# Store and other business names that bug you **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 17, 2020, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001 "2020-04-17T19:36:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/81 "2020-04-19T22:41:22Z")
There’s a small chain of consignment stores in my region called Stuff, Etc. Great place, too; unfortunately, it’s closed for now. > **[Stuff Etc Quality Consignment Stores | Iowa Consignment | Stuff Etc](https://www.shopstuffetc.com/)** > > Get monthly news, updates and promotions from our Stuff Etc locations.   Why Consign your Quality Used Clothing or Housewares with Stuff Etc? Keep Your Closet Current Make Money We Know What Sells and When Track What You've Made Online Start... ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/82 "2020-04-20T04:34:43Z")
I wish I was kidding about this but I am not. The cafeteria where I work is called Expressos. Agreed on Ruth’s Chris and Fifth Third. Pick a name already. I don’t take issue with iPod but “podcast” has always bugged me. Along the line of Boar’s Head, I remember a poster here (might have been our dearly departed Opal) having an absolute meltdown over anything (particularly food) with the word Buckeyes in it. Apparently everything in and around Ohio can be named Buckeye-something and all the poor poster could see was deer eyeballs. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/83 "2020-04-20T09:59:52Z")
The business name that always bugs me is “[Name of Product or Service] King.” It strikes me as the lamest name imaginable. Mattress King, Tire King, Sushi King, whatever—it’s just lazy. Of course, there’s always a crown in the logo. Kings generally inherit their positions and are useless figureheads, so I don’t see the appeal. I can’t fathom someone thinking, “Well, this business is the KING of what they do, so I should definitely patronize it.” For some reason, “Queen” seems to be far less popular. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/84 "2020-04-20T10:33:46Z")
Not to mention Sofa King…its sofaking lazy. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/85 "2020-04-20T12:02:21Z")
Our local Vietnamese restaurant is named **What the Pho**. Also, not a business but a product. Pilsbury used to have a chocolate bundt cake mix that had a gooey chocolate inside. It’s name: **Tunnel of Fudge**. mmm ---
**Author:** ![albino\_manatee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/albino_manatee/32/2_2.png) [@albino\_manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/albino_manatee)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/86 "2020-04-20T12:47:48Z")
gourmet implies/suggests fine-food and drink … elaborate preparation … haute cuisine … etc. nothing about **jimmy-johns** comes close to that depiction … it’s simply a submarine sandwich fast-food chain … no more … no less. **jj** uses the term as marketing hype. > **[Jimmy John's | Order Sandwiches for Delivery or Pick Up](https://www.jimmyjohns.com/)** > > Enjoy all Jimmy John's has to offer when you order online for delivery, catering or stop by a location near you. Jimmy John's is the ultimate local sandwich shop with gourmet sandwiches made from ingredients that are always freaky fresh. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/87 "2020-04-20T12:51:09Z")
> [@jnglmassiv](#): > > Fifth Third Bank is a silly name. Fifth Third Bank originated in Cincinnati. At a former job we had a satellite location in Cinci. The guy who ran it told me that the name came about when two banks, one on Third Street and one on Fifth Street, merged. The drunken connotation of the name “Third Fifth Bank” was considered undesirable, and the rest is history. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/88 "2020-04-20T14:03:41Z")
So they could have called it the Eighth Bank. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/89 "2020-04-20T15:15:33Z")
A new donut shop opened up near my office. That would normally be cause for rejoicing. But the name? **Onus Donuts.** Maybe it’s just me\*, but that’s an unappetizing name all around. \*It’s not just me. Before the world went to shit, I was outside a restaurant across the street, waiting for friends. A group of guys passing by was having a good time shouting one of, no, _ **the** _ relevant possible misspelling of that name. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/90 "2020-04-20T15:20:33Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Fifth Third Bank originated in Cincinnati. At a former job we had a satellite location in Cinci. The guy who ran it told me that the name came about when two banks, one on Third Street and one on Fifth Street, merged. The drunken connotation of the name “Third Fifth Bank” was considered undesirable, and the rest is history. Close but not quite. This has come up here a few times, but I’m on mobile and have no hope of finding a link. It isn’t about the street names, but the bank chartering system of the day. In most cities, there would be a First National Bank. If another bank under that charter came along, it would be the Second National Bank. And so on. Cincinnati got to at least the Fifth National Bank before the waves of consolidation came along. The rest of your story is correct. Worth knowing that this particular merger happened right before or during Prohibition, so the drinking context was especially unfavorable. edit: well shit, I lied. It turns out I _could_ find the link. And it’s [to a column from the master himself!](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2336/what-gives-with-fifth-third-bank/) double edit: this link fills in some gaps [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=889355](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=889355) ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/91 "2020-04-20T15:20:55Z")
