# Stealing a man's nuts is just wrong. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 30, 2012, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357 "2012-10-30T20:24:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/1 "2012-10-30T20:24:18Z")
How the heck would anyone sell two 80,000 lb truck loads of nuts? It shouldn’t be hard to find a guy parked on the highway with a big sign. It would take a week out there working non-stop to sell one truck load. Walnuts 25 cents a pound. [http://www2.tbo.com/news/breaking-news/2012/oct/29/300000-truckload-of-walnuts-stolen-between-califor-ar-548353/](http://www2.tbo.com/news/breaking-news/2012/oct/29/300000-truckload-of-walnuts-stolen-between-califor-ar-548353/) > [@](#): > > Authorities are investigating the theft of more than 80,000 pounds of walnuts from Northern California valued at about $300,000. > > The Tehama County Sheriff’s Office received a call from a freight brokerage firm on Friday reporting that a truckload of walnuts never arrived in Miami as they were supposed to. > > Authorities believe the culprit is the same person who also picked up another load of walnuts days earlier from Los Molinos. Those walnuts were intended for Texas, but also disappeared. > > Deputies tell the Record Searchlight of Redding ([http://bit.ly/S8mOY9](http://bit.ly/S8mOY9)) the man who picked those walnuts up was not the person hired for the job. They have not identified the suspect although they do have a suspect description. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/2 "2012-10-30T20:27:04Z")
Blame the squirrels. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/3 "2012-10-30T20:27:05Z")
Someone’s planning on some major Christmas baking! StG ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/4 "2012-10-30T20:29:36Z")
Another man’s nuts stolen right off the stem err branch. 😉 [http://www.visaliatimesdelta.com/article/20121029/NEWS01/310290012/Walnuts-stolen-west-Porterville-then-recovered](http://www.visaliatimesdelta.com/article/20121029/NEWS01/310290012/Walnuts-stolen-west-Porterville-then-recovered) > [@](#): > > Eight people were caught in the act of trying to leave a person’s property with approximately 700 pounds of walnuts on Friday, law enforcement officials said. > \ > Deputies said they encountered eight people who were in the midst of taking 700 pounds of walnuts from an orchard. The walnuts were recovered at the scene and in three vehicles also at the scene. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/5 "2012-10-30T20:43:48Z")
Hey, man, I’ve got baking to do. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/6 "2012-10-30T20:47:29Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > How the heck would anyone sell two 80,000 lb truck loads of nuts? Psst! Hey buddy! Wanna buy some nuts? ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/7 "2012-10-30T21:12:12Z")
Imagine how many fruit cakes 80,000 lbs of nuts would make. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/8 "2012-10-30T21:14:04Z")
Don’t you mean ‘Stealing a man’s nuts is just nuts’? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/9 "2012-10-30T21:27:20Z")
As my grandpaw always used to say: “We are gonna need a bigger nutsack” ---
**Author:** ![Recusant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@Recusant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Recusant)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/10 "2012-10-30T22:04:55Z")
I think the bigger question is, how can you pack 80,000 lbs of walnuts into a truck and still have it be road-legal? Florida is not Michigan. Methinks there was a misunderstanding here somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/11 "2012-10-30T23:01:53Z")
I’m also thinking that 80,000 lbs of walnuts would take up a huge volume, especially if they were still in the shell (likely). Anyone have any walnuts nearby to weigh and figure out just how many walnuts 80,000 lbs would be, and then figure out the volume it would take to hold 80,000 lbs of walnuts? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/12 "2012-10-30T23:08:13Z")
I found a value of 4.41 lbs/gallon for the density of dry black walnuts. For 80,000 lbs of walnuts that comes out to nearly 70 cubic meters of nuts. That sounds large to me, but not impossible for a semi-truck full of nuts. I might be way off though. Source online said Semis have a volume of over 100 cubic meters so I think it checks out. Now whether it’s legal or not, I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/13 "2012-10-30T23:24:44Z")
I’d imagine the walnuts are in 50lb or 75lb bags. Takes a bit more space in the truck than just pouring the walnuts in. But, I’d expect 80,000 lbs would fit. Heck, I usually buy a couple pounds at kroger. Even if the criminals packaged them up in 10 lb bags that would be 8,000 sales transactions per truck. I can’t see anyone selling all of them before they went bad. ---
**Author:** ![Enkel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Enkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkel)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/14 "2012-10-31T08:15:29Z")
I sense a conspiracy here… > [@](#): > > Canadian police have reached a breakthrough in the great maple syrup heist of 2012. > > Canadian police seized more than 600 barrels of maple syrup allegedly stolen from a factory in Quebec, > **[Breakthrough In Canada's Great Maple Syrup Heist](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/maple-syrup-seized-canada-heist-600-barrels_n_1942575)** > > Breakthrough In Canada's Great Maple Syrup Heist Clearly, there must be a black market for bakery goods somewhere. Do we \*know \*that there was really a drought in the Midwest or has someone just made off with all the flour products? Oh, sure they _tell_ us that farmers have sold off their dairy cows… but maybe they’re diverting the outputs to this underground economy. OMG! Don’t tell anyone, but I have walnut maple logs in my kitchen! ---
**Author:** ![Enkel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Enkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkel)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/15 "2012-10-31T08:23:23Z")
Clearly, it is an international crime organization: A STOLEN tanker carrying 22,000 litres of milk has been intercepted following a 200km two-hour police pursuit this morning. (Aug 2012 - [http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/two-men-arrested-after-two-hour-pursuit/story-e6frf7kx-1226453069944](http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/two-men-arrested-after-two-hour-pursuit/story-e6frf7kx-1226453069944) ) ---
**Author:** ![Enkel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Enkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkel)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/16 "2012-10-31T08:26:22Z")
> [@Recusant](#): > > I think the bigger question is, how can you pack 80,000 lbs of walnuts into a truck and still have it be road-legal? Florida is not Michigan. > > Methinks there was a misunderstanding here somewhere. It looks like they’re counting 40,000 pounds per truckload (two loads have disappeared). ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/17 "2012-10-31T09:05:04Z")
How many nuts do a man need? ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/18 "2012-10-31T10:31:01Z")
I don’t see the mystery here. If there were trucks carrying that many walnuts then obviously there are buyers in this world for that quantity of walnuts, or enough purchasers for smaller quantities to enable them to be sold at one or a few destinations. The intended buyers were probably commercial bakeries or businesses that repackage them for retail sale. Unless we assume that the intended buyer or buyers were the only existing ones in the country then other such buyers can be found. If you fudge the paperwork and make the price low enough there are probably enough people who will look the other way that you can make a profit off of free walnuts. You don’t even have to sell every last pound to make a profit since you didn’t pay anything. It could even be that some commercial bakery teetering on bankruptcy had them stolen for direct use rather than resale. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stealing-a-mans-nuts-is-just-wrong/639357/19 "2012-10-31T13:21:24Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > If you fudge the paperwork I don’t like walnuts in my fudge.