# Stereotypically "girlie" interests: do you feel contempt for them, and if so, why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 28, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139 "2010-03-28T20:44:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/161 "2010-03-29T21:41:28Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Julia Serano goes on at length about this in her book _Whipping Girl_, basically saying that although most people would agree that women are men’s equals, few would agree that femininity is masculinity’s equal, and that this discrepancy is simply misogyny repackaged in a new and more acceptable format. Seems a bit of a tautology, actually, given that “masculinity” and “femininity” are traditional social constructs. It basically amounts to saying, in paraphrase, 'in our society, the traditional bundle of activities and stereotypes we traditionally label ‘feminine’ are not considered equal in status to the bundle of activities and stereotypes we traditionally label ‘masculine’ '. The solution, seems to me, is to avoid socially reenforcing the gendered nature of the activities at issue. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/162 "2010-03-29T21:44:03Z")
I figured out a while back that posters here are not the mainstream of the US. So extreme viewpoints I see here don’t surprise me. FYI I am not mainstream myself but many of the people here are even more outside the mainstream than I am. I can see not wanting to do things that are popular but some people get way too upset about popular stuff. ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/163 "2010-03-29T22:03:53Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > You’re seeing it that way because you choose to. > > My friends and I get together and go shopping. We have fun picking out things, trying them on, planning outfits, etc. We have fun, spend time together, and get to take home things that exist and we get to wear them again and again. Thank you for pointing this out. My mother and I have few things we both enjoy doing. We have different tastes in music, food, books, etc. But we nearly always have fun going shopping together. Even though we have very different tastes in clothes, we still have a good time helping the other find something that looks good on them. It’s not like we’re hitting the high end stores either. We have just as much fun rifling through the racks at TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Target, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/164 "2010-03-29T22:06:08Z")
> [@Lestrade](#): > > Oh, did you mean non-black people thinking “stupid n-word”? Yep, that would make you a racist asshole. As for black people thinking that, well, it would depend on the context. I can’t make a general statement. Well, I meant anyone thinking it. And I think that anyone who sees a gay man acting annoying and reacts differently than they would to any other person being annoying is equally bigoted. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/165 "2010-03-29T22:44:52Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Sigh, the hatred for “girlie” interests is evident often, but recently in the “Ladies, what’s your best beauty advice” thread [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12234572#post12234572). I never thought I’d hear an explanation for why unibrows are a-okay. > > Frankly, a lot of basic “good grooming” practices are looked down upon, when frankly, a 5 minute face of makeup and a basic manicure (your nails aren’t torn, chewed, or with hangnails) are the foundational elements of a professional get-up. I remember a thread from awhile ago - people dying their hair were called out, which is just > insane. Don’t wanna die your hair? Fine. But don’t get pissed when you’re mistaken for a grandmother when your oldest child is 12. It appears that this post runs the rest of the way up the gamut from “girlie shit is OK, damn it!” to “non-girlie shit is not OK,” which means – and I’m screwing my head up trying to work this out myself – that we’re all the way back at the starting point, where girlie stuff is almost _required_ of a girl, which mindset actually begat (ill choice of verb in this context, I guess) the contempt for the girlie stuff to begin with… And that’s where it gets confusing. You’re saying that it annoys you that girlie stuff is given short shrift, not because you think the ultimate in equality is that every woman does whatever-the-fuck, but because, you’re saying, the grooming/makeup routine that establishes your personal appearance is really important; _viz._ failure to remedy the unibrow is _actually not_ OK. Whereas the majority of the rest of the posters, I think (and I hope, but who cares what I hope) are coming from a perspective that says unibrow’s OK, grooming the unibrow’s OK, whatever you like. Suddenly your perspective looks like much less of a reclamation of the societal expectations of what is super-feminine, and much more like, well, being governed by them. That is a little bit worrisome, because it’s the opposite of what I thought we were going for here. I thought the idea was everybody just gets to pick. You’ve got me, male, walking down the street, and I’ve got some gray making its presence known around the ears, and I don’t even _know_ what the eyebrow situation is, and nobody’s ever given me any crap about it. It’s definitely not a foundational part of my professional appearance what my nails or skin or facial hair looks like (I do suspect that I’m kind of looked down upon for my beard sometimes but nobody’s yet oppressed me for it directly, as far as I can tell, and I’m probably misinterpreting their covetous gazes). I certainly can’t imagine a superior telling me, hey, man, I guess you didn’t realize it but this isn’t a license plate factory - you’ve definitely got to tweeze that motherfucker. Go hit a spa and come back tomorrow ready to dazzle, OK hon? And could that tie _be_ any fuglier?! So isn’t it better if with the non-dying, unibrow-rocking women we just assume that’s what they feel like doing with their bodies and be cool with it? And that way we can make the same assumption about the ones who are all glammed up; that they’re doing it because they like it? If the participants in the makeup thread are going to look down on the people who aren’t into the full treatment, and the ones who aren’t into the full treatment are going to look down on the participants in the makeup thread, what do you guys need us for? ---
