# Stoned Owl found in Christmas Tree
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 16, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902 "2005-12-16T13:34:01Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/1 "2005-12-16T13:34:01Z")
This might be a hack, but it would be so wonderful if completely true:
[http://www.nbc30.com/nbc30/5542246/detail.html](http://www.nbc30.com/nbc30/5542246/detail.html)
---
### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2005, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/2 "2005-12-16T14:01:21Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Sanctuary staff checked the bird out, fed him and named him “Cheech.”
Well, that made _my_ morning. Of course, that probably should have read:
> [@](#):
>
> Sanctuary staff checked the bird out, fed him, fed him, fed him, fed him, fed him, fed him and named him “Cheech.”
---
### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2005, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/3 "2005-12-16T14:19:16Z")
“Hey, man, do we have any more of those mice?”
---
### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/4 "2005-12-16T16:24:24Z")
“Woody’s not here, man…”
---
### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/5 "2005-12-16T16:50:19Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#):
>
> “Woody’s not here, man…”
“No, you birdbrain! _I’m_ Woody!”
---
### Author:  [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/6 "2005-12-16T17:53:28Z")
How the hell can you get an owl to hang on to the bong with just those wings?
---
### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/7 "2005-12-16T18:24:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> The buzzing bird also brought an early holiday gift to the sanctuary, which was in need of more than $250,000. The attention the bird has brought has helped ensure the sanctuary’s survival.
That’ll buy alot of dime bags, man.
---
### Author:  [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/8 "2005-12-16T19:09:58Z")
“It’s like, you know, you’re flying through the woods and you see, like, a mouse or a rat or a chipmunk, or, like, not a chipmunk, 'cause they don’t come out at night, okay, but like you see a mouse or a rat, and you swoop down and it’s all like, squeak squeak, and you grab it and it’s like squeak, _crunch_ and sometimes you can see, like, its spirit or whatever like, floating out of your beak…dude, are we out of Fritos?”
Seriously, though, how does an owl get stoned? Don’t you need opposable thumbs to roll a fattie?
---
### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/9 "2005-12-16T19:31:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> The little screech owl was found in the tree, which the family had kept for five days before deciding to decorate it.
Gee, I wonder how the owl got stoned?
Hey, maybe we should decorate the tree.
Sure, just one more bong hit.
---
### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2005, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/10 "2005-12-16T22:46:42Z")
Dude, my claws are _huge_! They can touch everything but themselves. Wait a minute. . .
---
### Author:  [@Kiminy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiminy)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2005, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/11 "2005-12-17T04:10:33Z")
> [@Zebra](#):
>
> Gee, I wonder how the owl got stoned?
> Hey, maybe we should decorate the tree.
> Sure, just one more bong hit.
This was my guess. If the owl had been exposed to marijuana before the family bought the tree, it _surely_ would have worn off by five days later, when they decided to decorate it…
---
### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/12 "2005-12-17T04:15:08Z")
I tawt I taw a dime bag! I did! I did! I did tee a dime bag!
---
### Author:  [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2005, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/13 "2005-12-17T05:14:22Z")
Did you ever notice how your beak just sort of sits there in front of your face? Like, do you think it knows there’s a face behind it? Or is it just going, “Hey man, I’m the world’s only flying beak!”
---
### Author:  [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2005, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/14 "2005-12-17T05:34:17Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#):
>
> How the hell can you get an owl to hang on to the bong with just those wings?
That’s not the half of it. Getting a good seal on the mouthpiece is damned near impossible. And let’s not even TALK about trying to cover the carburator with your claw.
---
### Author:  [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2005, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/15 "2005-12-17T06:19:54Z")
Heh, now it’s a Cheech Owl screech owl. Wonderful. When I was a kid, there were little chocolate mice - those ought to be perfect for its mousie-munches.
If it got to have a taste for illegal amusements, it could be an Owlsley. (Yes, all right, but nobody said that owls were world spelling champions.)
Just thought, I wonder how the people felt, after five days of dope, when they found a live owl in their slightly-forgotten tree.
" There’s an owl! I saw an owl! YES I did! Ther is an owl, honest …" and so on.
---
### Author:  [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2005, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/16 "2005-12-17T09:38:13Z")
Ahem, enlarge the photo and look at its “wings”.
This is a stuffed toy, people. Someone is just making your Christmas merrier.
---
### Author:  [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2005, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/17 "2005-12-17T09:40:12Z")
On second thoughts, it could be the glove of the person holding it. Any more clues as to the veracity of this story? I’d love it to be true.
---
### Author:  [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/18 "2005-12-17T14:56:14Z")
> [@SentientMeat](#):
>
> On second thoughts, it could be the glove of the person holding it. Any more clues as to the veracity of this story? I’d love it to be true.
I prefer your “glove” theory, myself. After all, wearing a glove to hold it, with its wings all folded up (or whatever the term is for birds putting their wings away tidily 🙂 ) makes perfect sense. After all, the rescue person doesn’t want to get scratched by a bird that’s a wee bit confused at being completely out of its tree.
OK, I do _want_ it to be true, dammit. As long as no owls were harmed in the making of this … etc.
Why “Cheech”, I now wonder? Owls being nocturnal, the folk who named it missed the chance to have “just a Chong at twilight”.
---
### Author:  [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/19 "2005-12-17T17:43:04Z")
> [@SentientMeat](#):
>
> Ahem, enlarge the photo and look at its “wings”.
>
> This is a stuffed toy, people. Someone is just making your Christmas merrier.
Go to the video in the link in the OP. It’s a real live one. And, not that I’d know about such things but yeah, it looks stoned to me.
---
### Author:  [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stoned-owl-found-in-christmas-tree/335902/20 "2005-12-17T19:10:41Z")
They had quite a bit of footage of it last night on ‘The Situation with Tucker Carlson’. That bird is high.