# Stop it with the flirting already! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 21, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616 "2006-09-21T20:57:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/1 "2006-09-21T20:57:42Z")
I’m so sick of all this Doper flirting with the “How _you_ doin’?” crap. It’s time to bring this tomfoolery to a halt. No, I’m not against flirting on the boards. Far from it. What I’m sick of is the lame Joey Tribiani imitations. So, fellow Dopers – What catch-all flirt phrase would you like to see replace it? ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/2 "2006-09-21T21:02:54Z")
I’d like to _ **cite** _ you sometime! ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/3 "2006-09-21T21:03:52Z")
Hi there. Can I touch you with my penis? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/4 "2006-09-21T21:04:00Z")
“What’s up, doc?” “We could make beautiful music together?” “This could be the start of something eenteresting.” “Who’s bringing the protection?” ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/5 "2006-09-21T21:04:59Z")
“Do my breasts look like they need readjusted?” ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/6 "2006-09-21T21:06:45Z")
So we finally found something short, friendly, easy, clear, that works. Everybody understands it, which can’t be said for dropping handkerchiefs and expressing interest in each others hobbies. And it is self-mocking enough to have the “I was only joking” escape open if it goes wrong. It _works_. And you want to replace it because the novelty has worn off? What’s next? Saying you’re sick of sex and want something else to replace it? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/7 "2006-09-21T21:08:05Z")
Nice shoes. Wanna fuck? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/8 "2006-09-21T21:09:03Z")
[QUOTE=Maastricht] It _works_. And you want to replace it because the novelty has worn off? [/QUOTE] I’m so glad you understand. Can I touch you with my penis? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/9 "2006-09-21T21:12:10Z")
“How’s about if I slap your titties around for a bit?” “Want a big squirt?” “Shake my hand. Now replace ‘shake’ with ‘suck’ and ‘hand’ with ‘throbbing meat spear’.” ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/10 "2006-09-21T21:14:02Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] “Do my breasts look like they need readjusted?” [/QUOTE] Uh huh. They do. Obviously, I need to do this. No, baby, don’t fight it. Just give in to the adjustment. juuuuuust a little tweak there…yeah…daddy likes… What? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/11 "2006-09-21T21:13:31Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] “Do my breasts look like they need readjusted?” [/QUOTE] Uh huh. They do. Obviously, I need to do this. No, baby, don’t fight it. Just give in to the adjustment. juuuuuust a little tweak there…yeah…daddy likes… What? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/12 "2006-09-21T21:21:43Z")
“How’d you like something _straight_…” ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/13 "2006-09-21T21:28:08Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Nice shoes. Wanna fuck? [/QUOTE] Why does this phrase keep popping up in my life? Where did it come from? Yes, they are nice shoes. Yes, I do want to fuck. I’m not so sure about you, though. (Generic you, not Nemo) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/14 "2006-09-21T21:29:09Z")
[How about](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7793599&postcount=60) “Care to use my cooter as a hot dog bun?” or v.v.? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/15 "2006-09-21T21:33:55Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Nice shoes. Wanna fuck? [/QUOTE] Too indirect and trite. “Nice pussy. Wanna fuck?” That’s better. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/16 "2006-09-21T21:48:10Z")
[QUOTE=Musicat] Too indirect and trite. “Nice pussy. Wanna fuck?” That’s better. [/QUOTE] Oh great. Now somebody’ll be on our backs about cat threads. Oh. Wait… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/17 "2006-09-21T21:59:20Z")
I hope you don’t think this is too forward, but would you mind if I chewed on your butt? Thanks to Al. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/18 "2006-09-21T22:07:19Z")
[QUOTE=Smeghead] I hope you don’t think this is too forward, but would you mind if I chewed on your butt? [/QUOTE] Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. ---
**Author:** ![Kidney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/34f0e0/32.png) [@Kidney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kidney)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/19 "2006-09-21T22:16:04Z")
I wish that people wouldn’t flirt in the photo threads. Invariably, the cute people get all the "How ya doing"s and the regular folks just get to hear crickets. ---
**Author:** ![jake1964](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@jake1964](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jake1964)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/20 "2006-09-21T22:34:05Z")
[QUOTE=Tristan] Hi there. Can I touch you with my penis? [/QUOTE] ROFLMAO! Funniest damn thing I’ve read in I don’t know when. heheheh [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616.md?page=2)