**Author:** ![Pray\_for\_peace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pray\_for\_peace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pray_for_peace)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/166 "2010-03-29T22:47:22Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Indeed, from a male perspective the comment is often made that much of women’s fashion is _not_ designed to appeal to men. **Few men really notice the finer points of shoes and handbags, for example. In our culture, this appears to be a luxury that appeals to women mostly.** > > Not that this makes it any more or less shallow than any other sort of luxury … > [@Malthus](#): > > Seems a bit of a tautology, actually, given that “masculinity” and “femininity” are traditional social constructs. > > It basically amounts to saying, in paraphrase, 'in our society, the traditional bundle of activities and stereotypes we traditionally label ‘feminine’ are not considered equal in status to the bundle of activities and stereotypes we traditionally label ‘masculine’ '. > > **The solution, seems to me, is to avoid socially reenforcing the gendered nature of the activities at issue.** Bolding mine. I wonder how it would be possible to achieve the latter - avoid socially reenforcing the gendered nature of the activities - if certain girly activities or interests appeal more to females than males? FWIW, I’m not sure that I agree that “few” men appreciate the finer points of quality shoes or leather goods (purses - yeah, probably not so much.) As to other girly activities, I don’t know, I find it hard to imagine that it would be possible to avoid reinforcing the gendered nature of activities like enjoying manicures or romantic comedies, for example. Yes, there are men that like these things, but I would argue that they are still gendered activities. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/167 "2010-03-29T22:54:45Z")
Why’s a manicure (for instance) necessarily gendered? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/168 "2010-03-29T22:56:47Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Because they’re things you do. I get together with friends and play video games, or go to a concert, or watch a ball game, or go hiking together. Clothing and jewelry is just…stuff that exists. Again: my $20 pants from Sears do the exact same thing that your ultra-fancy designer pants. They’re clothing. It makes you not naked, that’s it. > > I didn’t mean to accuse anyone in this thread of saying that women necessarily prefer “girly” things and just say otherwise, but I have come across that attitude in real life and am probably a little over-sensitive to it. I think that while it may or may not be present here, there’s absolutely a societal assumption, held by both women and men, that women _may_ be interested in typically ‘masculine’ things, but they _are_ for sure interested in ‘feminine’ things. Someone way upthread mentioned going out with a group of women and discussing nothing but what celebrities are hot - ostensibly educated, cultured women, who buy into some groupthink mentality that since they’re wimminfolk, they’re supposed to gossip about how hot whatever person that they don’t even know is. To whoever posted that, it was fine, but I personally find it downright offensive. There’s a dozen meaningful topics you could talk about, but you’re going to blather on about the physical appearance of people you never met? Way to miss the point **ninja**. We had spent the whole semester talking about social welfare policy, class stratification, politics, U.S. history, institutional racism, economic inequality and every other heavy deep subject known to man. We didn’t talk about hot celebrities because we bought into a groupthink mentality about what women are supposed to talk about. We talked about hot celebrities because we were in the mood to talk about hot celebrities. That’s what we wanted to do. We didn’t WANT to talk about anything meaningful. And you seem to be unable to accept that it’s possible for a group of intelligent women to actively choose to engage in something completely girly and ‘‘frivolous’’ because they want to do it. I’m a gamer, and I’m the first to admit gaming is pretty useless. It’s pure entertainment. It’s not any more evolved than any other form of entertainment. Artwork ‘‘just sits there’’ but it has aesthetic value. Do you consider art worthless? How about music? What does music really do, anyway. You just sit there and listen to it. Worthless. If YOU have no sense of aesthetics for clothing or jewelry or the human body, fine, nobody’s forcing you to be interested in it. But there’s no reason for denigrating those who are. ---
