# Stop the presses. Amazon reviewer misses point. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 20, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135 "2004-02-20T02:46:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/1 "2004-02-20T02:46:01Z")
I know, I know. I’m looking to continue updating my music collection to CD, and I was browsing Amazon for _The Complete Robert Johnson_. I know it’s fantastic stuff. I’ve had it on tape since it was originally reissued. I just wanted it on CD. I made the severe mistake of browsing the reviews. Most of them were positive, or at least understanding (“Songwriting was great, guitar was amazing. Recording quality is dated, etc.”) Then I happened upon this one from **Blues Lover** in Detroit: > [@](#): > > I kept hearing about Robert Johnson, so I decided to listen to some of his music. What a dissapointment! First of all, Johnson plays way too slow and his music has no beat whatsoever. There aren’t even any drums on the record. Furthermore, Johnson doesn’t even play the electric guitar so there arent any cool guitar solos. His singing isn’t any better, because his lyrics are unbelievably corny and you can’t help but laugh at his whiny voice. For some real blues music you should listen to Led Zeppelin because at least he has good songs like Stairway to Heaven. I know Led Zeppelin is a good guitar player because I saw him play on the Song Remains the Same and he can play really fast and good. Robert Johnson’s music is completely unlistenable and a can’t understand how anyone could like it. My jaw just dropped. Sorry, had to share. Somebody less humor-impaired than me: is this a joke review? The stuff about Zeppelin makes it sound jokey, but then the other remarks make it seem serious. I’m confused. Cue the Doper waiting in the wings just ready to agree wholeheartedly with **Blues Lover**. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/2 "2004-02-20T03:02:15Z")
As someone who’s read quite a few Amazon reviews in his life, I can tell one thing: That’s not out of the ordinary. A sizeable amount of the reviews on Amazon are of a similar “quality”. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/3 "2004-02-20T03:14:27Z")
He knows Led Zeppelin has a good guitarist because he _saw_ him play guitar! Silly me, I’d been trying to determine guitarist quality by _listening_ to people play! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/4 "2004-02-20T03:18:14Z")
No no. You misread that. See, Led Zeppelin _is_ a good guitar player. You’re missing half the humor here. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jplacer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85f322/32.png) [@Jplacer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jplacer)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/5 "2004-02-20T03:18:47Z")
He is right, Led. Zep is way better … just kidding. I have to admit, it took me a while to get into Robert Johnson. I love the blues, but the roots blues is tough to listen too sometime. Now that I have gotten older I really enjoy the “musical stylings” of Robert Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/6 "2004-02-20T03:22:09Z")
Sometimes they’re jokes, but some people are completely clueless. Like for the movie “The Unforgiven” (directed by John Huston, starring Burt Lancaster and Audrey Hepburn). The main premise of this film (not really a spoiler, but don’t read if you don’t want to know _anything_) is that Hepburn is an **adopted** sister. ADOPTED. So why is it so horrible for her “brother” (Lancaster) to be in love with her, and her to be in love with him? But according to one reviewer, this was EWWWW gross, because brother and sister are in love with each other. And then there was this murder mystery with Tommy Lee Jones, where one of the reviewers complained that “we never learned who murdered the guy or why.” You stupid moron, if you were awake you’d have KNOWN who did it. It wasn’t a big secret! _smack_! Pay attention! Oh, and my favorite! A movie with a big “twist” mystery ending (I usually guess these things but I NEVER guessed this one) had it spoiled, with _no warning_, by one of the clueless reviewers. This person just blurted out who dunnit and why. How did this get past [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com)? I even went so far to write to Amazon, point to the review in question and tell them that they _really_ needed to edit it, but last I checked, nothing had been done. And then in the music area, the thing that pisses me off, as a big film music buff, is when people automatically assume that a soundtrack CD is going to have all the pop songs from the movie. No. They. Don’t. HAVE. To. _ **NO.