# Step one of the guide to make sure you don't get hired for the job **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 13, 2002, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898 "2002-06-13T18:33:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/21 "2002-06-13T21:57:32Z")
My boss is a rather short man and so I jokingly say that the quickest way I could have been passed over would be if I had put my hands on my knees and bent them a little when I met him and said, “You certainly are cute! Yes, you are! Yes, you are! Ooooo, is this YOUR BIG office??” Tibs. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/22 "2002-06-13T23:24:50Z")
#14) When I walk into the interview room, be on our conference room phone and hold up a finger like I should wait for you to finish your call. Continue conversation, obviously of a personal nature. #15) College interview with no experience: offer up unsolicited opinions of what my company is doing wrong followed by suggestions of what it should start doing better. #16) When confirming that you have Mac experience, admit that you don’t known how to \ rebuild the desktop, \ zap the PRAM, \ Get a crash log out of MacsBug, followed by \ admitting that you only used the Mac to write papers in college…on \ a competing software product, that you \ go on to say is much, much better than ours. #17) Immediately answer “I don’t know” to every puzzle-solving question I ask. #18) Constantly bring up how much older you are than me, and answer every question with an irrelevant story about the good ol’ days at Big Blue. Back before I was born. #19) As I expand on the question you asked me about what it is like to work here, sneek peaks at the folded Sports page under your briefcase. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/23 "2002-06-14T00:08:34Z")
#20) During the interview for a job as a phone rep answering technical calls state that there is no way you could ever work at a desk job all day long and that you have to work outside. (Someone actually said this to me during an interview) #21) Answer the phone at your house with “Hey F\*\*K Head, wassup?” when the person who is going to interview you calls to make an appointment. Well, that doesn’t really count because I did that and actually got the job. (Long story short, I called a friend who was on another call and said he’d call back 5 minutes later. 5 minutes later the phone rang and I cussed at my future boss) Slee ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/24 "2002-06-14T03:21:38Z")
**#22) Swear loudly.** I tried this tactic. During an interview in May with a rather snooty law firm, I was given the grand tour of the offices. We caught the lift to next suite on the floor below (the stairs would have been faster, but how common!). As I exited the lift (elevator, whatever), I was listening intently to the spiel of the human resources manager with me. Unknowingly, I was holding my mobile phone inside my suit jacket pocket. As we stepped forward, my hand came out of my pocket and I accidentally _ **threw** _ my phone out of the elevator. It bounced once and then teetered right on that two inch gap between the floor and the elevator. I leapt forward and snatched it up before it could fall in the gap of doom and plummet 24 storeys to an unknown fate. A startled _ **"FUCK!"** _" escaped from my lips. (I _really_ like this phone). The HR drone may have been a little impressed that I managed to throw and catch my phone in the same action… but she was less impressed by my choice of expression. I didn’t get that job. :o ---
**Author:** ![Hemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Hemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hemlock)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/25 "2002-06-14T03:31:25Z")
**#23)** Forget the name of the company you’re applying to (ABC Inc), and refer to it as XYZ Co, where XYZ is in fact the name of ABC’s biggest rival and is particularly loathed by ABC’s boss because he thought the government had shown favoritism to it once. I did that. Didn’t get the job (but all those Chinese corporate names sounded the same to me in those days…) ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/26 "2002-06-14T04:23:57Z")
#24) Stand in the doorway to my store while I am talking with a customer and shout, very loudly, "'scuse me, are y’all hiring? “Scuse me! Are you hiring?”. I will race right over there with an application! You are SO what we are looking for! ---
**Author:** ![WortMeWorry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@WortMeWorry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WortMeWorry)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/27 "2002-06-14T04:44:56Z")
#25) Come in with a newly pierced tongue. Tell me you won’t be able to talk to customers for a couple of days. ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/28 "2002-06-14T06:03:46Z")
#26) Be rude, snotty and condescending to the receptionist/secretary. After all, the “little people” don’t really count, do they? (Oh, yes they do. \) ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/29 "2002-06-14T06:28:23Z")
