# Stop trying to make me feel bad **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 13, 2002, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798 "2002-06-13T04:58:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/61 "2002-06-14T15:22:00Z")
:Glares at **BlinkingDuck** : ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/62 "2002-06-14T15:45:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\*Because you _invite_ intrusions into your own home _by having a phone_. Just as [Cervaise](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=51270&highlight=telemarketer+speaks) _invites_ running jigsaws _by having a butthole_. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/63 "2002-06-14T17:13:41Z")
**pldennison** , it takes just as much time and effort to say “Sorry, you’ve got the wrong number” as it does to say “I’m not interested, thanks.” Thus, if you’re talking about people “Stealing your time,” then the two instances are exactly alike. Telemarketers don’t focus on “Let’s make sure we call John Doe today,” they just go down a list of phone numbers. And you know what? Some people actually DO invest or buy what they’re selling. It’s a completely valid business practice, just like those people who push perfume samples at the entrances to malls. Sure, they’re a nussance, but the amount of time it takes to say “No thanks, not interested” is hardly worth getting bent out of shape about. And I still don’t get this whole “invasion of privacy” bullshit you all are tossing about. On the few days I get to sleep in, if a telemarketer calls and wakes me up, I have no qualms telling them I’m not interested, hanging up, and getting back to sleep without feeling violated or intruded upon. Peeved I got woken up? Sure, but I don’t loose any sleep over it. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/64 "2002-06-14T17:35:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sublight \* > \*\*Just as [Cervaise](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=51270&highlight=telemarketer+speaks) _invites_ running jigsaws _by having a butthole_. \*\* Man I love this thread. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/65 "2002-06-14T18:46:41Z")
Hey, **In Conceivable** , next time someone does that, ask to speak to their supervisor. Then tell the supervisor to take you off the list. I have a sneaking suspicion that when the company gets desperate, they start calling people dispositioned as “not interested,” and I also think that a lot of the reps are really reluctant to disposition a “do not call” (I’m not, but I know a few of the people that have been working there for a long time are). You speak to a supervisor, though, and you’re _definately_ taken off the list. This is, of course, assuming that Citibank doesn’t contract out to multiple companies–it’s just how the place I work for goes. ---
**Author:** ![WV\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@WV\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WV_Woman)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/66 "2002-06-15T00:35:47Z")
I used to do telemarketing in college. I understand your pain. I go out of my way to be nice to telemarketers. I make sure to be firm and tell them I’m not interested but I always tell them to have a nice day. Do I get a gold star? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/67 "2002-07-01T09:13:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angel of the Lord \* > \*\*Dear people I have to call at work: > > Yes, I am a telemarketer. Please don’t personally insult me. You have every right to be peeved, or annoyed, or whatever. I mean, I called you. I hate this job, but that’s what I’m stuck doing, and I’m sorry. Hang up, get mad at the company, swear at Citibank, whatever. That’s fine. > > You don’t need to personally insult me. Doing this to someone who knocked on your door to sell you something would not be acceptable. Doing this to someone who annoyed you at the store would not be acceptable. Doing this to a store clerk who is stuck following store policy would not be acceptable. Why do you think it’s acceptable for you to tell me to “drop dead?” Why do you think it’s acceptable for you to tell me that I’m a lazy, stupid, low IQ loser? Why is it acceptable for you to unleash a string of profanity at me? I’m not doing the same to you…I mean, get mad that I called, waste my time, hang up on me, whatever…say you want to be put on the do not call list; I’ll put you on there. > > I don’t want this job. I don’t want to annoy people. I hate having to sell things. But it’s the only place that’ll pay more than minimum wage and’ll hire me for two months. Please don’t make it any worse than it has to be. I’m sorry I called, ok? I’m trying to be nice, and I won’t endlessly rebutt…I’m not trying to scam you; I actually think this is a