You’re a really, really shitty speller. And sentence constructor.
Carry on.
Personal insults aren’t allowed in MPSIMS. Knock it off.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
So, move the thread, twickster.
:dubious:
If y’all want to take the Ibanez hijack to the Pit, go ahead – most people are posting other stuff that’s completely MPSIMS appropriate.
Okay. Noted.
Sorry for the testiness. Seriously.
I guess this outburst can’t really be considered threadjacking since it provides such a good example of what the OP was requesting.
When I was a room service waiter, very briefly, one night I took an open faced roast beef sandwich to a room. The guy who opened the door said “It fucking took you long enough! Put it on the table!” I apologized, though really it hadn’t been that long at all, but he wouldn’t hear it- just “Mother fucker this” and “where’s the fucking au jus” that and then he called me faggot and insulted my mother. I kicked him in the nuts and left the room.
This hotel had a balcony that overlooked a 14 story atrium. As I was leaving he ran out of the room and hit me in the head with an ashtray. I turned and gave him two right jabs, the second knocking out his bottom teeth, which wasn’t hard since he was wearing dentures, but he countered by pulling a vintage Tab bottle (one of those with the speckled glass), breaking it on the head of a passing room attendant, and jabbing it into my midsection. You can imagine his surprise when he drew blood from the parasitic twin I had at the time but I expressed cold indifference!
From a maid’s cart I took a pillowcase and 16 C-cell batteries (quite serendipitous since nothing in the rooms ran on C-cells) and went to town on him. He deflected many of the blows with his walker, but one blow knocked out his left eye, though he had a spare in a small bag around his neck. As I moved in for the coup de grace he pulled a .38 snubnose and emptied it into my scrotum; years later I had to have three of my testicles removed just before a tennis match.
I lost it and went at him mano a mano, the two of us locked like Moriarty and Holmes at Reichenbach Falls, and soon we went 14 stories through the atrium crashing through the stained glass roof above the pool. (Today it’s a law that when there are atriums more than 12 stories there must be a balcony, but at the time this wasn’t the case.) Finding a Bowie knife in a glass case that had been opened by our fall (the hotel gift shop only sold things associated with Alamo personalities, which was odd) I held him face down and scalped him. I thought he was done for, but as I was giving an Arapaho victory dance he used his prosthetic left arm to trip me and I fell into a display of Jim Dickinson bobbleheads, grabbed a Mexican saber and said “It’s deguello, bitch!”, but by that time the store manager arrived and asked us to leave, and neither of us being savages we complied.
By this time we’d calmed down a bit, and we said “No hard feelings”, and he learned to be less abusive in the future, and I learned that some things you have to just let roll off you like blood off a scalp wound.
Then I learned the son of a bitch didn’t put a tip on his room bill! That really pissed me off.
Boy, Sampiro, if I had a nickel for every time that happened to me …
Oh, come now. Everybody knows that mods aren’t human, ergo they have no ego to bruise.
Sampiro - Meh. I could do all that loaded and with one arm tied behind me back. That’s how tuff I am.
:D::gives Sampiro a standing ovation::
Oh my god you guys - Sampiro’s story is totally made up - NOBODY orders an open faced roast beef sandwich at a hotel.
You’re all so gullible.
By og if that store manager had done that to me… lets just say it would have been on:p
Thanks a heap for making me remember the job I had answering phones for a computer leasing company. One particularly memorable customer decided he no longer wanted the very large computer he’d been leasing. Not surprisingly, he didn’t want to pay to ship the thing back to us (freight - did I mention this thing was heavy?), despite the fact that the contract made it clear that getting it back to us was his problem. The conversation ended with him asserting that he was going to wheel it out to the parking lot and leave it there until we sent someone to pick it up :rolleyes:
Well, pretty much the whole Sampiro ranticle is a work of glory, but, particularly delighting in:
" You can imagine his surprise when he drew blood from the parasitic twin I had at the time but I expressed cold indifference!"
And, where can ya get a Jim Dickinson bobblehead??? The mo’ better half of Memphis wants to know.
I thought it was funny!
I’ve been working as a bouncer for 11 years. Most of the really bad customer stories I know end with some degree of violence, but I don’t want to seem to be suffering from ITGS.