# Steve Martin's "Diva-Like" Tour Rider Revealed **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135 "2010-07-09T19:21:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/1 "2010-07-09T19:21:58Z")
We’ve all heard the horror stories of musical artists and their tour riders. The M&Ms with no brown ones, the liquor that must be provided, the towels must be a certain thickness, etc. [A breath of fresh air from Steve Martin, currently on tour with the Steep Canyon Rangers.](http://www.thisisbrandx.com/2010/06/well-excuuuuuuuse-me-steve-martins-divalike-tour-rider-revealed.html) Highlights: > [@](#): > > WARDROBE: Nothing constricting or scratchy, except for Steve’s thong. > > LIGHTS: One brand new Super Trouper spotlight for Steve, one broken Super Trouper spotlight for the Steep Canyon Rangers. > > SOUND CHECK: Instruments must be tuned by a wiry, sarcastic guy named Shorty, Lou, or Lightnin’. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy Steve Martin? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/2 "2010-07-09T19:46:36Z")
“gong and mallet for authentic Asian feel” Nice addition. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/3 "2010-07-09T20:05:12Z")
Hard to pick a favorite but I like the dining section. “One (1) Tricycle with tray table rigged to handlebars” If this music thing doesn’t work out, he might have a future in comedy.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/4 "2010-07-09T20:05:13Z")
I would laugh if he showed up for a gig and they had followed every requirement to the letter. ---
**Author:** ![Jayrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Jayrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayrot)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/5 "2010-07-09T20:26:48Z")
As for the brown M&Ms, have a look at this snopes writeup ([Did Van Halen's Concert Contract Require the Removal of Brown M&Ms? | Snopes.com](http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/vanhalen.asp)). Short version: the M&Ms are a test to see if the other (more important) technical aspects of of rider have been complied with. True or not, it’s an interesting concept. Reminds me of cartographers putting a couple small errors into their maps as a way of determining if the map has been plagiarized. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/6 "2010-07-09T20:35:39Z")
> [@Jayrot](#): > > As for the brown M&Ms, have a look at this snopes writeup ([Did Van Halen's Concert Contract Require the Removal of Brown M&Ms? | Snopes.com](http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/vanhalen.asp)). Short version: the M&Ms are a test to see if the other (more important) technical aspects of of rider have been complied with. > > True or not, it’s an interesting concept. Reminds me of cartographers putting a couple small errors into their maps as a way of determining if the map has been plagiarized. I wonder if that’s the reason for Reba McEntire’s [“Absolutely clear- must not be opaque!”](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/mcentire/mcentire1.html) rider about her plastic cups or if she’s really just that nutty. Either way, I’M REBA! Martin’s always liked making fun of the Hollywood diva mentality. In one of his books he mentions finding a pair of Donna Karan pants he likes but unfortunately they were on sale, so he called around til he found them full price. I also loved when, in the same book, he had an excerpt from Ashton and Demi’s article on- IIRC- timespace in the peer reviewed journal ACTOR/SCIENTIST. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/7 "2010-07-09T20:42:00Z")
Okay, you can’t talk about funny riders without mentioning [Iggy Pop’s](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1004061iggypop1.html). ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/8 "2010-07-09T20:47:47Z")
Very funny. [You can see the second page of the rider at his website,](http://www.stevemartin.com/) although the print is small. I think my favorite is the one about the guard who _must_ tell “repellently boring stories.” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/9 "2010-07-09T21:47:49Z")
The 45 single of KING TUT is the first song I ever recall buying with my own money. I remember it had a flipside of Steve playing banjo (Sally Goodin’s), but I never realized til now how much it needed banjos itself. ([Begins at 8:15 on this clip.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VkGWPlK_A8)) ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/10 "2010-07-09T22:15:50Z")
My favorit bit (bolding in original): > [@](#): > > No unpleasant toxic, industrial or chemical smells… **unless emanating from artists** ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/11 "2010-07-10T01:12:32Z")
> [@filling\_pages](#): > > Okay, you can’t talk about funny riders without mentioning [Iggy Pop’s](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1004061iggypop1.html). Warning, while I was reading that, all sorts of virus warnings started popping up on my computer. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-diva-like-tour-rider-revealed/546135/12 "2010-07-12T17:16:09Z")
Strange. I didn’t have any problems with it, so I apologize to anyone who did. It’s just the Smoking Gun website.