# Stephen Colbert is testifying before Congress on Friday (9/24/10) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2010, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739 "2010-09-23T03:53:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/21 "2010-09-24T06:56:02Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > If Elmo is qualified to talk about music education, Colbert is qualified to talk about migrant labor. I hope you no question Elmo credentials! ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/22 "2010-09-24T08:14:03Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > What standing does the Congress have to make decisions based on anyone’s testimony? Democracy ain’t pretty. It’s what we have. Does it matter who testifies about N Korea to the guys who believe the earth is only 5000 years old? How the ones who believed in WMD, despite the total absence of credible evidence that they existed? Sorry, I think this discussion is questioning the qualifications of the wrong side of the interaction. Wouldn’t that be a reason _why_ we should care about the quality of information put before the Congress? I mean, okay, examples have been given–Congress has been a variety show for an audience of, sometimes, ignoramuses. Are we not a little embarrassed about it, though? ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/23 "2010-09-24T13:03:07Z")
> [@"spark240](#): > > I mean, okay, examples have been given–Congress has been a variety show for an audience of, sometimes, ignoramuses. Are we not a little embarrassed about it, though? If we use the standard that **dzero** seems to be advocating, then most members of Congress are unfit to appear at Congressional hearings. Is this something we should be embarrassed about? Hardly. In many countries it’s barely necessary for the members of the legislature to put on a show for their constituents because the system is set up to ensure that there’s no real competition in the elections. The legislators just sit around being corrupt and funneling money to their family and friends and never even bothering to pretend that it has something to do with good governance. In the United States, the system makes it necessary for the members of Congress to go in front of the cameras and insist that federal funding for bicycle trials is a good investment or that the military really needs whatever pork barrel project is being built in their home state. These things are utterly false, of course, but it’s better to have Congress saying utterly false things than to let them say nothing at all. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/24 "2010-09-24T15:08:38Z")
> [@spark240](#): > > Wouldn’t that be a reason _why_ we should care about the quality of information put before the Congress? > > I mean, okay, examples have been given–Congress has been a variety show for an audience of, sometimes, ignoramuses. Are we not a little embarrassed about it, though? Yes, it’s embarassing. Not the Stephen Colbert part though. ---
**Author:** ![gregorio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/fbc32d/32.png) [@gregorio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gregorio)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/25 "2010-09-24T15:20:43Z")
> [@ITR\_champion](#): > > In the United States, the system makes it necessary for the members of Congress to go in front of the cameras and insist that federal funding for bicycle trials is a good investment or that the military really needs whatever pork barrel project is being built in their home state. These things are utterly false, of course, but it’s better to have Congress saying utterly false things than to let them say nothing at all. Did you mean [bicycle trials](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY2n5jvakq4&feature=related) or [cycling infrastructure](http://www.bikeleague.org/resources/reports/report_economics.php)? Because one of those is good fun to watch and the other is a good investment. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/26 "2010-09-24T17:03:20Z")
And he’s done it. He did in fact stay in character. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/vwIL3Tr3N9Y/hqdefault.jpg "Colbert Testifies Before Congress 9-24-10") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwIL3Tr3N9Y) ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/27 "2010-09-24T17:13:41Z")
I only watched briefly. Congressman King was going on and on, and I was like “Is there a question somewhere in our future?”. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/28 "2010-09-24T17:18:51Z")
> [@gregorio](#): > > Did you mean [bicycle trials](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY2n5jvakq4&feature=related) or [cycling infrastructure](http://www.bikeleague.org/resources/reports/report_economics.php)? Because one of those is good fun to watch and the other is a good investment. I meant trails. I have nothing against governments building bike trails but the idea of having it decided and controlled from the federal government is absurd; it should be a local thing. The general point I was trying to make, though, is just that whenever our Congresscritters create a new project for the purpose of shuttling federal money to their home district, they release a study showing that it’s going to create this many jobs or bring in this much revenue, and those studies are invariably bilge. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/29 "2010-09-24T17:24:46Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > And he’s done it. He did in fact stay in character. > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwIL3Tr3N9Y](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwIL3Tr3N9Y) He stayed in character, but he did make a reasonable point there toward the end- one I think he truly does believe (out of character). What the hell was with that congresswoman TEXTING? Look, I get it, he’s a comedian speaking before Congress, but lady- _it’s your job to pay attention and get the fuck off your Blackberry_. If my high school debaters can stop texting for their debate rounds, you can, too! ---
