# Stop trying to paint me with the 'LOSER' brush **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 21, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-paint-me-with-the-loser-brush/281041 "2004-12-21T20:42:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-paint-me-with-the-loser-brush/281041/21 "2004-12-22T15:18:33Z")
> [@yosemite](#): > > Yeah, there may be an element of that. (I confess I haven’t been keeping track.) But whether he has a tendency to do that or not, Incubus simply needs to stop starting such threads. Perhaps he’s totally justified in his rants (like I said, I haven’t been keeping track), but either way, there _are_ people here who thrive in being snarky backbiters, and it appears that, right or wrong, he’s giving them ammunition. Yes, but he’s full of self-confidence and doesn’t care what other people think, so it shouldn’t matter to him. “…its not like they make me feel insecure. I could care less.” If he feels that way about people with whom he interacts IRL every day, I can’t think of why he’d be more vulnerable to faceless yaboos online. On-topic, OP, if you really don’t care what they think, don’t bitch. If you do care, don’t insist - while you’re bitching - that you don’t. I mean, “I don’t care what they think, how do I make them STOP?” is kinda…inconsistent? ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-paint-me-with-the-loser-brush/281041/22 "2004-12-22T17:13:49Z")
Because since I’m one of the most senior people there, I have a quasi-leadership role going on. If the managers are busy with something else, then I am in charge. But if the other employees doubt me, then they are more likely to not do what I say, or argue with me. When I say its about respect, I mean that they should respect me not to spend all this time wondering about why I did this and that. It doesn’t matter. But if they don’t think I’m capable, it is going to be an uphill battle getting them to do what they are supposed to do. Will they get fired for not doing what they are supposed to do, just because I was the one that told them? Eventually, but I would rather they just do their damn jobs. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-paint-me-with-the-loser-brush/281041/23 "2004-12-22T18:31:37Z")
If you are in charge then be in charge. Be firm and fair but don’t let people run over you or get away with not doing their job because they feel they can do so without repercussions. Don’t accept backtalk and questioning but try to avoid the “there’s a new sheriff in town” mentality as well. I often work as alternate charge nurse when needed. When filling in for someone I follow what I call The Golden Rule by proxy philosophy, that is I treat others like the person who I’m filling in for would treat them. As far as the whispering and talking behind your back is concerned, let it go. These are teenagers and you can’t change it. As long as they do what they are supposed to do it’s better to choose your fights. ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-paint-me-with-the-loser-brush/281041/24 "2004-12-22T18:33:58Z")
Well unless you are avoiding going to a different job… I’d say your being victim to the common idea that money is all that work is about… plus the “Loser vs Winner” american mentality. If you ain’t making bucks you couldn’t possibly be “happy” stupidity aka… Loser. Having a job you like is rare… and having a flexible schedule too… enjoy it while you can I say. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-paint-me-with-the-loser-brush/281041/25 "2004-12-22T20:20:42Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > If he feels that way about people with whom he interacts IRL every day, I can’t think of why he’d be more vulnerable to faceless yaboos online. Maybe the faceless gutless losers won’t hurt _him_, but I see no reason why he should do something to give them _more_ to work with. Why give them that satisfaction? Let the gutless backbiters find some other target. Or, at least, give them less material to work with, so they’ll have to work harder to find something to gossip about. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stop-trying-to-paint-me-with-the-loser-brush/281041.md?page=1)