** _ A lot of these movies have film score composers (people like Jerry Goldsmith, James Horner, John Debney) who write very lovely film scores, and sometimes the CD features this instrumental music instead of the pop compilation music. Or sometimes it’ll have a pop song or two, but the majority will be the orchestral score. This is one of the reasons why Amazon lists all tracks on most of these CDs and in many cases, offers RealAudio snippets of several pieces, so you cn hear what’s on the CD. So, to complain that you bought this CD and it didn’t have xxx pop song (when the information on Amazon’s page _specifically_ doesn’t list that song) is assinine. To them slam the beautiful orchestral music of Goldsmith, Debney or Horner, not because their music is _bad_, but because it “doesn’t have a beat” or “is boring” is equally assinine. Don’t buy a film score CD if what you want is a compilation of pop songs. Don’t rate this fine CD with a low score just because you were too stupid or inattentive to actually know what you were buying. What a bunch of morons! ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/7 "2004-02-20T03:42:30Z")
It’s a troll. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/8 "2004-02-20T03:44:55Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > No no. You misread that. See, Led Zeppelin _is_ a good guitar player. > > You’re missing half the humor here. 🙂 My God. I was actually giving this guy _too much_ credit. I am agog. Viz. -\> :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/9 "2004-02-20T08:27:58Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > My God. I was actually giving this guy _too much_ credit. I am agog. > > Viz. -\> :eek: I thought Zeppelin was _way_ better than Led. ---
**Author:** ![typhoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed8c4c/32.png) [@typhoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typhoon)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/10 "2004-02-20T08:43:32Z")
I think you were whooshed. I mean, who the hell really thinks that Led Zeppelin is a guy? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/11 "2004-02-20T09:05:22Z")
He _is_ a guy. Pink Floyd is his wife. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/12 "2004-02-20T11:53:48Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > He _is_ a guy. Pink Floyd is his wife. Pink Floyd is a dog silly! He’s Seamus’ brother. ---
**Author:** ![moodtobestewed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ab097/32.png) [@moodtobestewed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moodtobestewed)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/13 "2004-02-20T13:31:05Z")
I would tend to agree that this guy is probably a troll. But if you’re familiar with One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn, [this review](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/cm/member-reviews/-/A1KWDVZL3409ZZ/1/ref=cm_cr_auth/104-7963311-2513526) will have you rolling on the floor with laughter as it’s impossible to conceive of a more clueless review from a sincere individual. Anytime a review begins with “OK, I’m going to expose a harsh reality that seems to be going unspoken up until now” you know you’re in for a treat. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/14 "2004-02-20T15:32:30Z")
1SDR, don’t call her a dog, she’s just Mizunderstood! ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/15 "2004-02-20T15:38:44Z")
Wonder what he’d have to say about John Lee Hooker. ---
**Author:** ![Nathan\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/47e85d/32.png) [@Nathan\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nathan_S)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/16 "2004-02-20T16:37:44Z")
Wow, that’s so ignorant it’s scary. If I had to guess, I’d say that “Blues Lover” is about 14 years old and has never heard any real blues music. However, I love his “fast=good” evaluation of “Led Zeppelin’s” guitar playing skills. Why get anal about sloppy, shitty sounding guitar work? Woohoo, it’s fast! ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/17 "2004-02-20T17:20:26Z")
Yeah, but can Led Zepplin play the flute like Jethro Tull? Mr. Tull is the best flute player in Rock and Roll, baby. Jethro Tull is great because he plays really fast. Not like those lame slow flute players. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/18 "2004-02-21T00:20:15Z")
Well, if it’s any comfort to you, Robert Johnson has my Ringnecked Parrot’s stamp of approval. He attempts to sing along to my Robert Johnson CD while holding his wings open, stretching his left foot, and shrinking his eye pupils. That is a Ringneck’s way of saying it’s a 5 star record. If he doesn’t like music he ignores it. He ignores Led Zeppelin. ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/19 "2004-02-21T00:46:35Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > He _is_ a guy. Pink Floyd is his wife. Is he Graf Zeppelin’s brother? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135/20 "2004-02-21T01:05:15Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > Wonder what he’d have to say about John Lee Hooker. I think it’s disgraceful, the way he glorifies prostitution. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-the-presses-amazon-reviewer-misses-point/230135.md?page=2)