> [@Pork\_Rind](#): > > A new donut shop opened up near my office. That would normally be cause for rejoicing. But the name? **Onus Donuts.** Maybe it’s just me\*, but that’s an unappetizing name all around. > \*It’s not just me. Before the world went to shit, I was outside a restaurant across the street, waiting for friends. A group of guys passing by was having a good time shouting one of, no, _ **the** _ relevant possible misspelling of that name. Considering how easy it would be to modify an O to an A, I expect at some point some pranksters will make the transformation a reality. Along the same lines, the popular video game Pac-Man was originally called Puck-Man, since the little dots were supposed to be pucks. Someone pointed out how easily a P could be modified to an F by scratching out part of the letter with a quarter, and the name was changed to Pac. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/92 "2020-04-20T16:05:46Z")
That reminds me of an incident in my career when we were working with a Japanese company selling electronics in the US. They came up with an advertising campaign using a cartoon woodpecker as a mascot (I don’t recall if it was actually Woody Woodpecker or just a similar character). The problem was, some of their slogans used the word “pecker” to refer to the character (like “The pecker says, this is a great product!”). We had to gently explain why that would not go over well in this country. ---
**Author:** ![skdo23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@skdo23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skdo23)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/93 "2020-04-20T16:34:37Z")
> [@filmore](#): > > Someone pointed out how easily a P could be modified to an F by scratching out part of the letter with a quarter… Which would’ve made the early 1980s even cooler than it was:cool:. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/94 "2020-04-20T16:44:40Z")
> [@bibliophage](#): > > Any intentionally misspelled name. Rationally, I know that it’s done for reasons to do with trademark law or advertising strategy. Emotionally though it’s like an ice pick to the brain: SavMor, Krispy Kreme, Chick-fil-A, Toys ‘R’ Us, La-Z-Boy, Tastee Freez, etc. I don’t have that strong reaction to a mere misspelling, but when it breaks the rules of phonetics as well, it’s really annoying. Thus, Krispy Kreme is tolerable, but SavMor, which reads as if it would rhyme with “have more”, is not. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/95 "2020-04-20T16:57:10Z")
> [@skdo23](#): > > On an opposite note, when I lived in New Haven, CT there was a bar called C.O. Jones. Probably my favorite name for an establishment ever. I’m puzzled. Is the name a play on words that I’m not getting? Or just good because of its simplicity? Also, as for memes, best username ever. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/96 "2020-04-20T17:07:18Z")
> [@Pork\_Rind](#): > > Close but not quite. This has come up here a few times, but I’m on mobile and have no hope of finding a link. It isn’t about the street names, but the bank chartering system of the day. In most cities, there would be a First National Bank. If another bank under that charter came along, it would be the Second National Bank. And so on. Cincinnati got to at least the Fifth National Bank before the waves of consolidation came along. The rest of your story is correct. Worth knowing that this particular merger happened right before or during Prohibition, so the drinking context was especially unfavorable. > edit: well shit, I lied. It turns out I _could_ find the link. And it’s [to a column from the master himself!](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2336/what-gives-with-fifth-third-bank/) > > double edit: this link fills in some gaps [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=889355](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=889355) I stand corrected, thank you. A quote from Cecil’s Fifth Third SD article you linked to: “A few losers are under the impression that the Fifth and Third national banks of Cincinnati were so called because they were located on Fifth and Third _streets_.” Cecil indirectly called me a loser! Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/97 "2020-04-20T17:52:03Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > I’m puzzled. Is the name a play on words that I’m not getting? Or just good because of its simplicity? > > Also, as for memes, best username ever. C.O. Jones = cojones = slang for testicles 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/98 "2020-04-20T18:14:37Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Thus, Krispy Kreme is tolerable, but SavMor, which reads as if it would rhyme with “have more”, is not. I find Chick-fil-A particularly annoying, because I can’t help but reading it as one word and pronouncing it in my mind as “chickfillah.” ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/99 "2020-04-20T18:44:55Z")
> [@solost](#): > > “A few losers are under the impression that the Fifth and Third national banks of Cincinnati were so called because they were located on Fifth and Third _streets_.” > > Cecil indirectly called me a loser! Ouch. Nah, some _loser_ told you a bad story. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001/100 "2020-04-20T19:07:32Z")
> [@Pork\_Rind](#): > > Nah, some _loser_ told you a bad story. Hehe, he was kind of a loser. Shoulda known better than to buy his story 100%. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/store-and-other-business-names-that-bug-you/852001.md?page=6)