**Author:** ![Lestrade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Lestrade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lestrade)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/169 "2010-03-29T22:57:32Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Exactly. **Lestrade** , you don’t seem to be engaging with the fact that the behaviour you describe is perceived as annoying **in that** it is feminine/gender-atypical-for-males, which is fucked up, especially in that the criticism is usually framed as a call for the “annoying” person to butch up/stop behaving so femininely. I’m not focusing on that aspect because I don’t think that gay men are experiencing a unique situation. If you belong to a group that is persecuted then you would not benefit from anyone exacerbating the situation. You might even be unhappy with people whose actions widen the gap between your group and people that dislike your group. I think politics is a perfect example of this; people that drive a wedge between Republicans and Democrats are poisoning the well for the rest of us (to mix metaphors inappropriately). > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well, I meant anyone thinking it. > > And I think that anyone who sees a gay man acting annoying and reacts differently than they would to any other person being annoying is equally bigoted. I think that that doesn’t necessarily apply to members of a persecuted group. There’s a gray area that I can’t clearly pin down. The effect is evident when you complain that your family is a bunch of idiots and that’s OK, but if someone else says it you would be insulted and defend them. Same words, but the context makes a world of difference. Something my Father used to say seems relevant, “If you want to become anti-semitic, move to Israel. All of the people that piss you off will be Jewish.” I’m not certain that this will make sense to you, but I think that there’s some truth to it. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/170 "2010-03-29T23:02:58Z")
> [@Lestrade](#): > > I’m not focusing on that aspect because I don’t think that gay men are experiencing a unique situation. If you belong to a group that is persecuted then you would not benefit from anyone exacerbating the situation. You might even be unhappy with people whose actions widen the gap between your group and people that dislike your group. I think politics is a perfect example of this; people that drive a wedge between Republicans and Democrats are poisoning the well for the rest of us (to mix metaphors inappropriately). I think by saying that gay men are exacerbating the problem you basically are victim blaming, though. > [@](#): > > I think that that doesn’t necessarily apply to members of a persecuted group. There’s a gray area that I can’t clearly pin down. The effect is evident when you complain that your family is a bunch of idiots and that’s OK, but if someone else says it you would be insulted and defend them. Same words, but the context makes a world of difference. > > Something my Father used to say seems relevant, “If you want to become anti-semitic, move to Israel. All of the people that piss you off will be Jewish.” I’m not certain that this will make sense to you, but I think that there’s some truth to it. No snark–I honestly don’t really see how this ties in to what I was saying at all. Are you saying that gay men are the only ones who can insult other gay men, or…what? ---
**Author:** ![Pray\_for\_peace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pray\_for\_peace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pray_for_peace)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/171 "2010-03-29T23:11:33Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > Why’s a manicure (for instance) necessarily gendered? It’s not, really. That comment was based only on my own experience getting professional manicures in two different big cities that have large populations of metrosexual and gay men. I’ve observed that in the spas and salons that I’ve visited, the clientele for professional manicures or pedicures was at least 90% female. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/172 "2010-03-29T23:49:37Z")
> [@Sidney Evgeni Jordan](#): > > FWIW, I’m not sure that I agree that “few” men appreciate the finer points of quality shoes or leather goods (purses - yeah, probably not so much.) I think the degree which is the case tracks with culture. Black men, in my experience, seem more attuned to clothes and shoes and are not afraid to say so. They are also more likely to partake in dancing and singing without feeling the need to relinquish their straight male card. ---
**Author:** ![Chickie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chickie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chickie)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/173 "2010-03-30T00:39:52Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I’m a gamer, and I’m the first to admit gaming is pretty useless. It’s pure entertainment. It’s not any more evolved than any other form of entertainment. > Artwork ‘‘just sits there’’ but it has aesthetic value. Do you consider art worthless? How about music? What does music really do, anyway. You just sit there and listen to it. Worthless. > > If YOU have no sense of aesthetics for clothing or jewelry or the human body, fine, nobody’s forcing you to be interested in it. But there’s no reason for denigrating those who are. There’s a difference between enjoying the process of personal aesthetic presentation and being “into fashion”. I love going to thrift stores with my friends, dressing up, creating outfits, etc. But none of us would say we’re “into fashion”. Fashion with a capital-F is like an in-club for people with lots of disposable income. $400 t-shirts and the like. New colors every season. Judgment if you’re not up on the latest. Forget it! Dress-up, wearing makeup, enjoying clothing and jewelry is wholly different from “Fashion”. That being said, a lot of “girly” interests can be boiled down to “vanity writ large”. Which I think is what makes them seem frivolous. