# Steve Martin's monologue **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 24, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816 "2003-03-24T17:28:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/21 "2003-03-24T20:55:03Z")
Lopez appeared at some gala a couple of years ago (possibly the Oscars; I don’t remember) in a very revealing dress. After the event, it became known (whether she admitted it or someone else let the cat out of the bag) that in order to keep her breasts from popping out of the dress, Lopez used double-stick tape to fasten the dress to her chest. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/22 "2003-03-24T20:55:03Z")
**Mahaloth** , it was a reference to an outfit she wore at a previous awards show, which was clearly held on with some type of adhesive. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/23 "2003-03-24T20:58:54Z")
[Here’s a pic](http://www.posternow.com/l/l2543.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/24 "2003-03-24T21:26:15Z")
And [here](http://www.hsx.com/o2k/photo_gallery/assets/o2k_d_lg005.jpg) is _South Park_’s Trey Parker wearing his own version at the Oscars in 2000. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/25 "2003-03-24T23:08:53Z")
I blame Canada for that one. ---
**Author:** ![Daoloth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/82dd89/32.png) [@Daoloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daoloth)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/26 "2003-03-24T23:39:43Z")
I have an intelligent friend who insisted that Roman Polanski was actually in attendance. He denied vehemently any notion that it was a joke of Martin’s, and that it actually had been an off the cuff remark regarding the director’s alleged presence. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/27 "2003-03-25T00:14:18Z")
Steve Martin was never a very good standup comedian. He was an actor **playing** a standup comedian. Most of his best-known routines weren’t all that funny – but he managed to create the image that anything he was going to say was going to be hilarious, and did it so well that a lot of people were suckered in. And, of course, he got a lot of laughs by merely repeating catchphrases. Excuuuse me, you wild and crazy guy (and his actining in the latter skit was inferior to Dan Ackroyd). Once he switched to acting, though, he really showed a fine talent. In any case, the Oscar opening monologue was by far the best Martin every did, and one of the funniest I’ve seen in years. ---
**Author:** ![plastic\_conspiracy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@plastic\_conspiracy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plastic_conspiracy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/28 "2003-03-25T01:57:07Z")
Oh, come now! There’s an incredible Martin stand-up routine available on on a video called, “Homage To Steve.” It is one of the funniest stand-up routine’s I’ve ever seen. Call me a sucker, if you must, but that’s where I stand. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/29 "2003-03-25T02:10:37Z")
Gosh, I thought it was hilarious two years ago, and I thought it was hilarious last night. Some favourites from 2001: “Tome and Rita” (gesturing towards Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson) “have been married for 13 years. It’s hard to make marriages work in Hollywood. That’s because we sleep with so many different people.” Before the Best Actor was to be introduced: “An alcoholic artist, a homosexual poet, a man who talks to volley balls, a sexual pervert, and a guy who likes to dress up as a gladiator. But, enough about me…” And of course: “I was going to wear MY swan, but I decided they’re so last year.” "So many critics are complaining these days that studios are giving away everything in the trailers. I’d have to agree. I saw the previews for Dude, Where’s My Car? and it ruined it for me. Now, maybe I’m not being fair. After all, I had read the book.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/30 "2003-03-25T04:22:02Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by RealityChuck_ > Steve Martin was never a very good standup comedian. He was an actor playing a standup comedian. Most of his best-known routines weren’t all that funny – but he managed to create the image that anything he was going to say was going to be hilarious, and did it so well that a lot of people were suckered in. And, of course, he got a lot of laughs by merely repeating catchphrases. Excuuuse me, you wild and crazy guy (and his actining in the latter skit was inferior to Dan Ackroyd). So, he’s not actually funny, he’s just… fooled everyone into laughing? He’s so good at pretending to be funny that most people can’t tell the difference? I raise my vitual eyebrow in disbelief: :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/31 "2003-03-25T12:33:40Z")
Actually, I’d have to agree with RealityChuck about Steve being an actor playing a standup comedian. That was about half his act, shredding the old borscht belt comedians with their own work, like Andy Kaufman, only funny. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/32 "2003-03-25T12:46:01Z")
“The funny thing about Mickey Rooney is, he’s the same age as the Earth.” ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/33 "2003-03-25T14:29:04Z")
He’s so dry. I love Steve Martin’s humor and writing. His movies of late tend to be crap, but I like everything else he does. He’sso smug. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816/34 "2003-03-25T17:21:57Z")
Steve was unquestionably the funniest presenter I remember, from the March 1995 ceremonies (hosted by the disastrous David Letterman). Paraphrasing: “You know, I’m often asked: What is Film Editing? And my answer’s always: What are you asking me for? _You’re_ the director!” “Many of us look back at our cherished memories at the movies. I remember sitting in the back row, trying to get to first base with Mary Jane Horton. I even remember the movie: _The Lion King_” More laughs than Dave (“Uma/Oprah”) got the whole night. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/steve-martins-monologue/163816.md?page=1)