#27. Pick up the phone and, without even talking, immediately hang up on the person who is calling you to come in for an orientation because the number shows up as an OUT OF AREA call on the caller ID and is therefore assumed to be a telemarketer and treated as such. I regretted doing this and having to explain it when they called the next evening. I decided to answer OUT OF AREA calls that evening, thinking it may be the company that was going to hire me. I didn’t get hired as it turned out. I’m not sure if this was a factor that was taken into consideration as it probably demonstated to them poor telephone manners, especially because the job was for a tech support agent. ---
**Author:** ![OrganicMatter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/898d66/32.png) [@OrganicMatter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrganicMatter)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/30 "2002-06-14T06:59:37Z")
#28. When asked a **simple** technical question aimed at testing your knowledge, respond by accusing the interviewer of bringing you in just to pick your brain. Quote your standard consulting rates for answering such questions. Refuse to answer unless paid (true story.) ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/31 "2002-06-14T12:52:23Z")
#29. Show up on Rollerblades. Granted, it was a landscaping company, so the interview took place outside, and the applicant may have had no other transpo…but for crimeny sake, bring shoes and change into them before you get to the site! From **Scarlett** ’s link: > [@](#): > > When asked about his hobbies, applicant stood up and started tap dancing around the interviewer’s office. Well…I might give that guy points for creativity and lack of self-consciousness. Unless he tap-danced really badly and knocked stuff over or scuffed the floor. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/32 "2002-06-14T14:54:19Z")
1. To make a lasting impression, ask the prospective employer for his last name as you get up to leave. [sub](oh well, he had his employee picked before the job was posted…)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/33 "2002-06-14T15:17:23Z")
#31. Wear an engagement ring. I don’t know why this is so bad, but it cost me a job once. I guess they assumed I would be leaving to get married soon so I wasn’t worth investing in. ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/34 "2002-06-14T15:21:43Z")
#31. Show up for a professional customer contact job wearing a very low cut black t-shirt that really highlights your amazingly ample bosom and the giant black spiderweb tattoo that covers it. When asked how to pronounce your unusual Hindi name, say, “Call me Yummy.” Really. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/35 "2002-06-14T16:12:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > \*\*#31. Wear an engagement ring. > > I don’t know why this is so bad, but it cost me a job once. I guess they assumed I would be leaving to get married soon so I wasn’t worth investing in. \*\* You’re kidding, right? How did you find out that this was what cost you the job (and how did they know it was an _engagement_ ring, specifically? I’d say you have grounds to kick their asses. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/36 "2002-06-14T16:22:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Morgainelf \* > #31. Show up for a _ **professional customer contact** _ job wearing a very low cut black t-shirt that really highlights your amazingly ample bosom and the giant black spiderweb tattoo that covers it. When asked how to pronounce your unusual Hindi name, say, “Call me Yummy.” > > Really. Maybe she misunderstood _that_ part of your add. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/37 "2002-06-14T17:10:48Z")
Did she happen to include a picture with the resume? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/38 "2002-06-14T17:38:41Z")
Burst into tears during the interview and wail how badly you need this job because your husband left you and the mortgage company is foreclosing on your house. (This happened to a sales manager looking for an account executive.) ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/39 "2002-06-14T18:05:32Z")
OK, I"ll admit I don’t know for sure that’s why I didn’t get the job. I was half-kidding, since it’s uncertain that that’s why, specifically. But it seemed a likely reason. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898/40 "2002-06-14T18:07:18Z")
When the prospective employer interviewing you asks you the same question three different times and continually calls you by the wrong name despite the fact that your application is sitting right there on the desk in front of him, tell him (1) you obviously are not receiving serious consideration for the job, (2) you resent the way he’s wasted your time, and (3) you want to withdraw your application. You’ll probably both be happier. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/step-one-of-the-guide-to-make-sure-you-dont-get-hired-for-the-job/113898.md?page=3)