# Stop flirting **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 9, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669 "2010-08-09T03:02:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/41 "2010-08-09T16:30:09Z")
I get asked out by my male clients with a decent frequency and they always insist I was flirting with them. No, I was being nice and friendly- that’s what sales type folks do, homie. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/42 "2010-08-09T16:32:53Z")
One person’s flirting is another person’s nice and friendly. Like **Diosa** , I try to be nice and friendly with people at work (or standing in line somewhere, or whatever). Some people will assume I’m flirting. Then if I stop acting friendly, people will think I’m a stuck up bitch. :rolleyes:. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/43 "2010-08-09T16:34:58Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > One person’s flirting is another person’s nice and friendly. Like **Diosa** , I try to be nice and friendly with people at work (or standing in line somewhere, or whatever). Some people will assume I’m flirting. Then if I stop acting friendly, people will think I’m a stuck up bitch. :rolleyes:. You can’t win. Well, I take that back- yes, I can. By being nice and friendly, I make more money. So, you can keep thinking I want to ride your cock, old man- I need to pay my bills. (Wow, I sound like a stripper. I assure everyone here: I’m not nearly pretty enough to be a stripper.) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/44 "2010-08-09T16:35:26Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I get asked out by my male clients with a decent frequency and they always insist I was flirting with them. No, I was being nice and friendly- that’s what sales type folks do, homie. Yeah, yeah, but really, I was going to buy that widget even _before_ you took your pants off. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/45 "2010-08-09T16:36:23Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I’m thinking there is a tip jar involved somewhere, and **Todderbob** isn’t coming across. Or he is, and she wants to keep it flowing. Nope, no tip jar. At least not one Ive ever been made aware of. > [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > [@Todderbob](#): > > > > Before someone says “avoid the shop,” I can’t. I need to go there, specifically, no where else has what I need, and what I need isn’t being flirted with by a creepy, too happy teenage girl without common sense. > > Since you are a self-described misanthrope and acerbic jackass, why not just tell her straight what you told us? You don’t care about her feelings, right? I guarantee the flirting would stop. Because she provides good service, other than being slow, and because she appears to be pretty popular at the store. If I offend her, I risk upsetting the rest of the people at the shop (most of who aren’t terrible, and most like me) who currently give me awesome service. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/46 "2010-08-09T16:37:17Z")
> **[Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)** > > Look, I’m not a hateful person or anything–I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I’ve been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my... ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/47 "2010-08-09T16:44:06Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > > I get asked out by my male clients with a decent frequency and they always insist I was flirting with them. No, I was being nice and friendly- that’s what sales type folks do, homie. > > Yeah, yeah, but really, I was going to buy that widget even _before_ you took your pants off. Yeah, but I feel like the lapdance is what made you buy _two_ widgets, my friend! (No, but really: I’m not a stripper). ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/48 "2010-08-09T16:45:37Z")
I bet you’re not really in med school either. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/49 "2010-08-09T16:46:06Z")
I’m working my way through law school, actually. _shimmy_ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/50 "2010-08-09T16:57:00Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > Because she provides good service, other than being slow, and because she appears to be pretty popular at the store. If I offend her, I risk upsetting the rest of the people at the shop (most of who aren’t terrible, and most like me) who currently give me awesome service. Next time she comes on to you, just say; “I want you to service me like like all the other clerks do!” That’ll get results. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/51 "2010-08-09T17:05:36Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > The dude doesn’t want to get flirted with while he tries to do his business at this shop - I can get behind this rant. I don’t get flirted with much (and if I do, I’m not aware of it), but if someone I wasn’t interested in kept flirting with me and wasting my time, I wouldn’t like it, either. > > How many of you would be thinking it was creepy if the genders were changed? I’d pay extra. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/52 "2010-08-09T17:17:06Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > The dude doesn’t want to get flirted with while he tries to do his business at this shop - I can get behind this rant. I don’t get flirted with much (and if I do, I’m not aware of it), but if someone I wasn’t interested in kept flirting with me and wasting my time, I wouldn’t like it, either. > > How many of you would be thinking it was creepy if the genders were changed? Given that the OP is a self-described misanthrope, I’m highly dubious of his ability to distinguish actual flirting from simple friendliness. Even supposing she is flirting, though, as long as she (or he, if we reverse the genders) is not being crude or inappropriate, where is the harm? Do we really need to be even more prickly and hypersensitive as a society than we already are? Fuck that. ---
