# Stomp North Korea on black friday. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 25, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856 "2010-11-25T06:31:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/1 "2010-11-25T06:31:15Z")
Really. You think China would really do anything on one of the biggest days of their import sales to freakin’ North America? Hit 'em with everything, open the borders, and a week later the war would finally be over. And now, I’m gonna kick your ass at Nine-Ball. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/2 "2010-11-25T10:17:58Z")
Here’s the ultimate problem with going to war with North Korea: Whoever wins, gets stuck with North Korea. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/3 "2010-11-25T13:46:10Z")
All the crap being bought on Friday was sold by the Chinese months ago. Fuxx0ring a retail day that isn’t nearly as large as the hype makes it out to be is about #300 on the Chinese government’s list of considerations re NK’s latest shenanigans. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/4 "2010-11-25T14:11:58Z")
> [@Darth\_Nader](#): > > Really. You think China would really do anything on one of the biggest days of their import sales to freakin’ North America? You know, I used to thing the Goat Cannon thread was the silliest thing I’d ever read on these boards, but that era is clearly over. > [@](#): > > Hit 'em with everything, open the borders, and a week later the war would finally be over. If by ‘everything’, you mean a goat barrage, I’m down with that. But seriously, which specific US interests were attacked by North Korea the other day? For some reason the Pinko Liberal press ‘neglected’ to mention anything about that. > [@](#): > > And now, I’m gonna kick your ass at Nine-Ball. Well, you talk the talk, but do you walk the walk? Bring it on, Internet Tough Guy. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/5 "2010-11-25T14:38:50Z")
> [@Darth\_Nader](#): > > Hit 'em with everything, open the borders, and a week later the war would finally be over. Popular wisdom indicates that they’d probably wipe out Seoul with a missile barrage in the first day. If you’re gonna do anything, I’d say take out the [nuke labs](http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/nov/24/inside-the-ring-410086955/). But even that risks having Seoul wiped out. I can’t see how that eventuality can be mitigated. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/6 "2010-11-25T14:51:21Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > [nuke labs](http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/nov/24/inside-the-ring-410086955/) John fucking Bolton? I didn’t mean to link to that assclown. Fucking Google News. You know what I mean anyway. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/7 "2010-11-25T16:44:25Z")
Other than being their only significant trading partner, how does China benefit from being the only country to support North Korea? Does China think that NK will one day wake up and join the rest of the world? If China wasn’t there I don’t think NK could survive, so we need to get into the Chinese leader’s heads and understand what they see there… ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/8 "2010-11-25T17:00:09Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > But seriously, which specific US interests were attacked by North Korea the other day? For some reason the Pinko Liberal press ‘neglected’ to mention anything about that. South Korea is one of our allies, and we have signed a defense treaty with them. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/9 "2010-11-25T17:25:43Z")
Did I forget to say “Yee-Haw!”? C’mon! Elbows on the table! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Booker\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/71c47a/32.png) [@Happy\_Booker\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Booker_1)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/10 "2010-11-25T17:37:38Z")
> [@dolphinboy](#): > > Other than being their only significant trading partner, how does China benefit from being the only country to support North Korea? > > Does China think that NK will one day wake up and join the rest of the world? > > If China wasn’t there I don’t think NK could survive, so we need to get into the Chinese leader’s heads and understand what they see there… If the NK government does not survive, China will get a load of NK immigrants. They don’t want that, so they’re invested in the regime. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/11 "2010-11-25T17:46:26Z")
I think they’d be more likely to invite Chairman Kim & General Kim to an “emergency conference” in Beijing. On the way to or back they’re be a tragic train accident. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/12 "2010-11-26T00:13:04Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > South Korea is one of our allies, and we have signed a defense treaty with them. Not having read said treaty, doesn’t SK at least have to formally ask for ‘help’ from the US? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/13 "2010-11-26T00:23:02Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > I think they’d be more likely to invite Chairman Kim & General Kim to an “emergency conference” in Beijing. On the way to or back they’re be a tragic train accident. And how would improve the prospect of 20 million starving North Koreans flooding across the border into China? ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/14 "2010-11-26T02:06:11Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > And how would improve the prospect of 20 million starving North Koreans flooding across the border into China? Maybe if one of the Chinese generals also happens to be a Bond Villain, he could use an Earthquake Generator™ to separate the Korean Peninsula from the Asian mainland? Of course, James Bond, Felix Leiter, and a sexy Korean secret agent lady would have to team up to put a stop to it, as earthquakes severe enough to sever an entire land mass are hardly precision weapons. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/15 "2010-11-26T02:37:12Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Maybe if one of the Chinese generals also happens to be a Bond Villain, he could use an Earthquake Generator™ to separate the Korean Peninsula from the Asian mainland? > > Of course, James Bond, Felix Leiter, and a sexy Korean secret agent lady would have to team up to put a stop to it, as earthquakes severe enough to sever an entire land mass are hardly precision weapons. Well, duh. That’s why you use an orbital laser cannon instead! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/16 "2010-11-26T03:23:55Z")
A land war in Asia - what could go wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/17 "2010-11-26T03:25:58Z")
> [@Darth\_Nader](#): > > Really. You think China would really do anything on one of the biggest days of their import sales to freakin’ North America? Hit the sherry a little early, I see. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/18 "2010-11-26T03:58:28Z")
What was your first clue? I love you, man. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/19 "2010-11-26T05:54:13Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > A land war in Asia - what could go wrong? Well, it seems to work out for about 50% of the Asian countries that ever try it! Of course, then you get the weird one-sided wars like the Peoples’ Republic of China vs. the Socialist Republic of Vietnam in the 70’s (Vietnam won. Or rather, China invaded, got their butts kicked, declared victory, and went home.) So even the country controlling the largest share of the land in Asia has problems with land wars in Asia. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2010, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856/20 "2010-11-26T15:08:25Z")
Russia controls the largest share of the land in Asia. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stomp-north-korea-on-black-friday/561856.md?page=2)