some biometric sweet spot that can be used for anthropological studies. Goniometry just sounds so right here. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/2 "2014-09-04T00:24:21Z")
[Obligatory](http://youtu.be/Vy6QSsLhajs) (_Clerks_ vid, 1:50 on.) I, for one, cannot. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/3 "2014-09-04T02:09:08Z")
At best, I can see how statistics might be gathered on the _claim_. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/4 "2014-09-04T02:11:16Z")
Wouldn’t evolution have selected against this long ago? Men who could autofellate would never find time to seek food, much less mates. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/5 "2014-09-04T02:14:27Z")
You’ll have to wait for an answer, we’re busy. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/6 "2014-09-04T03:00:24Z")
I cannot. As evidence is the fact that if I could, I would not be sitting here typing right now. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/7 "2014-09-04T04:13:52Z")
Start a poll. Moved to IMHO from General Questions. **Leo** , give it a rest. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/8 "2014-09-04T04:19:07Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I cannot. As evidence is the fact that if I could, I would not be sitting here typing right now. i’m typing with my keyboard on the floor right now. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/9 "2014-09-04T05:01:23Z")
I can’t. Though I remember once dreaming that I could and being very disappointed when I woke up. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/10 "2014-09-04T13:02:19Z")
I could when I was a teenager. It wasn’t that exciting, and kind of weird and gross. I am nowhere near that flexible any more. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/11 "2014-09-04T13:07:48Z")
I’m not tall enough to do it. If it could bend it might work. ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/12 "2014-09-04T18:49:46Z")
How do you define being able to autofellate? When I tried as a teen I could kiss the tip, but that doesn’t really make for a proper BJ. If we’re talking about being able to give oneself a proper BJ and being comfortable enough to enjoy it, I’m sure it must be in the tenths or hundredths of a percent. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/13 "2014-09-04T19:10:15Z")
From what I’ve seen, it’s a combo of being skinny, flexible and rather well hung (8ish" plus). Tall seems to help out too for getting the right leverage. That would likely be a good starting point of figuring out the possibilities. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/14 "2014-09-04T21:59:09Z")
I don’t think having an exceptionally long penis has much to do with it. I used to be able to go all the way down to the base. (I have to disagree with **Jman**. I found autofellatio was one of the few things that really lived up to its reputation). I have not been that flexible in years. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/15 "2014-09-05T01:43:58Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > From what I’ve seen, it’s a combo of being skinny, flexible and rather well hung (8ish" plus). Tall seems to help out too for getting the right leverage. That would likely be a good starting point of figuring out the possibilities. My partner can do it. He’s 6’10, skinny, very flexible and very well hung. Frankly, I don’t know what he needs me for. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/16 "2014-09-05T02:16:11Z")
To the guys who can (or could) blow themselves, did you cum in your own mouths as well? And did you spi…never mind, too stupid to write. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/17 "2014-09-05T02:43:34Z")
There is that famous haiku: \*There once was a man Nantucket was his hometown He was well endowed. \* ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/18 "2014-09-05T10:41:47Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > There is that famous haiku: Don’t go trying to class this thread up with a haiku! What we need is a nice raunchy limerick, a form practically invented for this type of thread. _There once was a man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said, with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a c_\*\* I’d fuck it."\* I have no idea where I first heard/read that. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/19 "2014-09-05T10:56:09Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > Don’t go trying to class this thread up with a haiku! What we need is a nice raunchy limerick, a form practically invented for this type of thread. > > _There once was a man from Nantucket > Whose cock was so long he could suck it. > He said, with a grin, > As he wiped off his chin, > "If my ear was a c_\*\* I’d fuck it."\* > > I have no idea where I first heard/read that. That’s a lovely limerick that I’m sure **Spiderman** never, ever heard before and a wonderful way to kill a joke. I’m glad you posted this. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426/20 "2014-09-05T11:21:50Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > That’s a lovely limerick that I’m sure **Spiderman** never, ever heard before and a wonderful way to kill a joke. I’m glad you posted this. Laughing my ass off. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/statistically-how-many-men-can-autofellate/697426.md?page=2)