# Stop Making noise! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 3, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442 "2010-07-03T18:10:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/1 "2010-07-03T18:10:18Z")
Dear tortoise. I love you. You are very cute, and I’m glad that I saved you from a smushy end on the highway. Further I’m glad that your non native self is in my care, and not out in the wild where someone dumped you. PLEASE STOP BANGING AROUND. You wanted out of your tub, so out you went. You may NOT go back outside, as it is storming like a mofo. Leave the window alone. You have whole house to march about in. Please do so with a minimum of noise you scaly little fucker. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![emcee2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emcee2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emcee2k)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/2 "2010-07-03T18:25:08Z")
Wow, if I were to list all the problems I could foresee with owning a pet tortoise, “Too noisy” wouldn’t even occur to me. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/3 "2010-07-03T18:33:09Z")
> [@emcee2k](#): > > Wow, if I were to list all the problems I could foresee with owning a pet tortoise, “Too noisy” wouldn’t even occur to me. Yeah, I have a couple and they get stir crazy and try to walk out of their enclosure for hours. If you just put them in the freezer for a few minutes they quiet down. That was a joke, if you can’t let them outside, consider the tub. They can’t make as much noise there (since there are no corners for them to grind against) and when they squirt huge fountains of fishy shit all over the place you can at least clean it up. ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/4 "2010-07-03T18:46:44Z")
Sounds like you could use wall-to-wall carpeting. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/5 "2010-07-03T18:57:00Z")
> [@sleeping](#): > > Sounds like you could use wall-to-wall carpeting. No just a less retarded tortoise. She just doesn’t get the concept of windows and will bump into it over and over and over until I either mover her away from it, or she gets tired and wants back into her tub. ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/6 "2010-07-03T20:02:38Z")
Well, I don’t think tortoises are renowned for their intelligence. At least you don’t have to contend with a [pet alligator](http://www.joplinglobe.com/carthage_jasper_county/x212127898/Alligator-poses-new-experience-for-Carthage-Humane-Society-staff?keyword=secondarystory). ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/7 "2010-07-03T22:33:45Z")
> [@sleeping](#): > > Well, I don’t think tortoises are renowned for their intelligence. At least you don’t have to contend with a [pet alligator](http://www.joplinglobe.com/carthage_jasper_county/x212127898/Alligator-poses-new-experience-for-Carthage-Humane-Society-staff?keyword=secondarystory). I have tortoises and alligators. Neither are very bright. Tortoises though are far safer (for the keeper). Neither can understand clear glass as a barrier. They will though stop trying to walk through if an actual visual barrier is presented. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/8 "2010-07-03T22:56:09Z")
> [@CannyDan](#): > > I have tortoises and alligators. Neither are very bright. Tortoises though are far safer (for the keeper). > > Neither can understand clear glass as a barrier. They will though stop trying to walk through if an actual visual barrier is presented. I didn’t know that you kept crocodilians, Are you involved with a breeding facility or something? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/9 "2010-07-03T23:02:18Z")
Threads about pet turtles are really more MPSIMSish than Pitesque. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/10 "2010-07-03T23:05:16Z")
I hope this doesn’t turn into one of those urban horror stories that ends with “…it was actually a HUGE RAT!” ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/11 "2010-07-04T00:35:44Z")
**Superhal** , what the hell kind of rat grows a hard shell on its back? ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/12 "2010-07-04T00:39:14Z")
> [@nashiitashii](#): > > **Superhal** , what the hell kind of rat grows a hard shell on its back? An old, mutated one. Obviously. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/13 "2010-07-04T00:39:42Z")
> [@nashiitashii](#): > > **Superhal** , what the hell kind of rat grows a hard shell on its back? I was imagining that a huge rat ate the tortoise meat and then got stuck in the shell. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/14 "2010-07-04T01:48:23Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > I was imagining that a huge rat ate the tortoise meat and then got stuck in the shell. That would be really cool. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/15 "2010-07-04T01:49:04Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > That would be really cool. And really stinky. No. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/16 "2010-07-04T01:58:48Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > I was imagining that a huge rat ate the tortoise meat and then got stuck in the shell. It might end up looking something like [this.](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/09/Glyptodon_(Riha2000).jpg/781px-Glyptodon_(Riha2000).jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/17 "2010-07-04T02:05:28Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > It might end up looking something like [this.](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/09/Glyptodon_(Riha2000).jpg/781px-Glyptodon_(Riha2000).jpg) Best. Pet. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/18 "2010-07-04T02:41:57Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > Yeah, I have a couple and they get stir crazy and try to walk out of their enclosure for hours. A question re: your Turtles…are they happy together? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/19 "2010-07-04T04:26:34Z")
Go to your room. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442/20 "2010-07-04T04:33:04Z")
Why don’t you put something as a visual barrier on the other side of the glass? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-making-noise/545442.md?page=2)