# Stop it with the flirting already! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 21, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616 "2006-09-21T20:57:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ReBusEniGma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@ReBusEniGma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReBusEniGma)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/41 "2006-09-22T02:12:25Z")
Zebra, you must actually be a horse in zebra suit; you slipped and ‘neighed’ right in the middle of your post! That was beautiful!! 😃 As to the OP: Come sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up? ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/42 "2006-09-22T02:57:30Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] My favorite: “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.” The usual response: “My clothes aren’t wet.” The risposte: “I can fix that.” [/QUOTE] Better– “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini”–Mae West. But I’ll second the vote for Doc’s “Wanna see my post?” ---
**Author:** ![JCorre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3da27b/32.png) [@JCorre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JCorre)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/43 "2006-09-22T03:36:57Z")
“How’s it going? Great so anyway my dick isn’t going to just suck itself.” Yep that one gets me great results… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![akwally1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akwally1/32/3220_2.png) [@akwally1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akwally1)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/44 "2006-09-22T04:05:34Z")
Okay…going to hell… Hey, I figured out what Jesus would do. You! Mark ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/45 "2006-09-22T04:23:37Z")
I should warn you, it’s a really long OP. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/46 "2006-09-22T05:12:46Z")
How 'bout: What’s it gonna be-ee-ee-ee-ee-eee-ee? or You make my trouser puppet want to sing and dance! or Scream all you want, no one can hear you now! ---
**Author:** ![Denis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5e9695/32.png) [@Denis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Denis)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/47 "2006-09-22T05:56:54Z")
“Wanna pet my meat weasel?” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/48 "2006-09-22T14:02:54Z")
[QUOTE=DrDeth] “How’d you like something _straight_…” [/QUOTE] Alternatively, “I’d like to get something straight between us.” Or “Hi, I’m hard, are you wet?” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/49 "2006-09-22T20:27:41Z")
“Can I feed your fish?” ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/50 "2006-09-22T20:50:52Z")
((((your boobs)))) ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/51 "2006-09-22T21:18:38Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] “Do my breasts look like they **need readjusted**?” [/QUOTE] So they have that grammatical construction on the _other_ side of Lake Erie, too?! ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2006, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/52 "2006-09-23T15:28:28Z")
I was thinking about this thread last night, and a moment from an old TV program, **Remember WENN** , popped into my head. There’s a very attractive, flirty blonde on the program named Celia. She’s trying to get in good with the new boss, and as he passes her in the hall, she gives him a big smile and says, “Well _hi_!” He gives her a polite hello and walks right past her. Celia actually looks dashed. One of the other women in the office says, “Maybe you should try another line?” Celia pouts, “But, 'Well _hi_ has always worked! It -is- my only line!” So, I officially suggest, as a replacement to “How _you_ doin’?”, “Well _hi_!” ---
**Author:** ![CMiller](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@CMiller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CMiller)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2006, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/53 "2006-09-23T18:51:58Z")
8========@ Penetrates you @========8 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2006, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/54 "2006-09-23T19:40:32Z")
What do you say we start our own SDMB poker thread, baby? Just lie back, close your eyes and call me **Cecil**. I’m intrigued by your boobies and wish to subscribe to your vagina. Woohoo! I’m flirting like a mother fuck! Wanna play **Hal Briston** and the sheep? You can edit my posts, _anytime._ I’d like to post _you._ I see you brought furpie. All your boobies are belong to us. Wanna see _my_ BBQ Pit? I got yer “one ring.” Let me show you _my_ “smilie.” :o+:p=:D Is that a cite in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Check out _this_ sig line, baby! Can I see your sig? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/55 "2006-09-23T19:49:52Z")
“Like Tucker, I have a dream. But mine involves you naked with your legs spread.” “Can I put my staff in your hobbit hole?” “Can I put my lingam in your yoni?” ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2006, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/56 "2006-09-23T19:53:33Z")
“Let’s find out what .69. . . equals.” “Yarr! Wench, shiver me timber!” “Guns, Germs, Steel- I’ll give you all three in exchange for naked pictures.” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2006, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/57 "2006-09-23T20:41:06Z")
Show us your _other_ cat pics! ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/58 "2006-09-24T09:39:26Z")
Wanna put the Lou in Lewinsky? How about a dolphin ride? ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616/59 "2006-09-24T11:58:56Z")
How about some _gotcha ya_?! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-it-with-the-flirting-already/373616.md?page=2)