Slight hijack: National Lampoon Radio Hour bit from 35+ (?) years ago: Hero goes to old castle, narrating the whole time ala oldie radio shows–the door squeaked shut behind me, as, sure enough, you hear the door squeak shut. Vampire enters, babbles macho stuff, H grabs a handful of something and hurls it at V who exclaims, “That’s cinnamon! What are you going to do with that? Serve me cappuccino?” H takes out something from his pocket, aims it at V, and click. V:flashlight, no, daylight, yes. H whips out the cassette player–told you this was old–hits PLAY, and “Jesus Christ Superstar” begins to echo around the castle. V: for Chrissakes, NOOOOO! anything but that, and expires horribly.
Sorry, couldn’t get this in under the 5 minute edit time limit and didn’t want to get Administrators :eek: involved:
“…serve me cappuccino?” H: “She said it was garlic!” V: “Who, the old lady who runs the organic herb shop in the willage? She certainly saw you coming! She’s a real card, I love her!”
And now, I will not quit my day job. Thank you.
It frustrates me when the protagonist’s “shitty/awful job” is a great job that hundreds of other people would be glad to have, is likely to be a path to a GREAT career, and the things that make it shitty/awful are just dues-paying that anyone should expect to do on the way up.
The most egregious recent example of this that I’ve seen is Reality Bites, where Winona’s “shitty” job right out of college is working on a morning TV show as some sort of production assistant. Especially viewed via a 2012 economy and recent grad job outlook, she’s literally already ahead of 99% of her peer group and it’s just galling.
On a similar theme, I hate when awesome/magical/deus ex machine bailout jobs occur as plot points in stories where the main theme of the story is someone struggling to make it in the world. A recent one that had me gritting my teeth was the movie She’s having a baby, about the struggles of being a young married couple, wherein Kevin Bacon’s character suddenly gets an amazing executive job in advertising via bullshitting his way through an interview that someone with his lack of qualifications wouldn’t even get picked for in the first place, because the people interviewing him are so impressed as his blatant lying that they install him in the job. The fuck!? Considering the movie isn’t meant to be a farce and is focused on young middle class struggle, it’s a betrayal of the audience to wave the socioeconomic aspect away with a magical solution like that when the reality is that anyone else in their position would struggle through shitty jobs for the rest of their lives with little hope of improving.
This. Throw in werewolves and you’re up to nearly 100% of all programming.
This is a big one for me. Utter ridiculousness
That, unfortunately, is Hollywood’s approach to depicting poverty or just ordinary living. I recall especially avoiding any movie that ever won a prize at Sundance, as those were always phony depictions of poverty made by rich liberals for rich liberals, not a one of whom had the slightest first-hand experience with poverty, and just see it as a venue to justify playing politics.
Once…just ONCE I would like to see the atomic weapon work against the aliens!
Not to spoil anything, but if you watch a certain recent summer blockbuster featuring superheroes you may get your wish.
My only bete noire is bad writing. If a writer can take any of these plots and spin them into something intelligent or beautiful, I’m satisfied. As TvTropes says, tropes are not bad. A poster upthread blamed Jane Austen for writing rom-com chick-lit. Nicholas Sparks writes that, too. What makes Emma a classic and Nights in Rodanthe schlock is that Austen was a master of English prose, and Sparks…is not.
Quietly applaud you sir.
Meme means whatever The People say it means. This word has long transcended its original meaning.
My least favorite theme is the trend in romantic comedies to have a man deceive a woman, and then unwittingly fall in love. And then when the truth comes out he looks like a jackass and there is a brief interlude with the woman involving soft music, staring sadly into space and copious amounts of ice cream; and the man walking alone on a beach skipping rocks into the ocean, at which point the protagonist decides, ''Damn it, who cares if I lied?" And thinks of a big romantic gesture to apologize for being such a lying scumbag. And based on the Big Romantic Gesture the protagonista decides, “Damn it! Who cares if he lied?” And happily ever after.
Person A has something important to tell Person B. A tries many times, but keeps getting interrupted or misinterpreted. Person B finally finds out through some other means. Most egregiously, s/he will exclaim out loud in Person A’s presence, with A responding “that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” Can’t stand it.
Part of why this is dumb is the assumption that if Person A had only succeeded in telling the truth, Person B would have been totally cool with it. ''Oh, you’re really a journalist pretending to be a sea captain all this time? Well, since you told me about it, I’m totally not pissed at all!"
Using dreams to move the plot forward.
Ugh this. I hate dreams, unless they are a) super-brief and b) either 100% clear or 100% vague. That is, a ten-second clip of a vague dream doesn’t bother me; it’s all in the intrepretation. Same way a 10-second clip of a dream “X was killing me!” doesn’t bother me, either.
Beyond that, stfu about your stupid dreams.
There is the sub-meme to this.
Person A; I have something to tell you.
Person B: It’s ok, I already know.
Person A: You do, and you’re not mad?
Person B: I completely understand, you did what you had to do.
Person A; I mean, yeah, I did. But it doesn’t bother you?
Person B: Heh, no, in fact I’ve done the same thing many times.
Person A: Really?
Person B: Oh yeah, I just did it last week.
And so on, when they aren’t talking about the same thing but neither one is smart enough to realize it.
How on Earth do you misspell the name of the series?
Anyway, in the context of the series, the Olympians, Dahak, and other deities Xena met were no less divine than the god of the Israelites or pseudo-Abraham’s god. And Xena didn’t worship any of them, except for perhaps the Fates. There was no suggestion that the god of the Israelites was supreme over the others; he was just one of the few gods Xena had ever met who wasn’t a complete jackass.
The Mad Colonel. Usually a colonel, sometimes a one-star general. Like some of the other complaints, it’s worked in the past, but then just been done to death. Apocalypse Now? OK. Dr. Strangelove? Sure. A Few Good Men? Yeah, ok I guess. Donald Sutherland in Dreamcatcher (and probably a few others?) No. The Rock? No no no and no.
Police stations/government offices that look like MOMA. 24 and CSI, I’m looking at you guys. I’ve worked in both public safety and other places (not quite CTU) and I know what those workspaces look like. Offices. Kind of dirty offices sometimes, because when a room is occupied literally 24/7/365 (and yes, I do mean literally), it can be hard for the janitors to get a thorough job done.
One (non-super)hero vs 10 or more in a fistfight/improvised weapons brawl. Jackie Chan being the exception, because he is the Fourth Stooge (or fifth, I forget how many Stooges there really were), but come on, I don’t care how mad your martial arts skillz are, eventually even kindergarteners could pig-pile you into immobility.
Even two-on-one is never shown realistically. Bad guy #1 attacks the hero while bad guy #2 stands ready, arms outstretched. After the hero tosses or knocks out bad guy #1, then bad guy #2 attacks and is similarly dispatched. If bad buy #1 was just tossed, he gets up, and waits for bad guy #2 to be dispatched before going in for his next attack.
I took karate years ago. We did some two-on-one drills. Even when the one is a black belt, it isn’t hard for the two to work it so that one of them gets around behind the one, where any good attack can do serious harm. Even when the one manages to avoid that, it requires so much constant, fast almost-running to avoid being in the crossfire that a) you can’t wage any sort of effective attack, and b) you get completely drained of energy very quickly.
Want to be the first to know who your villain is in the latest blockbuster? Keep an ear peeled for classical music. If someone’s listening to it, bad enough–but if you see somebody actually playing it, whoa baby! Super-villain time. The minute I heard Jeff Bridges tickling a little Chopin out of the ivories, I yelled “Look out, Iron Man!!!” The other patrons were ticked, but they had to admit I was right.