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/174 "2010-03-30T00:42:25Z")
> [@Chickie](#): > > Fashion with a capital-F is like an in-club for people with lots of disposable income. $400 t-shirts and the like. New colors every season. Judgment if you’re not up on the latest. Forget it! Dress-up, wearing makeup, enjoying clothing and jewelry is wholly different from “Fashion” I’m actually not sure I’d agree with that, and I think that reason is why a lot of people think fashion is stupid or intimidating or just not something that applies to them. For me, fashion isn’t about super pricey things. It’s about seeing something I like and kind of putting together an outfit, making it my own. It could be about seeing a ten or fifteen dollar t-shirt that’s not necessarily in a high end store, and somehow “making it work” as Tim Gunn would put it. Or accessorizing and whatnot–most of the most awesome accessories I’ve gotten were from little street fair/market type places. ---
**Author:** ![Pray\_for\_peace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pray\_for\_peace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pray_for_peace)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/175 "2010-03-30T01:03:49Z")
> [@Chickie](#): > > There’s a difference between enjoying the process of personal aesthetic presentation and being “into fashion”. I love going to thrift stores with my friends, dressing up, creating outfits, etc. But none of us would say we’re “into fashion”. Fashion with a capital-F is like an in-club for people with lots of disposable income. $400 t-shirts and the like. New colors every season. Judgment if you’re not up on the latest. Forget it! Dress-up, wearing makeup, enjoying clothing and jewelry is wholly different from “Fashion”. This sounds like what you’re rejecting is haute couture, not fashion per se. If the term “fashion” offends you, OK, but I don’t see that term as implying high-end merchandise necessarily. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/176 "2010-03-30T01:12:58Z")
> [@Lestrade](#): > > I’m not focusing on that aspect because I don’t think that gay men are experiencing a unique situation. If you belong to a group that is persecuted then you would not benefit from anyone exacerbating the situation. But what we’re saying is that is not the fault of the annoying gay person (or annoying black person, whatever), but rather the fault of the bigots who can’t look past their own confirmation bias. So saying that it’s natural for someone to be mad at someone for contributing to negative stereotypes, while true in the “all human psychological responses are natural” sense, is just as relevant as saying it’s natural to use the behavior of a few to malign the rest. Even though this too is true, that doesn’t make it sensible and it shouldn’t be encouraged. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/177 "2010-03-30T02:03:43Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > Why’s a manicure (for instance) necessarily gendered? For what it’s worth, I’m going to get one the morning I get married, because everyone did it in PG Wodehouse stories and it seems like a sensible idea for an event like that. I wouldn’t do it on a regular basis, but probably only because it’s expensive (I imagine). I’m also getting an old-fashioned straight razor shave that day. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/178 "2010-03-30T02:05:43Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > And that’s where it gets confusing. You’re saying that it annoys you that girlie stuff is given short shrift, not because you think the ultimate in equality is that every woman does whatever-the-fuck, but because, you’re saying, the grooming/makeup routine that establishes your personal appearance is really important; _viz._ failure to remedy the unibrow is _actually not_ OK. Whereas the majority of the rest of the posters, I think (and I hope, but who cares what I hope) are coming from a perspective that says unibrow’s OK, grooming the unibrow’s OK, whatever you like. Suddenly your perspective looks like much less of a reclamation of the societal expectations of what is super-feminine, and much more like, well, being governed by them. > > That is a little bit worrisome, because it’s the opposite of what I thought we were going for here. > > I certainly can’t imagine a superior telling me, hey, man, I guess you didn’t realize it but this isn’t a license plate factory - you’ve definitely got to tweeze that motherfucker. Go hit a spa and come back tomorrow ready to dazzle, OK hon? And could that tie _be_ any fuglier?! > > So isn’t it better if with the non-dying, unibrow-rocking women we just assume that’s what they feel like doing with their bodies and be cool with it? First off, unibrows on _anyone_ are not okay. Man, woman, whatever. Seriously people, unless you’re self-employed or born independently wealthy, you gotta interview and impress people often to get a job, to get internships, to get into college. Appearance _matters_, and I hate the denial that it doesn’t. I don’t care if you shave 'em, wax 'em, or pluck 'em, but you’re doing yourself a disservice if your eyebrows are _an_ eyebrow and if nails aren’t decently taken care of (not even a manicure! Just trimmed filed and without hangnails or blood oozing from it!). Obviously this only applies to office type jobs, anything but manual labor. My future MIL was in a panel with her colleagues, interviewing candidates for a tenure-tracked associate professorship a little bit ago. Over dinner last night, she was telling us how one candidate had flaming pink hair, tattoos all over, piercings, etc and how it was _all_ anyone could talk about for ten minutes afterwards. It upset her because a) she specialized in an area they need and b) because it _shouldn’t_ matter but it _still did_. That shit doesn’t do you any good, people!. One of my former bosses is possibly the kindest and smartest boss I’ve ever had or even heard tell of, but it kills me that he’s never gonna get promoted because of his tattoos (all up and down his arms) earrings (all up and down his ears) and hair (to his mid-back). He could run the whole institution he’s so smart and incredible at satisfying disparate groups of people, but he’ll never get the chance. Bottom line is I genuinely don’t care what you do with your body, but you can’t expect people a) not to judge you and have it affect the way you’re treated b) to take you seriously. If you wanna rock out on the weekends with a drawn-on unibrow and chewed off nails, more power to ya. But the real world calls for a modicum of professionalism. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/179 "2010-03-30T02:19:39Z")
Or perhaps, **Ninja Chick** , some of us are pointing out that people have more diverse interests? That “girly” isn’t one size fits all? :rolleyes: I hate it when there are threads about “I don’t wear make-up or care about my hair” because there’s an under current of “I’m PROUD to feel this way – and you should be ashamed of if you DO care!” I like dressing up, I like picking out fancy clothes and trying them on and twirling around in front of the mirrors. (Well, sometimes it’s a pain getting dressed AND undressed again and again – and those dressing rooms can be damned small! – but I sure do love clothes. And I love vintage fashion – I always have.) Oh wait, but here, I’ll tell you I like history and _Star Wars_ so there, I can “justify” being girly, okay? :rolleyes: If you don’t like it, or think I’m shallow, go right ahead. Doesn’t the make-up brand have it all in caps – MAC? > [@Sidney Evgeni Jordan](#): > > It’s even worse for hockey because the sport isn’t as universally known by Americans, so I’ve met people who seem to be surprised that I understand icing and offsides. :rolleyes: Perhaps my name here is a bit misleading; I am far more interested in the Penguins having Signey, Evgeni and Jordan locked up in long term contracts as they come into their prime playing years. I’ve noticed that they’re hot, but that isn’t why I pay for the NHL center ice cable package. And I pretty much hate those pink versions of professional team jerseys, because I’m pretty sensitive about women fans not being stereotyped as groupies who are in love with the players but don’t care about what’s going on in the game. You should have heard me screaming last night!!! I was about ready to bite my fingers off. SOME sports terms I still don’t understand, and I’m never going to be an expert on statistics, but like I said, I like watching hockey and football just because it’s damned FUN to watch. I heard that Gonch might leave and I’m really upset about it. And the pink jerseys – those are ugly. (Mark Eaton’s little girl has one – but she’s only two.) ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139/180 "2010-03-30T02:21:14Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > First off, unibrows on _anyone_ are not okay. Man, woman, whatever. Seriously people, unless you’re self-employed or born independently wealthy, you gotta interview and impress people often to get a job, to get internships, to get into college. Appearance _matters_, and I hate the denial that it doesn’t. I don’t care if you shave 'em, wax 'em, or pluck 'em, but you’re doing yourself a disservice if your eyebrows are _an_ eyebrow and if nails aren’t decently taken care of (not even a manicure! Just trimmed filed and without hangnails or blood oozing from it!). Obviously this only applies to office type jobs, anything but manual labor. > > My future MIL was in a panel with her colleagues, interviewing candidates for a tenure-tracked associate professorship a little bit ago. Over dinner last night, she was telling us how one candidate had flaming pink hair, tattoos all over, piercings, etc and how it was _all_ anyone could talk about for ten minutes afterwards. It upset her because a) she specialized in an area they need and b) because it _shouldn’t_ matter but it _still did_. That shit doesn’t do you any good, people!. > > One of my former bosses is possibly the kindest and smartest boss I’ve ever had or even heard tell of, but it kills me that he’s never gonna get promoted because of his tattoos (all up and down his arms) earrings (all up and down his ears) and hair (to his mid-back). He could run the whole institution he’s so smart and incredible at satisfying disparate groups of people, but he’ll never get the chance. > > Bottom line is I genuinely don’t care what you do with your body, but you can’t expect people a) not to judge you and have it affect the way you’re treated b) to take you seriously. If you wanna rock out on the weekends with a drawn-on unibrow and chewed off nails, more power to ya. But the real world calls for a modicum of professionalism. Has it occurred to you that if enough people grow up and decide it truly doesn’t matter that maybe, eventually, it won’t? Saying people need to dress or groom a certain way because that’s just how it’s always been done is what doesn’t do anyone any good. Nothing ever changes if we insist on carrying on just because that’s how it’s always been done. I will admit that I’d prefer being around people that bathe and wear clean clothes, but that’s pretty much where it stops. Whether I’m hiring someone or just passing them on the street, a uni-brow, pink hair and tattoos really have no bearing on whether they can do a certain job or not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stereotypically-girlie-interests-do-you-feel-contempt-for-them-and-if-so-why/534139.md?page=10)