pretty cool offer. So please stop telling me I’m worthless. > > * * * > > Dear Ex-Boyfriend: > > I’m glad we’re talking again. But I _still_ don’t want to hear about how you’re trying to date this girl. I mean, what the hell do you see in her? She’s a druggie; she shoplifts; she’s not even that nice and YOU ADMIT IT. Why do you want her? Why do you have to tell me you want her? > > It just reminds me of the fact that I am unattatched and have no idea of how to get attatched…or even of how I can get a date. Your romantic life isn’t the best way to restart a close friendship with an ex. Give me a few weeks, ok? > > * * * > > Dear Former Friend: > > I’m sorry about what I did to your friend last year. I still feel guilty about it. I wish I hadn’t done it, and I wouldn’t do it again. He, however, has brought himself to converse politely with me when necessary, and to leave me alone when he doesn’t need to talk. > > Why, then, do you feel this need to make me feel guilty? We were friends for a long time, so you know I can do guilt trips with the best of them. You know I don’t need any help to do it. Why can’t you just leave me the heck alone? > > * * * > > Dear World: > > I’m sorry for everything I am and everything I’ve done. Just lay the hell off of me for a while. I don’t need this _skata_, and I don’t think I’ve deserved it. Go bother someone else, make peace with yourself, get some common sense, whatever. Just stop dumping on me. Cause I’m sorry. I’m sorry I telemarket, I’m sorry I dated you, I’m sorry I wronged your friend. Let it go. Leave me alone. > > …Thanks… \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/68 "2002-07-01T09:15:40Z")
Whoops! Sorry about that. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/69 "2002-07-01T14:35:20Z")
AOL, stop letting people make you feel guilty over stuff you can’t change. You did something bad to someone? That sucks, but all you can really do is apologize and try to do better in the future. People who continually beat you over the head with the past are destructive influences, so cut them out of your life. You hate your job? Again, that sucks, but I really get the feeling you thought you’d hate the job when you took it, so I’m afraid I’ve got pretty limited sympathy there. As for the whole boyfriend thing, what were you thinking? This guy is pretty obviously a loser, so what exactly did you see in him? Again, destructive influence on your life, see above. Still, even though I feel kind of bad for you, I understand perfectly well why people treat telemarketers the way they do. When I was living in the dorms those people drove my straight up the fucking wall. Asking them not to call back was about as effective as pissing into the wind. My roomie and I finally started telling them “I’m sorry, she moved,” or else “She dropped out.” With some companies that didn’t work either. One company called a record breaking 10 times in one day (5 times for each of us, and those are just the calls we were in the room to take) even when we told them repeatedly not only that this person no longer lived there, but that someone from that same company had already called that day. Jenn finally told them if they called again she was filing harassment charges, and they finally took the hint. That, my friends, is why there is such venom towards telemarketers. I’ve actually lucked into a pretty good way of not dealing with them, though. We just moved, and our phone is in Dr. J’s name, so all the telemarketers ask to speak to him. When I tell them he’s not available, they ask if I’m Mrs. DrJ. I truthfully tell them no, and giggle to myself as they flounder around. The next step of course, is asking if Mrs. DrJ is around, and again I truthfully say she’s not. I then ask if I can take a message or help them with anything, and they never have any interest in speaking to me. It sucks for Dr.J, but I have a terribly good time with it. 😃 Another fun approach is to try to sell the telemarketer something they have no earthly use for. When they say they’re not interested, give them a huge list of arguments in favor of your product. Keep interrupting them if necessary to get your pitch in. You can also try to convert them to the obscure religion of your choice. It usually pisses them off so much they don’t call again for a while, but you’ve never been rude or abusive to them. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/70 "2002-07-01T16:17:12Z")
::tilts head:: Meh? Oh…this thing…I thought it died. BTW, as long as it’s here…I quit my job, I have a new boyfriend, and the ex-friend-of-a-friend stopped bothering me. So yays. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798/71 "2002-07-01T22:29:46Z")
Congratulations on quitting. You’ve done the right thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-make-me-feel-bad/113798.md?page=3)