# Stephen Colbert's Tolkien Movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** middle-earth, movies\ **Created:** [March 25, 2026, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748 "2026-03-25T11:16:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2026, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/21 "2026-03-26T20:59:41Z")
Am I the only one who thinks that this announcement dropped a week early? ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2026, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/22 "2026-03-26T21:05:34Z")
but March 25 is Tolkien Reading Day whereas April first… oh I see. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2026, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/23 "2026-03-26T23:18:45Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > and make something from the Appendixes Like _[The War of the Rohirrim](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lord_of_the_Rings:_The_War_of_the_Rohirrim)_? ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/24 "2026-03-27T00:21:34Z")
Yep, though I haven’t seen it yet, it got mixed reviews IIRC ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/25 "2026-03-27T00:51:23Z")
I’m really anxious about Tom Bombadil. It’s hard to write a god who is also silly. But he’s both of those. And unknown. And unknowable. They could do so much worse than dwarf-tossing. ---
**Author:** ![Banksiaman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banksiaman/32/3334_2.png) [@Banksiaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banksiaman)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/26 "2026-03-27T02:03:56Z")
I think you all, Colbert and even Sir Peter Jackson are all missing the big opportunity. Bilbo skedaddled from the Shire not because of some Ring thing, but to be rid of his grasping relatives. A Succession / Dallas / Dynasty-style miniseries exploring the interconnections and bad blood between the hobbits of Bilbo’s generation, and their fast-living children (Merry, Pippin, Frodo and working class bit-of-rough badboy Samwise) would be prime-time TV gold. Its probably all there in the book if you just skip over the words that aren’t relevant. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/27 "2026-03-27T02:21:56Z")
I know (I hope) you are joking but 🤮 ---
**Author:** ![Banksiaman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banksiaman/32/3334_2.png) [@Banksiaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banksiaman)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/28 "2026-03-27T04:11:44Z")
Completely joking until someone runs with the idea and it looks like making money, at which point I will unleash lawyers who make the Nazgul look like hobbit children who’ve eaten too much cake. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/29 "2026-03-27T12:09:33Z")
I did like that Lobelia Sackville-Baggins was redeemed in the scouring of the shire. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/30 "2026-03-27T12:31:33Z")
So do they recast Frodo & company, or just de-age Elijah and the other actors? Or hell, just do the whole thing with AI? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/31 "2026-03-27T12:50:59Z")
My understanding is that it’s going to be a one-man show, with Stephen Colbert playing every character. Malkovich Malkovich. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/32 "2026-03-27T12:57:42Z")
That’ll work well for the scene where the hobbits are running naked in the grass after Tom rescues them from the Barrow-wight. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/33 "2026-03-27T13:14:08Z")
In this house, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins is a hero. End of story. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/34 "2026-03-27T13:15:06Z")
_breaks out the Emergency Brain Bleach™_ ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/35 "2026-03-27T13:28:04Z")
And don’t forget the bathhouse scene in ~~the Tenderloin~~ Crickhollow. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/36 "2026-03-27T13:49:05Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > My understanding is that it’s going to be a one-man show, with Stephen Colbert playing every character. Malkovich Malkovich. Finger puppets? ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/37 "2026-03-27T14:06:31Z")
They are trying to save on wages, so Colbert is also going to direct, write the script, operate the camera and work as extra and stunt-man. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/38 "2026-03-27T14:12:21Z")
**War of Rohirrim** was surprisingly good, especially compared the 2nd & 3rd Hobbit movies and Rings of Power. It was nothing compared to the first 3 live action movies though. ---
**Author:** ![We\_re\_wolves\_not\_werewolves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@We\_re\_wolves\_not\_werewolves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/We_re_wolves_not_werewolves)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/39 "2026-03-27T14:13:22Z")
Eh, I’m still waiting for Colbert’s promised _Chronicles of Amber_ TV series. Wake me up when _that_ happens ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2026, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748/40 "2026-03-27T14:14:01Z")
I’ll try to get it then, thanks! 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stephen-colberts-tolkien-movie/1028748.md?page=3)