# Stop fucking around in the halls, you cocksuckers! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 26, 2004, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145 "2004-09-26T07:19:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/41 "2004-09-27T15:35:02Z")
> [@pugluvr](#): > > I thought it was commercial hyperbole, but the OP makes it sound like real life. How can one possibly live and study like that? Most of the people I know don’t study in their room–how can you get anything done with distractions like the computer, TV, etc.? I can see how it would be hard for her to _sleep_, but as for studying, she could always go find a nice, quiet library or something. [she = girl in commercial] ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/42 "2004-09-27T16:15:55Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > It’s Collins. I was told I should come here because I like to draw. Most people equate “likes to draw sometimes” with “is an artsy-fartsy hipster jerk-off who gets high all the time and wears emo glasses.” Now I’m stuck here, more or less, I don’t fit in at all, and I have to deal with these cocksuckers on my floor. I’m sorry you got bad info on where to live, but along the lines of **Muffin** said, suck it up and go to the library, or move out, or slowly boil into a ball of dormicidal rage and explode. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/43 "2004-09-27T16:18:45Z")
how did you know they were cocksuckers? Were they running up and down the hall yelling “WOOOOOOO! I AM SUCKING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/44 "2004-09-27T16:51:59Z")
> [@Garfield226](#): > > Well it CAN’T be Collins, now, can it? > Wait a minute, are you SURE it’s not Collins? > > Seriously, which one? I was there for a year and a half until Spring of last year. Ashton used to be pretty quiet, at least out in the boonies (Aydelotte) when I was there. Is Ashton even open now? Vlad/Igor ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/45 "2004-09-27T16:57:26Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Could be worse. I started out in “Disco” Briscoe. … Of course, things may have changed in 20 years. 😉 Jesus, I’m old. Man, I was there about the same time, living on 10A, 1981-1983. Geeze, that was a while ago, now that I think about it. It was also the reason for moving to Ashton. The only thing I miss is/was dropping pennies down the stairwell to see how far they’d fall. Collins always struck me as the hipster dorm. Vlad/Igor ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/46 "2004-09-27T17:57:25Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > …suck it up and go to the library… My read of the OP is that he clearly is not one of the “cocksuckers”, nor does he otherwise associate himself with all the cocksucking going on, and hence would not likely take your suggestion. It’s too bad, because, as I’ve found myself, it is much easier to concentrate on academics _after_ sexual gratification than before. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/47 "2004-09-27T18:05:00Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > _fap fap fap_ If you all will forgive a minor hijack, I was under the impression that “fap” is the sound a man’s nutsack makes slapping against another individual’s posterior while he is vigorously engaging in a rear entry of some or other sort. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/48 "2004-09-27T18:30:17Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > playing grab-ass with the annoying whores who come up to this floor. When calling an out call service, you can specify hair color and personality. Therefore, specifically requesting, for instance, a redhead non annoying whore would be the way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/49 "2004-09-27T20:07:48Z")
Frankly, after your comments in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=277935), I hope you never get any peace for the rest of your life, you miserable shit stain. As to the actual OP, suck it up, you fucking weenie. Maybe you should go out and join them, have fun and socialize. Loser. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/50 "2004-09-27T20:55:22Z")
> [@Neurotik](#): > > Frankly, after your comments in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=277935), I hope you never get any peace for the rest of your life, you miserable shit stain. Actually, I think Paul just needs to apply the **PaulFitzroy** Doctrine from that thread to this situation: Problem: a small group of individuals is making Paul unhappy. Solution: Paul should drive his car through the Quad, running people down left and right. Repeat until everyone loves Paul and no one is making noise in the hallway. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/51 "2004-09-27T21:02:35Z")
> [@pugluvr](#): > > I thought it was commercial hyperbole, but the OP makes it sound like real life. How can one possibly live and study like that? You study in the library, and you take naps in the academic building lounges. And you’re tired a lot. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/52 "2004-09-27T21:10:24Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Solution: Paul should drive his car through the Quad, running people down left and right. Repeat until everyone loves Paul and no one is making noise in the hallway. Actually, that’s probably a little closer to the mark than you intended. When I was at IU, some fuckhead got in a fight with a guy in a Jewish fraternity, so he came back later that night, burned down the frat house, and killed some people. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/53 "2004-09-27T21:15:28Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Actually, that’s probably a little closer to the mark than you intended. When I was at IU, some fuckhead got in a fight with a guy in a Jewish fraternity, so he came back later that night, burned down the frat house, and killed some people. Well, at least now we know where he got the idea for the **PaulFitzroy Doctrine** from… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/54 "2004-09-27T21:21:39Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > If you all will forgive a minor hijack, I was under the impression that “fap” is the sound a man’s nutsack makes slapping against another individual’s posterior while he is vigorously engaging in a rear entry of some or other sort. Disagree. I’ve seen online cartoons feature _fap_fap_fap_ in a manner indicative of self-pleasuring by male creatures. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/55 "2004-09-27T21:31:18Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Actually, that’s probably a little closer to the mark than you intended. When I was at IU, some fuckhead got in a fight with a guy in a Jewish fraternity, so he came back later that night, burned down the frat house, and killed some people. So was that the start of all those “No hate in our town” signs? In business windows and everything? There was an incident regarding harrassment of a Jewish man on campus when I was there as well, and I think the newspaper article (I worked at the paper) went into that a bit. There also seems to be an undercurrent of racial tension there. Probably not helped by the “Affirmative Action Bake Sale” a group held on campus a couple years ago (when those were going around) and the publication of an editorial cartoon (not drawn by an IU student) ([letters to the editor in response](http://www.idsnews.com/story.php?id=14558)) lampooning the flap over the University of Michigan (I think)'s “points” system. It depicted a nerdy white guy holding a sign saying “Perfect SAT Score, 12 points,” alongside a whistling black guy holding a sign saying “Being a Minority, 20 points.” (necessary context for reading the letters since I can’t find it online anyplace). ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/56 "2004-09-27T21:46:28Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Actually, that’s probably a little closer to the mark than you intended. When I was at IU, some fuckhead got in a fight with a guy in a Jewish fraternity, so he came back later that night, burned down the frat house, and killed some people. And he wasn’t even a student. He was some anti-social loser from town who tried to crash their party, and got pissed because they wouldn’t let him in. That led to the fight, which led to… . In 1991, a German student from California (IIRC) wouldn’t take no for an answer from his girlfriend. He made it into Eigenmann and shot her and a male friend dead, before running east to a subdivision close to the dorm and killing himself. In 1997, two years after we left Bloomington, someone with a love for foreigners gunned down an asian student in front of the Korean student center, just because he looked different. So, yeah, you get rid of one problem but create others in the process. Vlad/Igor ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/57 "2004-09-28T23:34:47Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > With all of that cocksucking going on, someone is going to graduate _Swallow Cum Laude_. That’s _Laudly…Swallow Cum Laudly_. And someone else in class would be destined to graduate _Magnum Cum Laudly_. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145/58 "2004-09-28T23:57:41Z")
> [@Yeticus Rex](#): > > And someone else in class would be destined to graduate _Magnum Cum Laudly_. Thomas Magnum Cum Laudly…eweeeeeee that’s creepy! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-fucking-around-in-the-halls-you-cocksuckers/266145.md?page=2)