# STOP SHITTING YOUR FUCKING PANTS!!! (Part II) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 20, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064 "2009-01-20T00:06:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/21 "2009-01-20T15:19:07Z")
Mswas, please take my heartfelt condolences. I want you to realize there is a day that is coming. My day was yesterday. I have a 3/4 pack of pull ups that hasn’t been touched in at least two weeks. There are no wipes in the house. No more midnight runs to buy diapers. No wondering what wipes work best. It certainly did not happen overnight, my daughter is 3. But I hope the day will come for you soon. My daughter is potty trained. Completely and totally\*. She goes by herself. She sings while on the potty. I’m not religious, but sweet baby Jesus, it’s been a long road. \*Now explaining that OUR poo goes in the potty, but the kitty poo is just fine in the litter box is the hard part, on the up side, she’s cleaning out the litter box, down side, she doesn’t really understand that you don’t need a half a roll of toilet paper to pick up a kitty turd, that is why there are scoops. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/22 "2009-01-20T16:33:15Z")
Ha, we don’t scoop the kitty litter, we just toss it every couple of days, so we don’t let her play in the litter. I certainly hope that she gets potty trained sooner rather than later. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/23 "2009-01-20T16:43:06Z")
**mswas** , the solution to your problem is easy. Buy vinegar-flavored potato chips. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/24 "2009-01-20T18:23:03Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > **mswas** , the solution to your problem is easy. > > Buy vinegar-flavored potato chips. Now that’s just gross. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/25 "2009-01-20T18:31:47Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > **mswas** , the solution to your problem is easy. > > Buy vinegar-flavored potato chips. > [@mswas](#): > > Now that’s just gross. No, no, they’re very tasty…but…I don’t think I’m ever going to eat them again now. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/26 "2009-01-20T18:50:45Z")
1 girl, many cups. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/27 "2009-01-20T18:53:17Z")
> [@maeglin](#): > > 1 girl, many cups. now that’s just wrong!!! ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/28 "2009-01-20T19:06:12Z")
I’m loving this saga. You’ve got to let us know when she’s finally completely trained. At least she does try to keep her pee and her food separate, though. A cousin of mine used to hide snacks in her diaper. She called it her “pock” (pocket). ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/29 "2009-01-20T20:12:40Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > Don’t shit where you eat! > > So I started the thread about my daughter shitting in her diaper right after it was changed. People said she was ready for potty training, and they were right. The problem now is that she’s peeing in any cup available. Just a minute ago she poored a bunch of chips into a bowl she had just dumped her piss out of. > > _sigh_ And those of us who said she was probably ready had NO idea these kind of hyjinx would ensue. I promise we didn’t make that suggestion with ANY secret chuckles about what was likely to be the next step. Even those of us with five children now successfully potty trained. No idea, really. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/30 "2009-01-20T20:30:14Z")
> [@beanpod](#): > > At least she does try to keep her pee and her food separate, though. A cousin of mine used to hide snacks in her diaper. She called it her “pock” (pocket). Apparently during WWII there were a lot of children who were homeless and orphaned, and so didn’t develop in a social milieu. They were basically “wild childs.” When the war ended the Red Cross came in to take care of these kids. They were given, among other things, chocolate. One particular boy kept his chocolate in his back pocket, where it got pretty melty. Many of the Red Cross workers were well-to-do women that grew up in “proper” homes, and were well-schooled in good manners. They were shocked – shocked, I tells ya – to see this kid reach into the back of his pants, pull out a hand covered in brown goo, and lick it off. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/31 "2009-01-20T20:31:34Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > And those of us who said she was probably ready had NO idea these kind of hyjinx would ensue. I promise we didn’t make that suggestion with ANY secret chuckles about what was likely to be the next step. Even those of us with five children now successfully potty trained. No idea, really. > > Enjoy, > Steven So much for the wisdom of the ages. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/32 "2009-01-20T20:43:24Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > So much for the wisdom of the ages. 😃 Some things you just can’t pass on, yanno? If I had told you she’d do something like this, would you have believed me? I wouldn’t have believed someone if they had told me a three year who had been potty trained would leave the perfectly good house, with two working bathrooms, and go out into the garage and pee against the tire of the minivan parked there. I wouldn’t have believed one of the kids(age suppressed to minimize embarrassment for all parties) would come back from a bike ride around the neighborhood and decide they couldn’t hold it long enough to get inside and take a poop beside the storage shed in the back yard(to be fair, it was pretty loose, so it probably was coming ready or not). Or that an even OLDER kid would then go to investigate and STEP IN IT. Some things you just have to learn by experience and no words of wisdom will do. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/33 "2009-01-20T20:44:44Z")