**Author:** ![DragonAsh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DragonAsh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DragonAsh)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/53 "2010-08-09T17:19:34Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > (Wow, I sound like a stripper. I assure everyone here: I’m not nearly pretty enough to be a stripper.) Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/54 "2010-08-09T17:30:09Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > > > The dude doesn’t want to get flirted with while he tries to do his business at this shop - I can get behind this rant. I don’t get flirted with much (and if I do, I’m not aware of it), but if someone I wasn’t interested in kept flirting with me and wasting my time, I wouldn’t like it, either. > > > > How many of you would be thinking it was creepy if the genders were changed? > > Given that the OP is a self-described misanthrope, I’m highly dubious of his ability to distinguish actual flirting from simple friendliness. Even supposing she is flirting, though, as long as she (or he, if we reverse the genders) is not being crude or inappropriate, where is the harm? Do we really need to be even more prickly and hypersensitive as a society than we already are? Fuck that. I’m don’t think I’m a misanthrope, or at least I don’t feel like one. I discussed this in the other thread. I don’t start out disliking people, it just ends up that way – IMO a misanthrope starts out disliking people, and makes them work to overcome that. Even if I am a misanthrope, and I suppose I may be, I would be able to tell this is flirting. In the same way a colorblind man can tell when the light is green, as long as he knows green is on bottom. Except, you know, I’m decent at social interactions – I just don’t like them. I can tell when/if people are flirting with me, or when they’re being nice for their job. There is a noticeable difference, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/55 "2010-08-09T17:33:19Z")
> [@DragonAsh](#): > > > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > > (Wow, I sound like a stripper. I assure everyone here: I’m not nearly pretty enough to be a stripper.) > > Cite? My post is my cite. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/56 "2010-08-09T17:35:19Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > Even if I am a misanthrope, and I suppose I may be, I would be able to tell this is flirting. In the same way a colorblind man can tell when the light is green, as long as he knows green is on bottom. A misanthrope knows he has a green light when a girl shows him _her_ bottom, as it were. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/57 "2010-08-09T17:55:03Z")
Kroger (grocery store) just hired a teenager who creeps me out. He’s good looking enough to make life easy on him, I suppose, but he’s dumb and lazy and thinks that flirting is going to make up for the fact that he sucks at his job. Last time I went through his line, he gave me two free items: Teen: (Holding up an item): What’s this? Me: That would be a jalapeno. Teen: (Paging through the produce codes) Nope, not there. (Throws it onto the conveyor while shooting me his best Tom Cruise grin.) I guess it’s free then! Me: FYI, it starts with a “J” not an “H.” He just keeps smiling because he has no idea what I mean. A few more items go by: Teen: How many ears of corn do you have here? (He punches a number in) Me: 6 Teen: Oops, I guessed 5! I guess you get one free then! Man, it’s your lucky day! Then as he handed me my receipt, he WINKED at me like we shared some inside secret. :rolleyes: Brrr! On Sunday morning I went in and he was the only cashier working the regular lanes. I had about 20 items but chose the UScan vs. dealing with him. ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/58 "2010-08-09T18:22:44Z")
Take her out and make the date a dull one. This will have her lose interest in you but so long as you pull it off just right, she will provide only standard service at the store. If she still likes you despite the bad date, go out a few more times and have substandard sex. Skip the nightly masturbation session so when you do end up in bed with her, you have a proverbial loaded gun. The 10-second coitus session _should_ make her lose interest in you. If that _still_ doesn’t work, maybe have her meet your friends or parents but coach them beforehand, letting them know that they gotta treat her like shit. If this still doesn’t work, just act disinterested in her hobbies and passions, hopes and dreams, etc. Occasionally slap her around while wearing a wife-beater and drinking cheap beer. Intentionally break her stuff after she moves in and don’t celebrate any of her birthdays or anniversaries. Eventually when you have kids, treat the kids terribly, neglect them, and so on. Then, one day when you’re in your death bed and she’s by your side, tell her you weren’t interested in her since decades ago when you and her met at the store she worked at. Or you could avoid all that and just be straight up with her. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/59 "2010-08-09T18:29:18Z")
Or the OP can just straight out tell her to stop flirting with him next time. Which will be good for her, because she can go home and tell her friends on a message board how this old dude actually thought she was hitting on him because she smiled and was nice to him like she does with all of her clients. It’s the _ciiiiiiircle of liiiiiiiife_. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669/60 "2010-08-09T18:34:05Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@DragonAsh](#): > > > > Cite? > > My post is my cite. Duh. And if you were, your post would be a sight? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-flirting/549669.md?page=4)