**Author:** ![unwashed\_brain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a9adbd/32.png) [@unwashed\_brain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unwashed_brain)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/30 "2010-09-24T17:40:45Z")
That was great! This was almost as good as his speech to the White House press corps. ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/31 "2010-09-24T18:06:22Z")
As a Brit, I haven’t seen much C-SPAN before, but I watched about 40 minutes today. I understand that C-SPAN’s ratings are pretty low, which must be why they have apparently implemented a policy of wherever possible having an attractive young woman in the background when people are speaking. We need something like that on BBC Parliament. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/32 "2010-09-24T18:18:23Z")
I know Christie Brinkley and Elmo. I’m friends with Christie Brinkley and Elmo. And ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Colbert is no Christie Brinkley nor Elmo. By the way, how much of that sweet, sweet government-supplied water did he drink? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/33 "2010-09-24T18:27:33Z")
Here’s some of his testimony, from the [New York Times](http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/24/the-whole-truthiness-and-nothing-but/?hp): > [@](#): > > “I certainly hope that my star power can pump this hearing all the way up to C-Span 1,” Mr. Colbert said, before explaining that the “obvious answer is for all of us to stop eating fruits and vegetables — and if you look at the recent obesity statistics you’ll see that many Americans have already started.” > > But, he continued, his gastroenterologist had explained to him that fruits and vegetables are an important source of “roughage” and said that he “would like to submit a video of my colonoscopy into The Congressional Record.” > > “I don’t want a tomato picked by a Mexican — I want it picked by an American, then sliced by a Guatemalan, and served by a Venezuelan in a spa where a Chilean gives me a Brazilian,” Mr. Colbert said, before turning just perceptibly more serious and talking about how difficult work as a farm worker was. > > “After working with these men and women, picking beans, packing corn, for hours on end, side by side, in the unforgiving sun, I have to say and I do mean this sincerely: Please don’t make me do this again, it is really, really hard,” he said. > > “The point is, we have to do something because I am not going back out there. At this point, I break into a cold sweat at the sight of a salad bar,” he said. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/34 "2010-09-24T18:29:34Z")
> [@dzero](#): > > It’s like asking Paris Hilton what we should do about North Korea. It’s simply bizarre. Yeah, I know. It would be more apt to have her to speak on diplomatic relations with Japan. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/35 "2010-09-24T19:04:58Z")
I thought his testimony was hilarious, and pertinent. “I’m not a fan of the government doing anything. But I’ve got to ask, why isn’t the government doing anything?” “My great grandfather didn’t travel 4000 miles across the Atlantic ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants!” Most hilarious are the stiffs who don’t understand the purpose and value of satire. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/36 "2010-09-24T19:34:13Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > I thought his testimony was hilarious, and pertinent. > > “I’m not a fan of the government doing anything. But I’ve got to ask, why isn’t the government doing anything?” > > “My great grandfather didn’t travel 4000 miles across the Atlantic ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants!” > > Most hilarious are the stiffs who don’t understand the purpose and value of satire. On the contrary- he looked rather foolish, and he embarrassed the hell out of many DEMOCRATS on the panel. I’m more and more convinced that Steven cole-BURT is a genuine smug moron who thinks he’s just PLAYING a smug moron. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/37 "2010-09-24T19:40:50Z")
That’s the most fun I’ve had at any kind of US Congressional get-together since Frank Zappa died… ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/38 "2010-09-24T19:51:00Z")
“I found out (and I did not know this), that most soil is at ground level.” ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/39 "2010-09-24T19:56:17Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > > [@Knorf](#): > > > > I thought his testimony was hilarious, and pertinent. > > > > “I’m not a fan of the government doing anything. But I’ve got to ask, why isn’t the government doing anything?” > > > > “My great grandfather didn’t travel 4000 miles across the Atlantic ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants!” > > > > Most hilarious are the stiffs who don’t understand the purpose and value of satire. > > On the contrary- he looked rather foolish, and he embarrassed the hell out of many DEMOCRATS on the panel. > > I’m more and more convinced that Steven cole-BURT is a genuine smug moron who thinks he’s just PLAYING a smug moron. If it helps you sleep at night. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739/40 "2010-09-24T21:33:49Z")
“I would like to submit a video copy of my colonoscopy into the Congressional record.” Brilliant! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colbert-is-testifying-before-congress-on-friday-9-24-10/554739.md?page=3)