God, she’s peeing in everything she can find to pee in. Now it was her little tool box. It’s like science class. “What can I pee in?” And I would’ve believed you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/34 "2009-01-20T20:47:01Z")
Make sure she goes to bed on time. You don’t want her to catch a segment of “Will it float?” on Letterman. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/35 "2009-01-20T21:24:45Z")
I’m laughing like an idiot reading this, which I really need as I feel awful. So thanks. In the same vein as **Auntbeast’s** comment: My kid was four freaking years old, and still not completely potty trained. It was not a question of being physically ready. Here’s how physically ready she was. We would put a pull-up on her for overnight (since 12 hours is an awful long time to hold it), and the little stinker would wait all damn day until we put on that pull-up, and then poop in it. She had superhuman bowel-control powers, but she only used them for evil! But - finally we got her over that. And the other day, when I was discussing her diet with someone, they asked about her bowel habits, and I said, “I don’t really know - she takes care of all that by herself.” It felt good to say that. I admit that potty training is one reason why I’ve decided not to have any further children. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/36 "2009-01-20T22:05:33Z")
Heh, it is a bit of a pain in the ass, I must admit. She still doesn’t comprehend that she can poo in the potty. I found another one on the floor. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/37 "2009-01-21T00:48:49Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Even those of us with five children now successfully potty trained. No idea, really. > > Enjoy, > Steven Your signature is quite apt in that post actually. Well done, Steven. ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/38 "2009-01-21T04:03:49Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > Heh, it is a bit of a pain in the ass, I must admit. She still doesn’t comprehend that she can poo in the potty. I found another one on the floor. Sheesh! Do you take her on a schedule? Every 45 minutes to an hour is about right for middle-of-the-road potty training. Take her on this schedule and give the treat when she goes. If she’s still having accidents, you might want to reduce the interval. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/39 "2009-01-21T05:25:45Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Apparently during WWII there were a lot of children who were homeless and orphaned, and so didn’t develop in a social milieu. They were basically “wild childs.” When the war ended the Red Cross came in to take care of these kids. They were given, among other things, chocolate. One particular boy kept his chocolate in his back pocket, where it got pretty melty. Many of the Red Cross workers were well-to-do women that grew up in “proper” homes, and were well-schooled in good manners. They were shocked – shocked, I tells ya – to see this kid reach into the back of his pants, pull out a hand covered in brown goo, and lick it off. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again; \*Never \*assume the brown goo on a toddler’s hand is chocolate - and never, \*ever \*lick it off for them. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064/40 "2009-01-21T18:44:40Z")
I shouldn’t laugh. I really shouldn’t. Oh, the hell with it. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It’s always an adventure, isn’t it! Moon Unit has: [ul] [li]Taken a dump on the carpet (during bottomless potty-training time)[/li][li]Continued taking that same dump, on the potty chair[/li][li]Coated herself with results of same while I was racing to determine whether the dump had begun while she was outside the room (it had - two piles on her bedroom rug)[/li][li]Peed in a hastily-emptied soft-drink cup (when she was in undies, and we’d been driving, and it had been 40 minutes since her last potty break so she SHOULDN’T HAVE NEEDED TO, and there was no bathroom in sight… fortunately there was a trash can near where we pulled off the road in a hurry[/li][li]Done the same a week later… only we wound up in the parking lot at the Iwo Jima Memorial for the cup-filling (which led to Typo Knig musing out loud that we had in fact just desecrated a national monument). For quite some time after those two, we made a point of always keeping a disposable cup in the car![/li][li]Peed in the (fortunately-plastic-lined) trash can in her room, when she was nearly 6 and just didn’t feel like walking the 6 feet to the bathroom…sigh. At least she told us about it. :::shakes head:::[/li][/ul] No chip bowls yet though, you got us beat on that one! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-shitting-your-fucking-pants-part-ii/482064.md?page=3)